urg well not done so well with getting the frist draft of this essay done. but made a good start on getting it done. gonna see how long i can go without falling apart hohum.

the goal for today it is get the frist draft of this essay done. may be abit of a unrealistic goal it may not be but gonna try. yesterday YF was good. steve was there and the Guys were wounderful they entered into the convosation. and my feedback was very possitive and i was very encoriged maybe i am not as bad at what i do as i thought i was. but best get to work.

on my way to do the washing up honist. it is really bad i have actualy run out of forks really need to get myself sorted and get motavated to do these things. eassy to do this afternoon which is good have alittle extra time to do it. as one of my leaders is sick and the band practice can not happen without him. as he is the only one who knows how to set up the PA for the young people. should really get someone to teach me how to do it all ho hum

had quite a productive day. made a start on the reading for an essay which is dull but good. then had steph holly and Kat around for tea they have just left we had a good night watched 6sences which is a really good film. got alot of washing up to do now though only down side to having guests think i will sleep well tonight am very tired watching the news urg

ruff night last night was sick but feeling much better now sleept from 9pm-9am this morning. yesterday was good class was okay although as per normal totlay lost the thread by the end of the second lecture. ho hum feeling quite low it is the thought of all the essays i have to write and how i havn't even started to make a dent in them at all. oh well such is life. looking forward to tonight the girls are coming round and we are having a girly night in. although weather one will ave the energy by then one shall see.

wow what a bissy day i have had. but first everyone how sad is this Gordon and I are sitting next to each other in the living room and staring at respective laptop screens. well this morning went to see Joan Park to give her some money from the church for the time that i stayed with her. so that is one stress gone and out of the way. then went and did my food shopping which was heavy. reading for a wile followed by a visit from the wounderful Ruth who helped me out with an assiment and had a really nice chat with her about life love and the univers. then came into college and went a youth workers confrence called re-ignight your youth ministry it was good. sertainly something to think about and take deeper. spent the rest of the evening getting hair stretend and mucking about which is all good.

college was okay today enjoyed Kens class. although it makes me insainly tired. we went to see ladies in lavinder tonight which was not the best film i have ever seen. Didn't like the idea that you can only have a fulfiled life in a relationship with a man if you don't get married then you will turn into a strange unhappy old woman. Also have some serouse reservations about the historical athentisaty of the story saw some mager flews in set costum and use of electiristaty. but for a mindless cupple of hours it was okay.

havn't done as much as i would have liked today but have gotten a fair bit done so thats okay. YF tonight was possitive we did one on image. It may be alittle worring that i feel quite pleased with my groups when all the young people in them havn't burst into tears. but they didn't ths week and that is so nice.

well getting out of bed this morning was alittle bit of a tril so tired. made the mistake of not looking at my watch before phoning Gordon last night at about midnight and so feel alittle ruff due to lake of sleep. the reason I was unaware of the was because after i got back form caterlyst last night i just got on with what i had to do and it took my much much longer to do it than i thought. but time passes fast when you are having fun so i must have been having fun so its okay. went to town and got a video camra from neil to do the stuff for the assinment for listening and Guidence skills. Not going to comment on that module will get very annoid if i do. now am getting ready to start the next two essays which are due in within a week of each other so gonna attempt to do them both at the same sort of time. we will see how that goes but not sure weather i can manige it. going to a confrence called re-ignight your passion for youth ministry looking forward to it :-)

G and I walking home from the pics last night. good to have friends who will put up with taking pictures of us thanks Holly and Gavin. 

had really nice night last night. we went to this curry night which was quite good fun as we all sat round a table and played bord games till the food was ready then again afterwould sort of took away some of the tension of being in a new placce. the food was nice as well :-). then we went to the pics and saw Taxi which was not very deep but wasn't trying to be and it is nice to just sit and watch people being silly sometimes. raining and cold outside got back to the flat about 9:45 this morning with two very wet feet and my hair going all curly. never mind such is life.

moved my living room around again think i like it this way round. but havn't acheived much work wise but getting there really should not be procstinating and writing this. going out with Hols Gav Gordon and some friends of Gordon tonight should be good.

well been avoiding it all day even to the point of going to the hair dressers. But have just gotten back from the garige who have bought my car from me for spare parts. fixing it was out of the qustion.  

it is cold in here but not putting the fire on couse i have to find my car keys and go clean out my car so that then i can take it to the garage and give its last rights. bit sad but i think it is actualy going to be a weight of my mind. yesterday was good college fairly intresting in the afternoon althought the moning class was fun it still has very little content and basicly would be a good workshop for people who are not paying quite as much money as we are. forgot to get the carma for the assiment video as well but i will get it monday and will get acupple of my young people to visit me and help me out. stupid assiment anyhow. James birthday party in the evening it was quite nice although i really didn't feel very socail so G and i spent the evening watching indiana Johns raiders of the lost ark. it was really nice to spend time together.

oh dear fire has just gone out which mean that i have to change the the gas bottle it's so heavy. but i guess since the land lord has still got the key to the cupbord down the stars. so the spare bottle is in my hallway so i don't have to carry it very far.

college was a really good today nothing special really just had a genraly good day. we spent lunch time with Tony which was good. talked for a long time to holy last night which was nice as well.

these are the celtic houses they have proper fires in them it is really like goin back in time dispite the modern dressed attendts. :-) 

wow just back from a weekend in Wales that was all it ever could be. ho hum. alright it wasn't that bad but well there are places i would rather have been. we went to saint fagins which is a great museam i love the celtic houses they are the best and i did a load of college reading as well i read a novel and half. back at college now and back to the same old same old wen to the pics this afternoon saw Bridget Johnes which was okay.

quite a good day. came into college with all my stuff to go down to wales tomorrow so that i didn't have to go home and did law and narritive this morning during which totaly lost the thread of what ted was talking about but didn't matter that much. had to sleep through fellowship groups because of my head and that helpt in the last part of the class. then had lunch with Gordon which is always nice. Linda and i went to see finding never land this afternoon which was an amazing film and made me dream of being back in the theater when i was a kid with my dad and mum doing there thing. oh joy. spent this eveinging doing photocopying for class intend to do alot of work wile i am down in wales catching up and so forth getting back on an even keel so that i can then get into a proper ruteen when i am home which will hopefully sort out some of the stress.

hummmm not done all the things i intended to do today including tideing my house. will do that after YF tonight something to look forward to. went to the doctors today about my migrain last week he gave me some painkillers and a mirgain prevention tablet just the same old same old i rember this from before is there nothing else that they can surgest. honistly.

it is amazing how little things can make me so happy. was just walking down the road from church and kicking the Autum leaves around and i just felt so happy. being cuddled by G gives me the same feeling its good i have it on tap which is really cool so glad that we are together. okay gonna stop before this gets to sopy ;-)

the bonfire in Drumchaple 

my life what a weekend. Friday was a really good day Gordon and i went out to lunch with some of his college friends then we went to Drumchaple and gave out hot chocolate to the people who were setting off fireworks and watching the bonfires. it was great fun and i think people apreshated it. Finaly we went to see a very strange film called bad santa not sure about it. Then had to get up at 7the next morning (ouch) to get to church and do the Alpha away day thing which was good long but good. then yesterday evening took two girls to a christian event called amaze which was again okay. it was a very long day though and was a in serouly bad mood when i got in so tired. oh well

Had big choclate craving last night. mega although Ben and Jerry's would have done. although had neither so made pancakes. 

feeling a bit zoned out. been at college all day so that is always a reasion for feeling a bit thin at the end of the day. Holly came and stayed over yesterday we had a good day although had to leave her to go to a youth team meeting. Which was a good meeting we got stuff done. getting out of the house was a bit of a pain this morning so tired and getting through the day was alittle anoying to.

yay head apears to have sorted it's self Syndol rules. have also finished one of the books i have been reading Hat Full of Sky by Terry Pratchet and as useal with TPs books i have no complaints at all really love Discworld. now have gotta get the new novel as Hat Full of Sky was the latest childrens book. The new novel is all about the post office can't wait to start reading it. the only question is can i whight till christmas and get mum to bye it for me or do i have to have it now. Guess Christmas it will have to be couse i don't have money or time and it is good to have a book to read at home. ho hum anyhow have to go to the actual post office today i have a parcil waiting for me which is a bit of a surprise as i havn't ordered anything. wounder what it is? listening the the news they are talking about the American election sort of can't wait till it is over thats all that people have been able to talk about for ages bord of it all now.

had to miss college today could not handle it. but it seems to be getting better Praise God. have now got a microphone for my laptop and so can talk to Gordon over msn which will save us so much money on phone bills.

well it has been a long day through the pain have gotten the first draft of my essay done. but now my head is painfull like yesterday. Gordon came over which was great but he had to leave quite quickly which made me very sad which does not help with the pain in my head but it was lovely to see him though. think i will be sleeping through lunch and break tomorrow just to get through. have slept alot today as well. but should get ride of it wenesday or then again still have darrels reading to do dam may never get ride of this pain. there is just to much going on. really really sad help

it's been a bad weekend. i went to the college friday night to go pics with Gordon. well due to my genral dizyness we didn't go and ended up not going at all and played monoply which was good. but saddely the headake that i had had all day developed into a full blown mirgrane.
which made me very panicy couse i really really don't want to start having mirgrians again espeshaly when my life is so good.
Although i know why it developed liying in a room on your own lets you do alot of introspection and really it just to many things to deal with all happening at once.
Essays, sick perants, silly brothers that sort of thing.
It meant that i could not go home couse i don't go outside were there are roads when i have a migrain unless there is someone else with me. But on the possitive side of that meant that i got to spend the weekend with Gordon although would have rather been well and been able to play and have fun for a day than to be sick and stcuk liying down for two.
and really really cross that i had to miss work i was really looking forward to this sunday.
however am now home feeling quite alot better and have shrek 2 which is the best.