insperation

possibley have some insperation as to what i might end up doing but wont say to much see if things work out but feeling quite chipper today which is good.

had coffee with neil w who is back in the uk but not for long by the sounds of things but it was very nice to see him and think of the better times at the y so thats good.

the walls are closing in

went to the job centre today. not much fun but had to be done the two main things i needed i did not have which is a big annoyance because i am still waiting on other people for them.

arrrrrrrrg

fed up

having a bit of a ruff morning medication making me feel not so well which does not help. but the annoying thing is that this guy keeps phoning me. he used to live in my flat and apparently is looking at moving back to perth so he wanted to know when i was moving out which i told him to bugger off to. this was very rude and insensertive so i am sorry if you know this guy but i think that most people will understand why i am annoyed.

interveiw scaryness 1

my interveiw in noth berwick went okay i think i am not sure that they will offer it to me though the other candidate was older and male and i suspect thats what they are looking for.
very tired need to go away and pray about it because it may be the right place for me i could sertainly do the job.

feeling a bit parlaised i don't want to end up in the wrong place but i don't want to miss the right place because its a bit outside my comfort zone or even in this case looks like it may be a bit back in my confort zone.

feeling the burn

tuesday did two shifts at the restraint which was cool learned how to use the card money stealer machems and the till properly also leaned how to make basic coffee which was cool although anything more complicated than that still scares me.

genna left early on the night shift well not early for her she had been on since 5 but it was still quite dounting but it was okay no one asked for coffee and there was only one case of advanced maths with someones bill.

had to pull myself out of bed yesterday morning because gordon had left some stuff in the boot of my car. or so we thought but neither of us thought to check till i got down there opend the big box that was still in my boot to find that it was empty arrrrg. went and got a small desk for his friday group so the trip was not totaly waisted although was so tired

went to the doctor in the afternoon she put me on anti depresants but i guess that was on the cards whatever hope they help.

i luv my little brother

i had a very intesting convo with someone at my work about disorders
more spifacly mine (Asperger syndrome and number of others)
it opened my eyes up to a lot of intersting stuff that i have now forgotn :P
but what it did make me think most about is that everyone has these disorders in a way just some (like me) show it more then others
and that i have never if i never give up i will always do better then anyone else as i aproce things at a diffant angle to everyone else

Antony Cowley


this is something my little brother put on his blog recently i thought it was quite profound particualy for him the man obsessed with spoons (you need to read his blog to understand)

friends are good

went to bridge of allan yesterday and met up with Josh, Rachel, Chris and Louise. we all trooped out to a italian which was slightly exspensie for what it was but had nice enough food all the same. and was a good place for the banter to begin.

then we went for a long drive Gordon took the wheel which was good because i got to look at the pritty veiw and point out intresting sheep but i think slightly stressful for him because Chris is his current driving instructor so even though he was in the car it ment he felt a bit nervous much fun.

we went up to a little pub which apparently was quite nice although we arrived and it was closed so we just went back to josh and rachels and eat pudding which was best really. we looked at josh and rachels wedding photos and then gordon pulled up the onse that he had tacken of chris and louises wedding much oooowing and aring all very good.

had a heavy debate about hell and weather or not it exists (it does) and genraly it was a nice time

had to leave gordon at the station which sucked.

angry so angry

the studpid ymca have still not sent me my p45 so i can not go into the job centre tomorrow and clam my benifits i am so angry i think i may exsplode.

they also have not sent me the reports or given back my heater. arrrrrrrg

back to basics

well it has been another eventful few days.
i have now got two confurmed interveiws yay although the last one phoned up at 10:45 on thursday night. they where luky i wasn't in bed already yikes.
Gordon and I had been to see 28 weeks later which was horrid i hated it but i don't partcualy like horror films so there we go i can see for what it was it was alright although gordon said it was not as good as the first one.

yesterday after a whole heap of running around with gordon i started my part time job at the restrant.

felt very nevrous and quite out of it for most of the night only 4 years since i used to do it all the time and restrant waiting it very different to eventing. but am getting there and con seemed to be pleased with the eve so we shall see. doing tuesday lunch and dinner next week. this unfortunatly means that i can't go to my house group any more which really really really sucks.

eventfull

well the last few days have been pritty eventful!! i went to this church on sunday and decided that i would give it a shot and so i will phone them tomorrow and let them know and see if they want to go further with me.
yesterday i went to cons for lunch which was lovley although con had to leave leaving me and adrean to have a chat about the whole depressing process of getting benifits. but wile we where talking about all that he phoned us up and said might i consider working in his restrant part time. which would be a bit of a laugh and would get me out of the house. so today went down to the citz advice and asked about the amount i am aload to work and still get benifits which is less than 16 hours and you arnt alload to earn more than £81 in any one week shocking.

so we are looking at weather this will work for the restrant.
than i came home to find an e-mail inviding me to an interveiw for the north berwick christian youth trust. i am quite hopeful about this although i know that i am up against two other people who probly have not been fired from their last job.

ooops and shocking

well i have been relably misinformed today much fun i went to the gateway church where i have never been before and had a wee bit of trouble finding to go to this conferance with the YWAM guy i was quite looking forward to it.

but it was disapointed to find that i had the wrong week ooooops

then i came home vir curryes with the caretaker of the church went and looked at camreas with him which was a nice bit of light releaf.

the shocking thing today was i got a letter for Kirki babitsed church saying that they cannot look at my application for their youth minister job because i would need to become an elder and to be a elder in this church i need to be a man which clearly i am not shocking (they did say they where looking at that policy but haddn't really yet) am quite disapointed as the job did sound good.

final

so i went into the YMCA this morning gave back the equipment and stuff and got my books and things back. it was okay feeling a bit low though which is possibley not good.

intresting thing is that they where not sure weather or not they had written reports of the things that lead to my dissmisal. but anyhow we shall see.

i think it went well

well the discusion went well. i really like the idea of this job but will have to give it some thought and prayer.

infact thats what i have been sent off to do and i am to talk to the pastor again on wenesday and see if we are thinking along the same lines.

excited

i have just had a very exciting phone call!!!!!!!!! a minister from a local church has just rung me to say that they are looking for a youth and comuntiy worker and may be intrested in hireing me. we are meeting tonight which is very cool and we shall see where it goes from here but even if it goes no where it is a bit of a boost to my spirets which is really something that i needed

spiderman 3

after a day of running about doing slightly frustraiting things which we shall not get into. Gordon and i went to see spiderman 3 in livingston yesterday it was exerlant i really thuraly enjoyed it. Gordon seemed to think that they had tryed to do to much with the story but i don't agree i think the different plots where all done very well. and the action seens where awesome which is good.

we arrived a bit early so we went into pizza hut and had icecream factory and drinks which supprised our waitress but hey it wasn't very bussy so she wasn't bothered.

i have the day to myself today

its funny

isn't it strange i have been so busy for the last few months and have not had any time to update my blog and now that i have loads of time on my hand i am updating it relitivly regulay but i have very little to put on it. but i guess part of my resoning for keeping the thing is so that i can look back myself as well as keeping people aware of what i am up to in my life.

anyway what have i been doing the last few days went to see gordons friends from drumchaple on saturday. which was nice. although the time before it was very frustraiting and though no one fault other than the people who maintain the forth road bridge. gordon could not get up here on his own steam even though he spent three hours trying he only ended up just on the other side of the bridge in roysth so i had to go and get him.

went to the nazereen yesterday it was a good service the preaching was very relivant which was good.

eeek tired

goodness i mean when you are free of responserbilites (apart from sorting out the rent and bills eeek) people will always find things to fill up your time. :P you know who you are Gordon

spent yesterday in broxburn and i mean all day i got up at 6 to try and get there for 7:40 i had forgotten what it was like to get up at 6 i mean it was okay when you where at school and had to do it most days (although it may have been a course of some of my illness). the annoying thing is that even though i left rediucaly early missing my chance to vote i did not get there in time which ment a lot of hassels for Gordon and his team today this was due to crazyness on the forth road bridge and me takeing another route because at least i would only be 20 minits late as aposed to two hours late if i stayed on the bridge.

but the long and short of it is that we missed picking up the young people that we needed to pick up no young people came to the school breckfast club and it was all a bit of a waist of time.

then we went to his office he is so bad at deligating i sat and read my book (arther and george which i would recomend if you are inbetween books at the mo) interposed by nipping out to get becon rolls doing some gilerteening and the odd hug :) (the best bit)

i then drove or let Gordon drive around the primary schools to drop off leaflets and stuff leaving him as the school for a meeting. and then went and got his car from the garige what fun because he has not yet passed his test it ment that i had to go in my car pick his car up leave my car get a taxi back and pick up my car on later reflection i think i should just have got a taxi there and saved some petrol but you just do as your told at the time don't you.

Gordon was delayed in the school so i went to the country park to read untill he came out still spent far to much time sitting outside the school but it is quite fun to watch the group dynamics of secondary school kids i just hope i didn't look to weired.

we went to the country park again it being such a lovley day and i was draged up and down hills because i needed the happy hormons to start pumping (humph)

the fanal part of the work day was a meeting with the youth night guys which was long. it needed to be long admitdly but when you have been going all day particualy when you have just been the chauffeur all day and not much else you might want to go home.

thats not where it ended though gordon then said i have no food will you take me to the shop and get some no remeber we are now heading for ten at night and the only shop open in 15 min drive in the wrong direction arrrrrrg sucker me said okay and eneded up walking around asdas until ten. well i didn't get home till 11:30 so am nackered.

have to go into the y today and pick up my stuff and hand over the stuff that still at my flat this is a scary prospect.

had a hair cut

i got a hair cut today it was really badly needing it and i could not possibley go to interveiws with it in the stat it was in. it looks okay alittle short maybe but hey.

thats about it life is still prity dull have not heard from any new jobs or got any interveiws yet but we have to stay possitive really