still madness gave up trying to do work an came to go to the cinima Harry Porrter was sold out till 7:50 so i am going to see the day after tomorrow before and linda is gonna join me for harry potter after that and then i am staying at the college till tomoz which is nice.

maddness i can't find my bible the one which i write in which means that it makes it orfely hard to do my homework for tomorrow which is read mark and highlight diffrent ways Jesus talk to diffrent people. I also can't find a phone number which is most anyoing seem to have deleted all e-mails from this person as well so not starting out to be the most orgnaised of days.

YF was load today ouch. But good they really get into controvershal subjects like the oclut (which was tonights) it is so good that they feel that they can share within the group.
not sure what to do with myself now bt high to try and sleep. go and read a book or something i should. Really could do with someone to talk too and bounce about with in that sort of mood.

humm just got back from church and the internet guy has sent me a link to a thing called church off fools it a vertual church with services and everthing.
anyway besides playing with silly computers i have been a bissy bee with finishing the last essay that i have to write this year and preparing my YF for tonight have to do some drama at church.
the exstreem force thing which is painful truly painful.
never mind have discovered that going home will be imposible till after heart and soul after all but such is life.
well thats me really church was church and life is life gonna go and finish my prep.

I really badly need to get my hair cut really badly wounder what new and exsiting thing i will deside to do with by monday when i go to one of the many salons in cathcart and get it done moday is a day off it will be a day off it will it will oh not it can't have another assement meeting pooh pooh pooh why has it suddenly become impossible to find time to rest were has all that wounderful free time gone. on the good side if i get this next essay finshed today and do this meeting that means by wenesday i will be free from assement presure and can just ride the wave till the end of the year yay. Praise God

went to Y friday last night was slightly dissapointed with the poor turn out from college.
Y-Friday was exerlant love it came out feeling better than when i went in. although i would critise the way the heart and soul people talked for ten minits and did their video thing in the middle of the gig not very profesional i thought i mean they should of done it at the beging or the end if they were gonna do it or not at all really since we went to hear music. I know they need people to go but it really started to turn me off going before the girl had finished and i am going.
had a camp meeting this morning which was okay stayed at the college last night so i didn't need to get up to early which was good. head hurts now mind which is not the best.

silly market resurch people always after my time i think they see me coming and think good nice girl will nab her. well it's just tacken me half and hour to get through them all I don't know one after another after another. am at the college about to do some work humph well i guess it dosn't happen that offten.
hehehehe

Good day went to the park again this afternoon and had a great time pushing girls on a swing even though they din't need to be pushed at all so minamal effort but is nice just to spend time with them.
think i suprised one of the other leaders today by the way i handled the volitile tempars of some of the young people mind just cose i speak nicely dosn't mean that i am all that sheltered.
And do you know I like the attention just as much as the kids do so working with them and this goes for the Cathcart bunch and giving them the attention that i can give them means that i get the attention that i like having guess it all comes from wanting to be on the stage and that basic human need for others. feeling warm and fuzzy

wow its amazing i have been so bissy today and yet i can say that i am not overley tired. amazing thats a frist.
how my first pastoral session with Wilma this morning it was great we sat and chatted and found out stuff about each other and drank hotchaoclate in the collest little restraint called choclate heaven which is just that really nice cakes i am telling you really nice.
then had my assment with Steve for Paisly which was cool felt Ros probly didn't critisie me anoth i mean how am i gonna learn new stuff if people don't show me were to go but then again maybe i truly didn't make to meny mistakes.
then we took the kids to the park to dissapered after being monsters and we told their perants that they ahd run off and so resighnd responsibliaty for them then we played with these huge balls with our one remaining girl who actualy started to shine out the presance of the others was so chuffed.
had to train it as car is still bust and will be till next week ho hum
its been a good day

Just had a good moment worked out how to put the links back on my blog which had gone when i changed the style with alittle help from Andy who i have been having an MSN convo across the room most funny.
oh and by the way college despite the bad parts like losing my purse. and oh oh oh I got a B and the last Essay i rote i am so happy about that since i thought for sure i had failed it.

Do you know I relised something today and it is not particaly nice. genaly not the best when you find out thing about yourself that i just not nice. I guess i new about it before but just ignored it. It is that i am so prowd and narrow minded that i forget about other peoples needs and wants and focus only on my own. If anyone who is reading this has exseranced this horrible part of my personality I am sorry and will be trying to make it up. Luckly for me as for other people I hae a Gracefull God who tells you about the bad things in you and then helps you learn how to not be them even if it takes forever. anyhow on that cheerful note i will finish love you all think your all great.

JYF went well tonight which is a releife. although not particulay inspartional. it would be nice mind if once we didn't have one of the membrs bursting into tears on us. humm tricky it seems however cheerful my message is (like tonights you can do it) someone still starts crying.

just been writting a very long essay but nearly at the end finishing tuches then read though and all done and onto the next one gonna get both finished so that i don't have to worry about them anymore and can feel sum stress leave my body. yay
what a fun life i do lead.

well my life what a bussy weekend.
went to town Friday and meet Noelle and Steph we eat at a Japanees restront all something like wagamungas it was lovely and so nice to sit and chat Noelle knows alot about food so we had a good gide through all the goodies on the menu.
then Noelle and I went back to Stephs wile she went to a uni friends party. well we chatted till steph came home then we had a sing song which was most fun as steph had written out most of the songs from Uganda.
next day we ran for the train to largs but missed it and went to another cost town and another island got sunburnd slightly walking around and put flowers in our hair hehe arnt we girlee.
eat lunch in a coffee shop which was the best and missed the ferry then nearly missed the next one as steph desided to run on ahead of us and get postcards?????? so i stood on the ferry wile Noelle waited on the dock leaving them behind would not of been to bad but steph made it so all was fine.
we split up in paisly they wanted to find the YWAM base there and I went to the battle of the bands which was good although the sound man did not do the bands justice. almost colapsed from exsorstion so left before the end and sleeped.
Had church came home sleept again did YF and sleept feeling much better after all that sleep.

well madness so tired so will blog better tomorrow if i have time but (to coin a phrase) God has totaly blessed me this weekend seeing Noelle and Steph we have had such a good time runing for trains running for ferryes and so forth wish there was more time to spend.
battle of the bands went off really well it is all good. head hurts ears rining have red face from the sun sleep know talk later.

Have had a nothingness morning done lots but feel like i have done nothing and have so much left still to do it is really rather depressing almost makes me wish i wasn't going to see Noelle and Steph thiseving and spend the day with them tomorrow almost. no i am really looking forward to seeing them it will be such good fun. eeeek need to get going so much to do so little time in which to do it all. arrrrrg

playing cheekers with my bro onl;ine most fun. had a really good day really tired but satisfiyed for once with my work at paisly which is good.
he just gave up on acount of me beating him into the ground ses it becasue mums shouting don't beleive him one inch. never mind bro one day they will put chess on and then you will beat me into the ground.
anyhow like i was saying fairly good day. the kids really liked circus skills and thought my balloon creations were fair which was good they were most impressed with the fact that i could do all these things without being in the curcus hobbys pay off it seems. yay

it shouldn't amaze me how much people change over time anymore but it does. I have been looking at photos of Andy one of my young people whos family i am staying with at the mo from before i come and he has changed so much but that is to be exspected he is still a young person. But it got me onto thinking about my friends and how much we must off changed. I mean take my school friend Dan (hey dan if your reading this) at school he was often ill really overwhight and the lovest guy around now he is not ill ever as far as i know slim and hunky (see i am nice arnt i) and even more of a lovely person. then there is the team i went to Uganda with it would take me mounths to list how all of them have changed after just seeing them for a few hours. now i wounder how much i have changed within myslef i wounder what it would be like to look though one of my old friends eyes at me. I also wounder how much the people i have fairly day to day contact with have changed to the people who new them before because we all change and effect each other wow isn't God amazing because it is really him doing all the changing and him who is putting you near the people who ar influancing you and and vise a versa wow. gonna stop rambaling but end with this last though how much to we effect the lives of people we only have a small amount of contact with people like shop attendace and waiter people like thoughs who sell the big issue? Do you think that we can change a life in less than a minit possibly not but we might make a day better.

i have a very strange fanominon going on here when i click the veiw blog link it somes up with some quite out of date posts and none of my more resant stuff but when i type in my blog adress maniualy then i see that the hole thing is working properly any clues why this might be happening?

just had a man come into my room and clib out of my window onto the roof.
this stange behaviour was not due to him having suisidel tendencyes at least he came back in after a bit he was a block cleaning the chimny but it made me feel quite unsettled so i went downstars till he had finished and gone.
watched vegie tales with steve this morning very good fun.

having a rotten day burst into tears early this afternoon which mean that the smallest thing sends me off crying for the rest of the day.
the origanl resions for bursting in tears was that i was in a meeting and it all just got to much because they were giving me information which it was hard to process.
processing things is getting harder i guess it is all about comeing to the end of the frist year and having a rotten week last week it will get better and i will servive. so ho hum the wind and the rain.

so tired have been on the go all day and if five minits need to be on the go again. good news about the flat happend though it is all gonna be fine and dandy and hopefully i will be in by the end of the frist week in june. but i shall not get my hopes up to high as it was said that it would be by easta.
now its time to go and do the final tuches to YF before I face the hords. :-)

went to see troy with others today very good film. then did youth cafe which was fun took the juggling stuff in made lots of random shapes with the balloons and no dodgy shapes which i was quite impressed by we had the largest numbers for a long time which was encoriging but only two leaders so we ewre both run off our feet for the intire evening.

well as you can see i got bord today and started messing round with my blog should have been looking for stuff for my YF on sunday but oh well i will do that in a bit.
so now i have a conter thingy and a tag bord thingy so that people can talk on here bit worred about the level of sadness i am showing at the mo oh well just keep swimming

had a good night a paisly brock up a fight just to have the boys in question at it again almost at once. this was over who would get first bat in the game of rounders that we were playing. it was all fun and gmaes considering this was a grils night and the boys were only playing because they happend to be on the field when we got there.

got back from paisly not the best night ever the Girls didn't come for the group so no need to worry about messing up with the circus stuff. and the boys put three nails in three diffrent tyres i had to be brought home by the AA not the best at all.
But i guess such is life. although i am alittle concrened that now they know that it is fairly easy to get under the bonet of my car eeeek.
Total drama happend though as the police come and took one of the boys away wile we were waiting for the AA this was because he was not behaving the night before.
have hayfever as well need anti hysamens but can't get any till the morning.
so genraly feeling quite low hopefully it will all look better in the morning.

Got my new juggling stuf this morning just in time phew so working hard to get all thoughs rusty skills back up to scrach before tonight it should be fun. I havn't done a workshop since the last christmas i spent at home more than a year ago bit scary and that was in balloons. eeek why did i offer to do this again?

had a talk with With Steve about life work and assesments it's all good he is a lovley man.
am woundering around ranbomly abit not sure what to do should be studying but so not in the mood to do that no real point since gotta go into kens in a bit oh well such is life still havn't worked out why college is weired.

I am having such a good week last night J YF were owsame they were stars entered into the discusion didn't do all the things that anoy me so much and were just great.
Having a bit of a weired day at college not sure why it feels wired it just does maybe its because its a study day but don't think so maybe because it's my frist study day since not living at the college strange.

The YF last night was brill we were talking about worship but then we got onto spritual gifts and had the best conversation about them what they are how we get them. they want more stuff on this next week which is really cool so loooking forward to next week.

Oh my life so so tried think I have had less than 6 hours sleep since i last blogged. but am still awake.
Maryes party was brill bouncing on boncy castles in a resently contructed barns upper floor which i mean recently contructed like finish minint to spare. all good of course since we were all damsels bocy castles were quite intesting on the hole showing alittle to much thigh side never mind we all ended up right at the end of the eving getting changed so we could really play.
It was so good to see the girls again they or you if it is one of you reading this have all changed to much how wounderful it is to see people after such a long time and see that that time has improved apon a masterpeace. Although I think that meeting more regualy would be a good idea.
fell aspleep on the train and ended up feeling quite sick by the time i got home but have battled though YF and am now contomplating a nice warm room with a nice warm bed and a good long sleep.

hot and sticky but happy.
all my new circus stuff is coming on tuesday just in time for my next workshop yay i have made friend with the nice man from the shop you have to i have spocken to him so much the past cupple of days as he and i messed up in the order department.

on the down side some boys stoll my brothers phon and sent me some very abusive Text messeges i new it wasn't ant but i was very upset by the hole thing they were getting quite prsonal. urk

Hotmail is rubbish it want let me get to my e-mails which is very vexing. I don't know the hole system has been playing up for the past cupple of days what is it with computers internet and such like not working why can nothing ever work properly sometimes i wish for the days of no comunication apart from handing you post to a person who was heading in the right direction and hopeing at lest that way you didn't get frustraited when things didn't work/ although the telliphone is quite a good idea maybe we should put all our money into maing teliphone better and make it free and then we would all be happy gonna stop rambling now as it is getting very silly.

Have super pain in the head. and a stupid flate tyer well both things can be fixed. I am sooooo looking forward to the weekend going down to Manchester to see all my bestest best friends in the hole world it is so exsiting i wish tomorrow was today and we were all together already. but sadley it all will end far to soon as i have to be back at church sunday to do YF in the evening oh well life goes on and we will have the best time till then.

have been sitting in my room all day feeling slightly nervose about essays to write but not doing anything of any real vaule towards getting them written to tired. Went to Bills to drop off some paper work and got cort in the rain which was a pain and a half i don't know silly me.
Just had dinner with the gran of the family that i am staying with she is a nice lady.
Pheona and i sat and worked out stuff that i might need for the flate and there is alot of stuff the main problem is that we don't know what is going to get left behind and whats not that is a project for next week ho hum it's hard life isn't it.

hummm still sick doing things i shouldn't like going into town and trying to go to work i know i should be resting i know before anyone else tells me off. I don't know it is just hard to take time off when you know that there is so much to do.
College libary as Kat and i discovered today does not have half the books that we need to write the essays that are coming up oops. she was off to complain when i left college today. arms feel like lead wights quite strange when typing going to sleep now. bye

tryed to go the college today but failed the virose type thing i have concored and it didn't take much of a push from Linda and Suzi to get me to go home. so i lasted all of 5 min which was fun going to sleep now don't rember the last time i had to sleep during the day not good not good at all.

feeling rotten have been since yesterday so have basicly spent the day in and around my bed which is sad since it was a nice day and so forth. never mind church was okay yesterday Wilma challenged the congratgtion with someting like 'just because you come to church it does not make you a chirstian' i was ready to go all penticostel and cheer but i think that have been discomunicated (if you can do that in a CofS) anyhow it was good then we took to YF to the cript at queens park baptic it was a good service andvery diffrent to what they are used to we are all gonna talk it over next week.

urk i think i am coming down with a cold urk apart from that fairly cheery if aperlutly exsorsted was supposed to go to the cinima last night with people from college i woke up in the morning and just new i was not gonna be feeling well enough after work to go and it would off been silly to stay over anyhow as i would have to come back to cathcart frist thing to have my supervisers meeting which was arranged last minit and then go back again to go to loch lomond which is our little trip today os jolly good sort of wish i could just lye in bed all day i am so tried you would not beleive i need a breack i think don't think i am gonna get one though.