this is a bit out of order but we all went out on the town on satuday night and had a good night all in all the last time this little group will be together for a long wile.

oooph

feeling it today my last two weeks have just begun gave neil my essay to have a look at hopefully he will think that it will pass and i wont have to see it again.
been very upset for most of the day partly due to the fact that the bbq that was going to be on my last friday had to be moved back to sunday and so i can't make it.
haveing problems with assurtiveness not really maniging the whole thing very well.
i am so tired i just wan to curl up in a little ball and sleep.
we are moving my stuff up on friday spoke to my landlady and she was quite happy with that so thats exsiting feels very weird in my room with most of my stuff packed away hummm all fun and games.

hummmmm

went on a very roundabout trip to tescos this morning vir three car dealerships all far to exspensive for me but now i know. the reasion i spent some time in these shops was because my essay was waiting for me at home.

i have been fairly good since and have started to restruckture this essay as well as the other stuff i have to do i hate this it is sooooooo hard soooo hard.

sob

i failed my knolige of God essay just found out this morning really, really gutted. i can't comprehend how i am going to get it done again i don't want to have to go through all the reading again.
and i don't have any chocolate.

Garden party inside

well our college garden party sorta fizzaled out because of weather as soon as it started the rain poored we played Giant Jenga inside and chatted as well as clearing out the charrity bit of the back of the common room much fun with a childs zilaphone which appeared again later in the meal and provided the music for our music quiz which was soooo funny you would not beleive.
Gient Jenga was fun up till the point that everyone went away and left me playing with this strange man who keept ascking me to go to his house for coffee was not comfortable with this and found out later he was making a habit of making the women in the college feel really unsafe.
the meal was good though choclate cake very good.
then i watched the first football match i have ever watched which was great fun particulay watching the boys getting really into it.
the problem being that i still hold the veiw that football devides people alot i mean look at the scottich english or worse the welsh english thing i mean i still have bad the memories of going to school after a welsh englsih game. and there is also all the rangers celtic stuff in glasgow which sucks but i guess alot of that isn't actualy about the game in itself it is all about history which also sucks history is there for us to learn from and not keep on making the same mistakes over and over again.

sooooooo tired again

it is tuesday and i have had a really long cupple of days.
starting on friday when i was debating weather i should go to crossover at all sitting on my bed both tired and headakey new it wasn't the best idea. but i did go in the end (the whole not wanting to let people down thing) had an okay time don't think i will go again though and it was a mistake to go this time i am suffering now.
sunday Gordon and i went to Perth to meet the landlady and landlord for the flat and sort out the deposit and stuff. it is really cool they are letting me stor my stuff up there for july for free which means i can move out of my college room and not pay rent on that.
came home and have not court up on rest since.
today got our results back from steve got a B :) which is really good went to the final service and did all sorts of things like that.

perth

i spent the day in perth yesterday woundering and looking at flats the up shot of which is that i have the ideal place to live initally when i get up there.
i arrived rediculosly early for my first veiwing but i didn't know where it was or how long it would take me to walk there i found the door and went and sat by the river to enjoy the sun and to read some of the stuff for my essay (go me).
the flat was well abit of a dump but thats because it was a bachola pad and i mean die hard bacholas. it was dark and the guy who was showing me around said he thought it was not the best place for me as there was a drug dealing living up stairs and they get people on the buzza at all times asking where he was.

then i went to see Elain at the Y and hand in my accespetants letter very exciting sat in their computer sweet and talked to the people there and enjoyed myself emencly. she walked me to the next flat who is rented by one of the YMCAs workers and his family who are moving. this was much nicer it is a fith floor flat so if i am good and don't constantly use the lift it will keep me fit has a balcony two bedrooms good size kichen and living room so i am going to try and get it i will meet the landlady on sunday gonna be a bussy weekend. what with cross over and all.

heads really not good this morning ouch to much time in the sun.

a good day

college was actualy quite good today we had a lady come in and teach us a load of refelctive stuff to do in our quite times and stuff it was really nice to take a bit of time out of the maddness and relaxs. amazing how stressed really.

then had the disscusion time with neil which was really intreasting think i am feeling alittle more confident but it still is a worring essay and topic in genral.

Frenzy

Saturday was very hard work but it was great fun in lots of way.
went into frenzy with neil and catrinora and helpt them set up the ICC stand which fun as we got all creative with the warped photos on the Imac the Neil had brought (later they had the attraction of taking and printing out more warped pictures hundreds of young people came although not so sure how many of them will be intrested in coming to the college they did bring their youth workers though which was good)had to take neil out to ratho adventure centre to get some seats for them.
was quite bord when the concert started though most people i new had not arrived yet. hooked up with Linda and Kat after Tim Huges was on Gordon came later i am afraid that i am guilty of neglecting Linda after that which was not the best.
we hung around and helpt neil and catroina by taking over from them so that they could go and get a breck.

had done the silly thing of commiting myself to go on the buddy bus after frenzy though which was not the best plan was serously dehydrated when we got back to the college but had an hour or so to sort that out. although was not well for a good part of that hour. but i pulled myself together and Gordon came with me which really helpt. it was an intresting evening blessedly quite for us had a detbate about christianity with a philosphy student and a real convosation about it with his friend.

Sunday in church was okay went home and dozed for a few hours and Gordon and i met up and had a drink in the sun and wandered round glasgow it was actualy a lovely afternoon from getting as it took me from feeling quite negitive and weepy (got teary over the Oringe march that had gone past the college) left Gordon feel really happy and possitive.

rotten day

i have had a few tough days this week monday got up and one disaster followed another followed another followed another till i was in tears by the end of the day. not much fun.
then i got up at 7 and started getting ready for our training program went down around 8 and started moving tables oh my goodness the tables in the bord room are heavy. Bonnie came abit later closly followed by Elaine and we worked hard till the class came in and we jumpt into the process of deleivering our program it went really well :-). and so did everyone elses prity sertain that all of us have passed which is good thats one hurdel closer to graduation one left the big essay arrrrg scary.
i am sure it should be more work than this somehow but i am not sure how.
after the presentation was done we grabd some quick lunch went to darrels class arrrrrrg once darrels class was over started printing out agendas for the evening meeting and colating them. if Linda had not saved me with some pizza i would not have eaten before the meeting.
the meeting was so hard i mean i was exsorsted and it was so warm but we got alot of things out of it i will write the mins up tomorrow today is reading for and writing the final essay

My highlighter has just run out :-(

i am cross my highlighter has just run out in the middle of an really intresting chapture of worshipping the trinity grrrrrrr.

oh well such is life i will just have to find or buy another one wont i :-)

had a lovley visit from elaine this morning about our assesment on tuesday bonnie couldn't make it again but she e-mailed her stuff so we are both feeling better about the hole thing.

mango

hummm i had a little treat i bought myself a two pack of mangos from tescos last night and eat one for my lunch today. but i am slightly worried that now i am making regula trips to the loo. i do hope that this does not mean i am somehow elurgic to mangos i don't think i could cope sob.

this as you can tell had been a very dull day of prep college stuff and other such fun.