exodus, exodus, exodus

so sitting here with the books for my exergesis trying to be motivated to write the thing although i have gotten further today than i have in the last few weeks so thats good. although it is amazing how much time you can waist doing random stuff like making soup and putting together parcels.
going to do some resurch into games for the young people now and then spend an one last hour reading for this essay.

would you put your hand in the fire?

does the fact that people have stoped doing something always mean that, that thing is not a good thing?
there have been some odd people commenting on my blog resently and i looked at one of there blogs which is dedicated to mocking other people because they do not conform to what the person narrow minded outlook on life. (this is definatly a person who need Jesus)
so in reading this blog i came across the fact that this person was not resticting their comments to adults but to a 14 year old amircan christian which i thought was horrid and said so. in reply to my comment someone said that christianity was pointless and was shown to be because no one was worshiping God any more and pointed to the fact that people had been putting jedi as their religion on the cencus.
well i have been thinking about this and have come to the conclusion that, the decline in christian worship in this country has been followed by suiside rates rising. by people with mental health problems, such as depression becoming more common and a definate breck down in community. i beleive that indervidulaisum is wrong, that we need community and we should live for community. we all know that exersize is good for us be how many people actualy do the recomended 30mins a day how many people eat their five portions of fruite and veg? just because the magority of people do not do these thing, does not make not doing them good for us. it just shows how daft humans are. oh and most people are surching for something spirtual to fill the space left by not accespting God. if you have ever read your horriscope (which are a lot of rubbish) then you cannot say that you do not want more.
and if you have never really investigated Christ as a way of filling that need i recomend you do because i can vouch for the fact that you will not ever have to look further.

clean slate

oh freedom have now told the young people so can blog about whats been going on with me at last.
two weeks ago i had a meeting with bill and dougie this was the one which i got really worked up about. well actauly had real reasion to be abit worked up about it all as the outcome was that i have to change placements next year.
so have spent the last two weeks confurming what i am going to do next year. so i am going to go to sight hill and marters which is were holly is leaving so thats good. although i need to confurm with them that i am going.
told the young people this morning which went as well as it could Gordon was there and we spent the afternoon together went for a walk in the park which was really good fun. i have also introduced him to the west wing which is good.
but it is so good couse i do not feel that i am lieing to my young people and church any more so happy again.

another long day

so wake up this morning after a day of feeling very very low with one exspetion but i still can't talk about that. felt better labor won which felt very pleased about even if it is not the best win that they have ever had. then Gordon phones me and says that Kat is very unwell and that i should come in to college and keep her company wile she went to the doctors. which was okay.
then went to goven hill and did circus skills which was good fun the kids were really responded well and were so pleased when they acheived things although i wish i had had more leaders who new what they were doing so that i could concetrait on single young people more. next week will do it one thing at a time.
i am so tired now and so low again i want to curl up in a little ball and sleep but it is far to early. pray for me.

not the best day

well have had a ruff day all in all think it may have carried on from yesterday which was also pants towards the end. just spent the day randomly bursting into tears or sitting looking at my pile of work and not doing it. but i guess i will survive gonna have a curry for tea a bath and an early night hopefuly will wake up to a better day tomorrow quite looking forward to voting which i beleive some people will find strange but i think that people who do not vote are not perticulay clever really.

my schools placment was good tonight though so its not all been gloom and doom.

lunch time in youth min room

so i am sitting in the youth min room waiting for the next class to start suzi and jen are both here to and random people keep woundering in and out looking for the course leader who has hide somewere so no one can actualy find him. not suprising after having our class this morning tehe. well honistly we are not that bad but well must be alittle depressing teaching a class that was mostley late and not looking that intrested in what he had to say.

actauly had a really good weekend down with Gordons family it was really hard work and alittle stressful in places but by far better than i had exsected so that was good. mum came over for her birthday and we went punting which was great i even had a go and didn't fall in!!!

the train up the country was alittle less fun than the train down couse we were so tired then i hung about all afternoon and jen kat gordon and i went to see hitch hickers guide to the galixy which was well not as good as the books but i guess it never really could be.

went home to find the place as i had left it which was good couse i forgot to close a window but bad because i had left it in a mess. although who would have cleaned it for me in that time i don't know so never mind it will be a fun job for thursday for tomorrow.

shouldn't really still be up

shouldn't really still be up at all but have so much still to do and actauly so awake that i will not be asleep. so making packed lunches for the train in the morning. oh what joy.

college was good yesterday went to a japaness restraint in the eve which was nice and then you would think i would know to sleep but didn't so sleepy today went and got the reading for next weeks class and have sat at home and gotten on with it wile just not feeling 100% again. urg
my meeting with pat this morning was good i really enjoy siting and chatting with her.

good good

the pathfinders session went really well this morning it was really rad couse it fitted in with what Gav talked about in YF tonight it is amazing how God works through the most odd situations.

my lunch with fiona johns was really nice as well we took Sarah and her friend to a fun day at a sports center and found randomly that Cara from my schools placement was painting faces it was really nice to see her outside of work.

holly and gav hung out for a wile and we had a good long chat about life love and laundary which was nice.

Pats party

So we had a really good time last night Pats Party was really cool. they had a cehli (am really gonna have to learn how to spell that word) although the band didn't call the moves during the dances which made it quite hard for the English amoung us and i think for some of the Scots as well. Gordon came and it was great fun to dance with him. although we had to leave early as the last train went a long way before the party ended.
but arrrrg came home and checked my mail just to find that somewere along the line communications had brocken down and i was meant to be leading pathfinders in the morning but ho hum got out the youth work magazeen andstarted addapting one of their ready to use prorams. could have done with out that but it doesn't matter.

its not my birthday

had the most random post this morning got a birthday card. which is random couse my birthday is in October but thats not the truley random bit the truley random bit was that they were concratulating me on my 80th birthday hummmmm.

just had a supervsion meeting with bill but have messed up the times or the days or something in my head as it is saturday and i was meaning to go to the libery after this meeting which takes me an hour to get to and closes at 1 in the afternoon so i would only get about ten minits before i was kicked out so gonna clean the flat and go in the libary monday morning instead.

Pats party tonight which should be good looking forward to getting dressed up for it.

tired

the meeting went well last night it wasn't as painful as i was exspecting at all. spent the morning in college talking to steve and then gordon and i went out for lunch. at a very badly run chinees restront was not impressed. then went to govon hill which was good althought he kids were totaly random all night am already starting to develope good realtionships with them and i have only been there one day i like this work. gonna spend the night curled up watching west wing and eating chocolate now though.

ab 

ab 

ab 

ab 

ab 

feeling quite sentimental about uganda today think it is because i scaned most of my pictures in and have them on my screen saver. but it was the best time of my life ever never had so many friends never did such random things like washing onse hair in the rain and it made my relationship with God so much stronger than it had ever been before. YFG love you all miss you wish i had a decent picture of all of us. 

essay sucsess

well it has been a good day today which is really good after the total low that i have been brought to over the last few days.
talk to steve and he sorta reasureed me about tomorrows meeting but i think i have come to terms with it with alot of help from God and my Friends. we will see
then got my curriculum desing essay mark back 70% which is a A!!! then i found out that i don't have to re-right the church meaning and mission essay although that is only pervisaly it might change but if i don't hear anything about it again i don't have to do anything about it again.
so that is such good news only have one more essay that means before i am all cought up which rocks. again so much God he is so wounderful.
then had a really nice meal with joyces across the road and a really lovley talk with my mum in which she proved that she can be a dippy as me yay i am not alown.

tehe i rock

Whats does your personality rate from 1-10? by morning_prayer
Your first full name
Your personality rates a	seven (you rock)
your best quality is	you help friends in need
your worst quality is	nothing! you rock!
this is because	youre true to yourself
Quiz created with MemeGen!

sorry world

been so ticked off have been taking it out on anyone and everything that happens to get in my way so if i have hurt your feelings today i am sorry. still feeling grotty from yesterday.

well today has been alittle frantic got up went strate into college to the libary to find the reading for tomorrow one of the books wasn't there which annoyied me but i am reasured that it was not the most important book.
then went upstairs and got stressed with Gordon for no real resion other than i am in bad mood.

came home and got on with editing a video for tonights group it is not the best but it will do it is sertainly better than anything i have done for this group before. now am gonna finish preparing this group and get on with reading for tomorrow and the next essay.

my mum is weired

yes she is she just sang the intire song 'oh lord its hard to be humble, when your perfect in every way.' to me hummm

arrrrrrrrrrrrrg

okay am not impressed with my church today. but will start at the start and end at the end as always.
spent last night at college it was nice to see Gordon although he was so tired was kicked out of his room quite early so he could go to bed. Kat and i had a nice natter before we went to sleep.
then Kat and i walked down to the station together and i went into work. the pathfinders session went well and i had an enjoyble after church period getting people to say what features they had inherated from their perants.
this is when things went drasticaly downhill dougie takes me into the old youth room and leaves me in there to go get bill. then they tell me that we are going to have a meeting and that the college knows about it and that the college had told them to tell me to bring a friend.
am quite worried by all this just been on the phone to various people claming myself down. i need to find someone who is free on wenesday to come to this thing with me, which is harder than it seems most people i trust are working.
I don't know i am probley making a mountain out of a mole hill but if this is not a bad thing then why did they tell me about it in such a formal way nothing we do is normaly done in such a formal way.

so excited

my dad just sent me two cds and a dvd but the exciting bit is the first cd i unraped from the large amounts of sallitaped bubblerap. THE MAGIC FLUTE which is the first oprea i ever went to see admitadly i have only been to two operas but i have listened to quite a few on cds and radio and so forth. but i love the magic flute it actualy makes you laugh so much. and my origonal copy was stolen some years ago with all the other contents my bag so am over the moon and whats even better is that this version is in english.
the dvd was the merchant of venice which is also very cool so looking forward to seeing it again as i would have loved to see it more than once at the pics but didn't manige it.
oh oh oh my clarinet will be fixed soon as well.

last night was a blast lots of music and really nice to catch up with steph from my monday night YF she has changed so much God is so good.

vegie tales rocks

so its been abit of a bissy day really got up and and went up to Suzies collecting Kat on the way and we had a meeting about how we can help Kat with Audio Epidemic which is good. then went into college got out a load of comentreis on exodus so that i can get on with writing the next essay on monday with no hassle. Not gonna write it this weekend couse i could do with a bit of a breack from accidemeor.
then had lunch with Gordon which was lovley although we went to pizza hut but i can deal with that. oh oh oh and he gave me two veigie tales sing alonge cds which he then assursed me didn't cost much they are really cool :-)
then have gone to the church and tidied up the youth room got ride of all the out of date posters and notices from the wall also cleaned up the shelves and found a lot of craft stuff i didn't know i had score!!
tonight going to cafe neos at newton mearns with steph none of the other kids could come but it should be a laugh anyhow. i am quite happy today which makes a nice change.

just for my lovley Jo bean here is a picture my Gordon. isn't he lovley :-) actualy love him so much 

3 down 4 possibly 5 left

here is the next istalment on the hole essay writting tally. history is done its not done well but none of them have been and the fact that i was without all my history books that are gethering dust in rushden didn't help. but i feel better with it sitting printed out here.
oh well now have to do prep for a few hours.

food with nice people

just been to drumchaple to some of Gordons friends for tea. which was nice if tireing. why is it that strangers make me so tried and i don't mean physical tired i mean gonna cry tired because i have used up all my emotional energy in talking to them.

fruit

question? if you are suposed to get five portions of fruit and veg a day and an apple counts as a portion some apples are smaller than others so do you have to eat two of the smaller apples to get your proper portion? hummmm should really be thinking more about my essay than this shouldn't I.

You May Be a Bit Histrionic ...

Dramatic and over the top, you crave attention. And you'll do anything it takes to get noticed. If you're ignored, you're easily hurt ... and act out even more!

What Personality Disorder Are You?

why is friends playing when my dvd player is off?

sereal moment at i am getting up. turn the tv on to see what happening in the world and the theme tune for friends comes on and i stand there trying to work out how friends is playing when my dvd player is turned off. of couse it is morning tv but i found it very odd.
actualy work up feeling refreshed this morning which is good :-) not happend for a long time the drugs are working.

i know i am clumsy okay

oh my goodness what a supremley orfel day. although slept okay for a change and got off to college in time. well Gordon an i ended up having a very emotional convosation about our future which is fine we are still together but we missed the first part of class oops but we are improtant as well.
then class and in worship time kat and i ended up crying in our accounterbility time i think it must be me.
class was good but long and the wisdom teeth thing is not gone yet and i have a headake on the way joy of joys.
got really annoyed at abe as well he created a skipping rope with his computer power cable and i tript up which was not fun the end up getting it court on my bag the next time i pass and he makes the comment that i have no co-ordination. which is true but he did not say it in love so it really really made me mad. i have a problem people should not make fun of me for it. and when life is hard and i am tired this problem gets worse. probley over reacting but there you go.

two down five possibly six to go

right thats two essays handed in now i have one more from last term to write at least one re-sit and three for next term i think although it may be more and another possible re-sit although the college havn't gotten back to me about that yet.

then on top of that i have an amazing lot of youth work to do including helping at a sleep over which i should probley not be doing but ho hum.

saw Gordon this morning which was nice although it was saddley for a very short peroid of time, but that looks like the only sort of time we are going alown together this week which makes me very sad. as i haven't actualy seen him properly for ages infact i don't know how long anymore. but surley it can't be this mad for much longer or at least thats what i hope.

church ect

so Pathfinder this morning was intresting although got alittle frustraited with some of the opinions aired i guess everyone has a right to their veiw though so i shouldn't.
really havn't sleept well again so my mood is not the best it can be which might exsplain some things really.
going to see the this tony anthony guy again today yesterday was brilliant but i suspect that today will be prity much the same again. even so it will still be good.

catching up

so the circus skills workshop at merrylea went well on thursday night although it was alittle bit of a rush only had about 6 minits with each group so speed teaching.
then my wisdom teeth started to hurt and i got pritty much no sleep the last two nights yesterday finished the essay for community resourcing its not very good but hopfully will do.
today have spent the hole day cleaning the flat feels so much nicer now no piles of ironing waiting to be done ect. suposed to be going to this tony anthony thing tonight but am feeling quite ruff due to the lack of sleep so not sure if i am going to make it. oh well.

jolly good

well antony has gone home now and am gutted it is very sad isn't it.
went shopping for some circus skills stuff for tonight which is not as fun as it sounds really as it was hailstones and sleet for most of the time i was outside. also droped my clarenett off to be fixed which is good will be able to play properly agian in a few weeks.

Joseph

so Ant and i went to see Joseph it was brill although the lead was alittle more sothern than i was exspecting. it was really impressive though the lighting was good the sets were fun i enjoyed it very much and so did ant.
mum phoned us durning it and when we finaly got through to her she said she was having an amazing time in america which is good to.

bad dreams

been up and down all night with some really bed nightmares i mean i have been having sleep troble for ages now but last night was really really bad and i don't know why which sucks.
going to the docs about it again today but have a feeling there is nothing more he can really do about it all. sure thing will get better when there is less stress so when i don't have two essays for last term to write and and two for the term before. although i get to hand one in today as well. Ant and i are being boring geeks again today and spending the afternoon eveing watching lord of the rings exstended eddition back to back it will be 11 hours of nurdum in the youth workers flat today.

so much going on

church this morning was good. running around so many notices to give so many things that are going on and i think perhaps to many things for some people.

it is all good though easter is such a dull holiday so i am glad there are plenty of things going on.

YF and church tonight as well.

so our meal out last night was okay although the chiness buffet was not the best one that we have ever been to. and we were subjected to bad kareoky before our meal. was so sad to say goodbye at the end of the night Gordon went off again this morning which makes me even more sad couse i want see him for a hole other week.

got the frist draft of my essay done now just have to go over it and polish it up and its done. we went to see vailent which was not the best they were trying to be funny and not maniging.
now have to prepare a session on the pharisees and cook a meal for my brother.

curls

well took ant to the hair dressers today he looks alot better. my apointment was later in the afternoon so left him there and came home and cleand the minging minging bathroom that was attached to my house. the kichen will be the next victim of the cleaning frenzy.

i think my hair dresser got alittle over exsited when i said that i wanted some curls in my hair feeling alittle large in the head department.

now am avoiding writing the rest of this essay, it is hard, i am so bord of it.

although looking forward to tonight going out for food with Gordon it is the only time i am gonna see him for the next week humph silly placment camp thing.

so have been sitting around doing my essay pritty much all day and got nearly half way through although had to make a mad dash into college to give linda a dvd that i forgot to give back to her on monday and she needed for the weekend.
and we (ant and i) went to the Mcdermids and Patons for tea which was nice although so many convosations was alittle confusing.

Your Icecream Flavour is...Neopolitan!

You aren't satisfied with just one flavor. They say variety is the spice of life and this shines through in your Ice cream of choice! Just don't eat all the chocolate and leave the strawberry and vanilla behind!

What is your Icecream Flavour?

Find out at Go Quiz

bad films and pizza hit

so we completed our nice things yesterday and went to the pics to see consentime it was not good. my advice is that if you are going to go and see it don't.
then ant and i went to pizza hut were he promtly got ill and we had to come home but thats okay going to have a quite day in today. which gives me some time to finish steves essay and get onto the next one. oh what a fun life i do lead.

nice things

so life is pritty good although think my communication skills could do with work at the moment. youth team meeting was short and ended up with just Douige and me going over the stuff as for the frist half we had a meeting with the netherlee team which was really good.
today antony and i are invoved in sneeking around to do nice things for people but we can't say what as the people who the nice things are for read this blog. we may go to the pics again after have completed our tasks.

yay i am back

the computer all cleaned up go Gordon although had alittle coffufel getting all the stuff to work again like the internet but thats okay.
Antony is up which is the most fun although i have been ill for the last three days so we have just sat around and watched films.
it is not good that i have been ill though ment that i missed the youth service which sucks and all the easter celibrations grrrrr.
youth team meeting tonight it is all good honist

stupid computers

well my computer is bust which is why i haven't been blogging for the past few days. the daft thing got a virouse i thought i was all protected and yet it still got one. it is such a hassel would have gotten one of the three essays written by now if it haddn't died on me.
oh well it has been abit of a manic weekend went to the cinnima with Kat and Simon to see flight of the phenix which was okay if not the most amazing flim i have ever seen. the friday wrote 561 words of this essay in the morning and went to see my agency plcement in the afternoon thats gonna be fun.
then Gordon and I went out for a meal and drink with Linda Fox and some poeple from Gordons work couse linda got a new job that was fun although i don't understand why pubs that are not desighed for dancing in have the music up so load you can't hear what the person next to you is saying.
then saturday spent the morning handing out leflets the afternoon urled up on the couch with Gordon and the evening jumping up and down at the sentire gig which was great my boys are so talinted.
yesterday was the same old same old although had lunch at the minitsters house which was lovely. was so tired and so ill last night though fun fun fun.

yay

just sent my essay off to be printed one down 3 to go. But now on a role so the others will just follow on.
went to the college this morning but desided to come home after seeing Gordon to finish this essay and start the next one. so here i am going to turn the heating up for and start the next lot of reading.

Feeling Low

feeling pritty rubbish and have to do bible study tonight. went to the docs and he said for varous resions that my sleep problems would not really get much better until the next three months are over. So i am going to have to continue feeling tired and drained.
on the positive side he said that i have to pamper myself more take plently of time to rest and relax and focu on the things that make me feel good. I don't know how that fits in with the atturtud os servant hood that Christians are suposed to try for.
well better get ready for bible study clean house read stuff ect.

long day

the youth service went okay it was alittle stiff to begin with but once we relaxed it was okay.
was walking towards home and Gordon apears next to me and gives me a fright but that was okay although he did get strait back on the bus after borring something for his computer. such is life
then spent the rest of the day writting this essay which i have the first draft done for needs some more refrences and alittle more work in places but it is nice to get things done.
the YF which went well we did a bit of a bible study type session tonight which was good.
so tired now.

Jesus Christ Superstar among other things

So a very productive day yesterday just the break the trend. Got the program for this essay on ciriculam desine finshed wrote the introduction to the actual essay and got nearly half way through all the reading i have to do for it.
I also prepared for YF tonight and wrote a news letter for the church website. not bad really although yesterday was suposed to be my day off ooops.
then Gordon and I went out for a pub meal which was huge and then to the theater at quite a pace to see Jesus Christ Superstar with some poeple from his work. It was exserlant although the theolgy of the hole play is serously messed up.
then we got back to the college and fell asleep infront of minority report it was a good film what i saw of it.
getting up this morning was fun had been sleeping in kats room so the room was cold and i was tired and i just didn't want to do it. but its the youth service this morning which will hopfully be good.

its abit odd

isn't it funny how we put more and more presure on young people to do better in their exams and stuff than the young people who done them in the past. But when they do acheive more than the year before we complain that the exams must be getting easier.
we may be putting our young people in a lose lose situation.

the lovley sunset from last night 

beautiful sunset

the sky outside my window is amazing the blue turning to gold with pink clouds. God is so great.
it almost makes up for trying to write this essay all day. getting there though so thats okay.

God always meets us were we are at!!!

In reference to prayer life and as well as all the christian disiplines

God alwasy meets us where we are and slowly moves us along into deeper things. Occasional joggers do not suddenly enter an Olympic marathon. They prepare and train themselves over a period of time, and so should we. When such a progression is followed, we can expect to pray a year from now with greater authority and spiritual success than at present.

Richard Foster.

It is so incoriging that the greats started from were I am and God will help me move forward to be like the greats

curled up in a little ball

so woke up at 7 in the morning yesterday which is early and felt fine until i got to the kichen when i got really dizzy so spent the rest of the day on the couch not doing very much and feeling rotten.
but did get ready to write my essay today although not really feeling much better gonna get as much of it done this morning as i can.

tired, stresed and not well

this morning started out quite well but went down hill form there. frist Pat didn't turn up for our session she must have forgotten again. then my shopping didn't come and so i had to phone tesco and see what had happened and they haddn't booked my dillvery slot properly. oh well
i did some work and time ran away and i was meant to be meeting Gordon in town i missed the train. but it was okay.
we got a drink and i could not finish it so put it in my bag till we got to Drumchaple well it exsploded in my bag so everything is now sticky with apple juice.
the kids were okay tonight although coming down with something so the room was spinning during the second group but it was only going slowley so maniged.
although there was a little inserdent with some kids poring squash over each other and so the older group of the night had to be cut alittle short.
oh well off to bed now to is to late for me to be up anyhow.

college and drumchaple

well got to college this morning and had a good nater in the common room before i went upstairs and got my morning hug from Gordon.
class was good we had a really good disscusion in our history class about uniformed organisations and weather they were still relivant. think we desided that they still have a place but they are not as important as they used to be.

then helpt Gordon at drumchaple which was hard work but quite rewarding. really tired now though.

pulling teeth

well its not been a good day for gtting things done. although i didn't start of to badly as i got one of my refective reports done 1 down 3 to go.
then started to prepare for the evening group and failed in the middle and had to do something else.
the kids were not very reposive iver oh well you have to take the good with the bad i guess.
i have pottered around for to long tonight need to go to bed now.

Fun, Fun Fun

okay so sunday what a day. made mum some pancakes for mothers day which i think she enjoyed then she went and sorted out my bedroom. went into church which was good first time i have been in the service for months and months.
then we came home and put food on. Gordon came over to wave her off from the taxi. and that was that it was really good to see her.

then went and did the rehursal for the eve service we so need to practice more we did well considering how much practice we had but feel that the young people did not reach their potental which is a shame because when they do it is amazing.

no YF so Gordon and i came home and watched the telli. we walked to mount floidor station which is just as close as cathcart station and not back towards the church so you don't feel like your walking the same streach of road all the time.

some assembaly required

well we moved my house and tidied it up today which was useful couse i just don't see solutions to the cluter which i am quite comfortable with but obvolsy upsets other people. then we went into town and bought two new heaters for the flat and a unit for the the kichen which gives me more surface space to cook so good.

although discovered my screw divers were not good infact they brock pritty much instantly which ment putting the thing together was no picnic. but we maniged. it looks good.
oh and i finaly have some clip frams for my pictures so my walls will look nice soon :).

oprea

mum arrived this afternoon signifcantly late because there was ice on the run way at luton. but that just gave more time to clean. although she came through the door and said what a mess. never said i was neat i am clean.

then we went and met up with Gordon in and went to the chinna buffet king. and up to the theater royal to see semile which was good although not the best if it is your first time. it started in the form or an oritoreo and i though oh no no no no but it was okay by the first intervile they livened up.

look i can do titels now

still waiting for mum ice on the runway at luton means that her flight has been delayed. but on the positive side she is getting me an mp3 player in the shop there i am paying for it but it is less exspensive because it is duty free so thats good.
have cleaned the kichen which inclueded the oven which was gross.
going to do a quite time now and then some of the reading for this essay wile i am waiting for her to come. it is all good really it is.

mum comes today so have to clean arrrrrrrrrg. oprea tonight really looking forward to it.

want to screem or cry or something just can't do iver couse it hurts my head. its been a long long day today really should have just stayed in my bed. oh well it wasn't a total waist steves class was good and i got cought up on some of my prep in the afternoon class. then my evening meal was lovley.
had to go to cathcart baptise church couse kat had forgotten her bible there so found that and talked to chris the minister there for ages was saying all about the youth workers job and when they were going to interveiw and stuff. he was quite exsited.

had a really good One to One session with Pat this morning worked our way throught the frist two chapters of john and thought about who it showed us jesus was what the people around him were like as well.
then helta scelta into town and to Drumchaple with Gordon which was fun hard work but fun. so so so tired now though

long long long day today. although my alarm went off at the wrong time. well the right time for thursday but that makes things feel worse because i had to leave the house within ten minites.
it was snowing which didn't help.
class was dull this morning or at least i couldn't concentrait for most of it. so sat and did stuff on-line. then had lunch and class again this afternoon was good we were talking about addiction a lady from the phenics house thing came and talked to us it was really really good.
the went to Drumchaple with Gordon to help with his group it was good did the craft with the young people so quite a sudate evening but so so so tired.

Caterlyst was great last night did some really good networking afterwoulds as well.
we will hopefully be doing some stuff with Cathcart Baptise Church at easter. which will be good good good.

then Jenny Kat Simon Gordon and I went to Jenny's perants house and played all night. her perants are away so she was house sitting. they have two very cute dogs who snore. we played with guns in the gardan at 1 in the morning and really annoyed the naybours (i mean it they came out and told us off and not politly).

we watched wicka park till 3 then talked till 5 so feeling alittle wrecked today but it was well worth it really feeling so much better and relaxed. kat and I had a good moan this morning which was good as well.

kay best get ready for bible study later

Youth band Practice went really well today Jan martindal came and sorted them all out. so it actualy really did go well.
although am currently missing the praise service which was tonight so that i can deal with caterlyst and going out with everyone tonight. sounds alittle messed up i know but i am guessing that I serve God better when i am happy and i get really, really, really upset when i feel like i am missing out on stuff my friends are doing. So i have done all the things that my youth work requires of me today which also means that i can take time to be with friends and hopfully that will lift me out of this dark pit, that i have let myself fall into, or it will at least help lift me.

Gordon and i had a really, really lovley meal on Friday, went to another indian and ordered far to much food :-).
it was so worth fighting through my headake to do although was still in pain yesterday morning which meant that i did not have the energy to go home or do any of the work i had planed to do. means between last wenesday and yesterday i am so behind that i am woundering how i am going to manige to catch up could cry. Although it was nice to sit and watch Gordon do his day to day stuff. but i think i was alittle bit of a nusance when it came to him studying because i feel asleep on him oh well.
we didn't go to ellem because i didn't feel i could cope with the lighting i feel bed about that because i wanted to go and i stoped Gordon going and he wanted to go it sucks.
today is going to be hard i am leading pathfinders this morning which is so funny. because i am so bearly consous i wounder weather it is going to be okay it is quite an intresting subject this morning so thats good.

ouuuuuuuuuuuch my head is really bad today had a bit of a emotional stress day yesterday so am paying the price. wish my body would stop doing this to me oh roll on heaven when we get hole new bodyes and stuff what fun it will be not to have a malfunctioning brain.
anyhow apart from that it has been a good day ended up staying at the college couse i missed the last train home last night but that was fun we had random food all night. we went to jennyes wes owen concert last night as well and that was great she has such a lovley voice. so did the other girl who was playing but didn't know her. then Gondon and i watched equlibrium and i unloaded alot of the stress of the day to him which was good i guess although shouldn't really put it on other people sorta need to learn to deal with it other ways.
woke up this morning with a rageing headake and went back to cathcart to find that my church had underpaid me so i had alittle bonus waiting for me in the form of a chequ so that was a boost. then picked up some wires for Gordon and came back into college were we had a welcome back lunch for Alison who had been away to shrelanka helping with the Tsumsami effort. it was great fun although don't mention fairy tales.
this was abit of a garbeld post but never mind hope you enjoyed it.

been abit of a useless day again not doing well on wenesdays ment to spend the morning cleaning and the afternoon studying but it didn't work out like that at all. tryed to tidy but found that I just didn't have the motovation to do anything so sat and did crafts instead.
college tomorrow so should get of to bed soon but am not actualy that tired.

really really bissy day today college was good enjoyed classes although got really really upset with the afternoon one.
we had a visit from LGBT people (this is a steve mallon class) which was fine really I mean it made me uncomfortable but i can deal with that. What upset me is when we were talking about when the young people who fall into this catergary are bullied they have a much worse time than any other group of young people who are bullied. The guy seemed to think that isolation was a unque thing to them. Which made me so so so so cross because i know from personal expserance that, that is not the case. Yes they do get a hard time and thats not right but it is not any less or more destructive than any other young person exsperance of bullies.
but such is life i guess will talk to steve about it next week.
The youth team meeting went well in the evening.

so intresting day. spent most of it not know were i was going. knew were i was but not which way to go so that means i wasn't lost cose i new were i was going.
docs this morning which is why i was out of the house it was in a diffrent place than the last time.
YF was good lots of intresting discursion infact so much intresting discusion that we didn't do much of the other stuff that is part of YF. oh well.

feeling very low think its because i am so tired and in pain.
band practice went well although some of the young people were getting alittle stressed.
then evening service was great and so was YF.

Cathcart Trinitys website is working again go have a look.

Charles Rennie Mackintosh  

Youth Cafe went well last plenty of young people some who i have never met before which is incoriging. i put of a load of craft stuff and just let them get on with making stuff they wanted to make some intresting creations came off the table and we had that old fav the cirus skills stuff out which they always like.
my meeting with bill was really good yesterday came out feeling uplifted and affurmed which was good.

so church today should be good feeling headaky still but Syndole will help with that and give me and engergy boost. there is a band practice this afternoon and so am gonna be exsosted by the end of the day so glad i was not at the college last night otherwise would not have maniged well. can't wait till wenesday when i can rest properly and get ride of it, it is not good to get a headake on friday.

wow such a bissy cuples of days.

Mary and Mat came and it was great we chated till late at night and then they slept late wile i did some reading in the morning and we went into town met up with steph. We had tea at the willow tea room which the Mackintosh themed place it was really really lovely.
I then left them with steph met up with Gordon and we both went to tea with the Patons and Mcdirmeds. which was as always lovely.

we both walked round to have a look at Cathcart Baptise which is one of the churches that Gordon is aplying to for a job.
then left him at the train staition and went home were mary and mat were waiting for their lift to the place were their family were having their holls in argile. that was fun because the guy did not know were he was going and we did not know were he was but through the four of us he arrived here.

yesterday spent the morning at the college althoughw as really dopy then came back and had Tea with Shela shaw and Family which again was lovley and headed back into town for a games night at the college. Ruth Jamie Laura and Pat were all on the platfrom at Cathcart going to the pics so i walked with them as far as the usg and then on to the college.

the games were great fun although alittle painful. fell over three times once was nocked over second time triped up over the person running infront of me and nearly brock my nose on their back. The final one was the most spectaula were play a game called Perue which is a version of sardeens. i was looking around the leacture theater pitch black trip up a step and hit my head on the metal bit of the desk. thought i was okay until the middle of the next game when ended up on the floor with my head between my legs until i relised that eveyone was waiting for me to find them and so went and found them behind a curtain in the libary. then went up and slept on Gordons bed.

still alittle light headed but feeling okay.

well had a rad day yesterday. Cleaned the house and sorted out some of the house and sorted out some paperwork. then was just settling down to have a bit of a quite time and Gordon arrives early oooops should have had the quite time before. we watched the emporance of being ernist and had food it was a really really lovley night.

Today had college both classes were amazing :-) Although steves class was really really challenging he likes to make us squirm i think.

Linda and i went to see magic roundabout it was alittle strange but quite amusing in places.

now am feeling alittle ill so am going to have some food and a bath then go to bed early.

Mary's coming tomorrow!!!!!

If Jesus lived today in the west, would he have only picked men to be his disiples?

chruch tonight was great and YF was great it worked so well with what we talked about in the morning and dougie was leading the sesion and he was no where near my session this morning. God is so Good :-).

this squirrle almost touched my shoe yesterday. It was well cool they are so tame. 

had a near perfect day yesterday with Gordon went to the college in the morning and had lunch which was random stuff from the Marks and Sparks stuff the college gets free everyweek. so it was really really nice.
then we went to the botanic Gardens in the west end. which was lovley although it we did get cought in sevril diffrent showers so got quite wet early on which was the only down side to the day really.
we walked around the green house and looked at all the wounderful plants then walked by the river through the park and got back to the greenhouse in time to miss the next rain shower so so so lovley. then we walked along Buyers Road and looked in some shops.
then we went to dinner at this amazing indian restraint the food was goegouse will go there again deffinatly although a waiter got alittle confused and gave us our bill after our starters it was all okay though we still had our main meal which was lovley.
then to Buggsy Malon which was really well done Youth theater rocks.
was very cold last night and we had a minor adventure on the buses but its nice when its cold to cuddle up although thats nice when its warm.
then we sat on the couch and cuddled for alittle wile before i went to bed.
church this morning was brill we went into the childrens adress which ment that my session was to long but thats life and we got the most important bit over and done:-)

oh oh oh mini YFG reuion on wenesday Mary is coming up so so so so so so exsited

so not gone outside today and acheived very little although have written two of the three letters i needed to write to the young people. and cought up on the backlog of the washing up and did some washing of clothes. the living room is still covred in paper but thats just life.
gonna do the silly reading now and finish off my prep for sunday just remebered that i am leading the pathfinders in the morning eeeeeeeek and of course YF in the afternoon. oh well best get on with it.

Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence

You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well. An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly. You are also good at remembering information and convicing someone of your point of view. A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary. You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator.

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

not sure about the convincing people about my point of veiw but i like the idea that i am good at phrasing uniqye words and would make a good writer. ummmmmmm although possibly not really its only a bit of fun.

Yay what fun

You Are the Individualist

4 You are sensitive and intuitive, with others and yourself. You are creative and dreamy... plus dramatic and unpredictable. You're emotionally honest, real, and easily hurt. Totally expressive, others always know exactly how you feel.

What number are you?

my goodness i feel ruff but ho hum. sarah is worse again not much fun not much fun at all.
my eye test went okay need a slightly stronger lense this time but not the end of the world was exspensive though.
then hung out at the college with Gordon for the rest of the morning my head was hurting so wasn't the best company i suspect.
got home okay and didn't do anything not cleaned the house not read anything fell asleep and had a bath. I am so usless.

just been very rudley awakened by the postman but my computer bag has come hopefully will help the hole back ack problem. yay. so today have an appointment at the optisions will get photos that i put in last and go the the libarey to get some books as well as cleaning up this bomb site that is my flat parties are hard work before during and after. so bissy bissy bissy

maddness went to college this morning and was not very up for class although what ai attened was good.
fellowship groups was okay i was incharge of worship and it was not the best not very good at leading worship.
then went to the docs about the sleep thing which went well. Gordon and i hung out around the surgary near queens park and had some cakes and stuff at a bakery.
it was really nice.
then back to college and helta scelta back to the flat were i made pancakes and nine people came to my pancake party for thoughs of you who have not been in my flat it was sertainly cosy. the last three kids here had a great time making rude poetry on my fridge door i will not repeat it but it was actualy quite funny.
such a bissy day am soo tired so probley gonna have a bath and go to bed very very soon.

its been a good day had my pastoral time with Wilma this afternoon which was lovley there was a little lady who came and joined us for the first bit but that was quite nice to.
then YF was really good. talking about commitment to God got some good responses from the young people. reading to do now fun fun fun

well am sitting around thinking about food and going to church last night and holls come on-line and wants to come round to hang out well obvelsy was going out to work but said for her to come round and hang out till i came home which she did.
The eve service was amazing Wilma talked about being the people who lead others to the light even if people refused to beleive what we were saying we are still to keep leading the way to the light. then at the end the talk over music was send your fire today which sunddenly turned into a resounding coursouse from the Congreation one hopes that they have being inspired. She talked about sirtual fairs which is something that has been buring in my heart for a wile whenever i see one in town i want to go in and just ask the people in there they would like someone to pray with them. Guess next time i will actualy have to do it.
then we took the young people to the crypt which was great the maim theam was is God good and he used the lion the witch and the wordrob which made me very happy love that book. the main thing that stuck out though was that God doesn't show his will to the people who just want to know it he shows his will to the people who want to do it.
Holly and i then sat up and chatted for the most of the night. which was good :-)

really good morninging the Pathfinders had really good discusion. the i went for a nice long walk in the park with my CD walkman and my camera. it was really really nice the first day for ever that you could walk outside without a coat gloves and scaff. it was really really beautiful God is so good. can't wait to see the first leaves on the trees and the crocases.
oh we are going to have a impromtune pancake party on tuesday so my house is gonna have to go through a big clean more so than normal on monday.

am feeling very aware of how little i truley know about God. it seems the more a learn the less i know.
before i had no idea about the fact that there were so many diffrent veiws of God that people had come to so many conclusions about God and his nature. But now i read some of these things and they all fall so far from the mark that i relise that whatever we do however much we try we can not fully truley know God in all his majesty and power and wisdom and grace and and and and. which is exsiting because however long i live i will never come to the end of the things that i can learn. so i need never really feel stale or unchallenged couse i can just go to wes owen and bye a book and find some new idea and see if it is something that fits into my prospective of who God is.

feeling inspired :-D

woke up this morning with the most dreadful headake can bearly move. think that i went to bed dehydrated last night which is never a good idea idea. although we had such a good night last night it is not the end of the world.
had a relaxed morning yesterday sent Teresha her choclate parcil it was really nice the Gordon phoned me and told me to get my ticket to see ocens 12 for the eve on my way into college but i forgot to ask and he forgot to tell me what time we were going in and then i could not get through to anyone in the college so stood in the pics foyar for 50 mins ouch. then we watched some of run away jorey and played with the Gun so much fun.
then Jenny Linda Simon Kat me and G went to a restraint but it was full and we ended up in the lovelyest italinan. Alison joined us later in the meal i don't know Alison very well but she seem really really nice.
then we went to the pics the film was not the best certainly not as good as Ocens 11 but okay.
Alison gave me a lift home which was good as everyone was nackered at the college and the headake was starting and it ment she didn't have to go all the way home on her own.

wow what a day. well started off by woundering down to the station and having a leasuly stroll to college as we don't have to be in till 10:20 was there about 9:45 and sat and read till people started to turn up. then we alls tood outside our class because it apeared to have been tacken over by theolgy students and waited for steve so he could kick them out. really good leacture with Steve this morning although will have to sleep before i will be able to refect on it properly. then lunch was good sat down and eat my sandwige ith everyone else it is not as much hard work as it used to be sitting in a social setting so thats a good thing.
the afternoon leacture was so boring it was painful and it took so long for it to finish. although placment seminars was really good we had a great discusion about funding and what each of us did for it in our diffrent places of work.
finaly helta sceta down to the station and to the Patons for Tea really nice Gordon came to and we had a fun evening playing riddles and telling each other cheesy jokes. now sitting watching 24 Gordon went strait home as it has been a long long day which is a good thing i think i might sleep okay tonight which i am so looking forward to.

Give it to me straight from the heart
Tell me we can make one more start
You know I'll never go
As long as I know
It's coming straight from the heart

really bad night last had another one were i just could not sleep till about 12 even though physicaly and mentaly exsosted then woke up four or five times. honislty what is wrong with me i do everything i can to calm myself down before i sleep. I read my bible, i pray, i do breathing exersises and i can't complain that my room is to cold any more and yet i still have these problems will i always have them? or are they just a stage in my life? it is so frustraiting although going to a specialist about it all next tuesday so hopefully that will help.
so am sitting here woundering if pat is gonna turn up for you one to one session today doesn't really matter if she doesn't but it would be nice if she does.

it was a good day today we all dressed up. wore my blue dress which i havn't worne for ages and Gordon had found a suite from varouse places he polishes up good. although the funny thing was the steve was taking us to st mungos museam of religion in the afternoon so i looked a real idiot it was fun though. although did not enjoy the content of the trip at all. the museam upsets me on so many levels it is badley layed out it does not have enough stuff in it to justify its exsistance. and on top of that they say that all relgions lead to God and they give a uneven veiw of the christian faith which does not even really give any light into what christain faith is. humph. went to see ladder 49 after college mistake fire films give me nightmares but oh well it was a very good film after all.