i think that over the last weekend it has all finaly hit home feeling very depressed today.
Gordon and i went on this church tresure hunt yesterday and all i could think was please please let there be no one else in our car i can't do social. i have never been so afraid to go to church and see people the very idea of social things is making me feel sick and yet i guess life goes on and i have to face these things.
the tresure hunt was good lots of good ideas to nick for my own work
Monday, April 30, 2007
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
ten hours later
traveled the rest of the way back up the country yesterday. was so tired when i got in went to bed about 8:30pm scary stuff but it is ruffly a ten hour journy with lots of stoping and starting. although saying that i have been on much much worse trains all of them had powerpoints so played the sims all the way back up.
today back to reality i have to start dealing with losing my job finding out my rights getting another job. not feeling depressed even trying to see my boyfriend which is harder than it should be really.
am feeling very very very low but am aload to i think
today back to reality i have to start dealing with losing my job finding out my rights getting another job. not feeling depressed even trying to see my boyfriend which is harder than it should be really.
am feeling very very very low but am aload to i think
Monday, April 23, 2007
after jos wedding
we left about 11 because the drivers where tired and we needed not to crash on the way home slowley everyone fell asleep which was not good for poor old keith as he was driving and just as tired as all of us.
when we got back to ruths we all went strait to bed and really strait to sleep we where so recked.
next morning steph gordon and i got a lift in plymoth to catch respective trains and buses steph and i where on the same train to birminaham which was lovley we made cards and chated and played just a minit gordon got a bus he was flying from exitor.
the trains out of birminan where all mesed up which was annoying i had to get on two different couchs and spent 2 hours getting to lester where i had to get another train to wellinbough which really annoyed me and i was so tired by the end of it i felt quite ill when i got home.
think i will head back up to scotland tomorrow and face my world again.
when we got back to ruths we all went strait to bed and really strait to sleep we where so recked.
next morning steph gordon and i got a lift in plymoth to catch respective trains and buses steph and i where on the same train to birminaham which was lovley we made cards and chated and played just a minit gordon got a bus he was flying from exitor.
the trains out of birminan where all mesed up which was annoying i had to get on two different couchs and spent 2 hours getting to lester where i had to get another train to wellinbough which really annoyed me and i was so tired by the end of it i felt quite ill when i got home.
think i will head back up to scotland tomorrow and face my world again.
jos wedding
the wedding seromany was wounderful so beautiful. there was so much love and scriture and god was totaly in every moment of it.
the minister was clearly well known to both bride and groom and made some very wounderful points.
jos dress looked amazing infact she looked amazing.
after the sermoney we waited around wile photos where tacken the waiting staff desided we where good people to feed and came and stood with plates of ontrays its was most amusing gordon comented that he had exspected us to be all who could eat the least and lady like which made me laugh not us we where never like that :)
the markee was beautiful althoguh the centre peaces got in the way much to nics horro erica moved the one on our table so that we could see each other properly. it was quite amusing :)
they had a band to play wile we ate and then after dinner for dancing which was great fun although i always feel so clumsy and stiff on the dance floor partucualy since it was all ballroom stuff eeek but steph and i had a giggle to begin with and then gordon cut in which was good i like dancing with him i know if i fall down i wont end up in a heap :)
we chated to jo breifly servril times which was lovley its a shame we could not have got her over the night before but of course these things never work like that.
i hope she and frank are very happy and i am sure they will be
the minister was clearly well known to both bride and groom and made some very wounderful points.
jos dress looked amazing infact she looked amazing.
after the sermoney we waited around wile photos where tacken the waiting staff desided we where good people to feed and came and stood with plates of ontrays its was most amusing gordon comented that he had exspected us to be all who could eat the least and lady like which made me laugh not us we where never like that :)
the markee was beautiful althoguh the centre peaces got in the way much to nics horro erica moved the one on our table so that we could see each other properly. it was quite amusing :)
they had a band to play wile we ate and then after dinner for dancing which was great fun although i always feel so clumsy and stiff on the dance floor partucualy since it was all ballroom stuff eeek but steph and i had a giggle to begin with and then gordon cut in which was good i like dancing with him i know if i fall down i wont end up in a heap :)
we chated to jo breifly servril times which was lovley its a shame we could not have got her over the night before but of course these things never work like that.
i hope she and frank are very happy and i am sure they will be
before jos wedding
after my bad news on monday i wanted the stuff about jos wedding seprate so here is the story of my weekend.
i traveled down to devon from mums on friday where i met steph and ruths mum who took us to ruths house where all where waiting for us.
we had a grand old time giggling over dinner (well rouckus laghter would be closer) and walking up hills on dartmore brill. so much fun so good to see all the girls again some of which i have not seen for years and years.
when we got up there was a mad dash for the bathroom and genral astonisment at how short a time i took which was quite amausing.
got dressed far to quickly and was waiting around giving advice to the others as to their outfits although not very good at all that stuff. we all got very exsited.
made a packed lunch and jumped into cars headed off to truro to pick gordon up arrived over and hour early so entertained ourselves with african cards (most approperate)
was so good to see gordon i am missing him so much we have not had much time alown together this month i feel bereft. the grils all planed to jump on him and chickend out at the last minit which i am sure he was glad about :) although he did not know about the plan at the time.
pliled into cars again and went to jos house where we walked around for an hour the wedding to start
i traveled down to devon from mums on friday where i met steph and ruths mum who took us to ruths house where all where waiting for us.
we had a grand old time giggling over dinner (well rouckus laghter would be closer) and walking up hills on dartmore brill. so much fun so good to see all the girls again some of which i have not seen for years and years.
when we got up there was a mad dash for the bathroom and genral astonisment at how short a time i took which was quite amausing.
got dressed far to quickly and was waiting around giving advice to the others as to their outfits although not very good at all that stuff. we all got very exsited.
made a packed lunch and jumped into cars headed off to truro to pick gordon up arrived over and hour early so entertained ourselves with african cards (most approperate)
was so good to see gordon i am missing him so much we have not had much time alown together this month i feel bereft. the grils all planed to jump on him and chickend out at the last minit which i am sure he was glad about :) although he did not know about the plan at the time.
pliled into cars again and went to jos house where we walked around for an hour the wedding to start
what on earth is going on
monday last week. it all went to pot and this time a really mean it. i had two meetings the first one was with funders and i was late which was not the best but in the grand sceam of things not that big and deal.
but then after work we had a meeting about my future as sidewalk coordinator and i my one months notice was told i did not have to go back in other than to clear my desk and sent home. this sucks more than words can say.
i have worked hard i have done what i was employed to do to the best of my ablities but i feel like i have been left go because i would not do things that where not part of my job in the first place and because i am not load enough to build superfiasl realtionships off the bat. they seem to have really unrealistic exspections of what detached youth work should look like and how fast it should move. i am not saying i have not made mistakes but what i am saying is that i do not feel that things where going badly enough to get the sack. but then again where one door closes ten more open there will be something better for me unfortunalty i really need to find it in less than a month. :S
but then after work we had a meeting about my future as sidewalk coordinator and i my one months notice was told i did not have to go back in other than to clear my desk and sent home. this sucks more than words can say.
i have worked hard i have done what i was employed to do to the best of my ablities but i feel like i have been left go because i would not do things that where not part of my job in the first place and because i am not load enough to build superfiasl realtionships off the bat. they seem to have really unrealistic exspections of what detached youth work should look like and how fast it should move. i am not saying i have not made mistakes but what i am saying is that i do not feel that things where going badly enough to get the sack. but then again where one door closes ten more open there will be something better for me unfortunalty i really need to find it in less than a month. :S
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
EXERSIZE
feeling somewhat achy this eveing have been to the gym and to the beach today. we took the young people from the Y to the body pump induction at rodneys which was soooooo hard i have worked musels i did not know i had then i feel over on the way back to work afterwoulds.
in the afternoon we all went down to the beach which involved rock climbing scrabling through streams and genral hard work but it was good fun. so hey ho.
Gordons mum comes tomorrow
in the afternoon we all went down to the beach which involved rock climbing scrabling through streams and genral hard work but it was good fun. so hey ho.
Gordons mum comes tomorrow
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