teen theam

i am just listening to radio 4 and they are talking to someone from the natinal youth theater. and this year is the 50th aniversary of the term teenager.
he said something like....
'blow it lets go for it, we've got them lets flaunt them'
this has made my day teenagers are all great!!!

talk talk talk talk talk and more talk

wow i don 't think that i have stoped talking today it has been intresting.
went to see the research nurse this morning for the self help sessions to help with my depression. and that was all talk.
then i came back and talked to Gordon about Jobs really not a safe subject at the moment but never mind whats a few tears i mean all the salt that runns down my face must be good for my complection.
then i went out with eliane for a hot choc and chatted we also went shopping or window shopping although i did by some three for two novels and a new ink catridge.
then i met with my new superviser denies who used to work with gordon out in drumchaple and was in chris's year so it was nice meeting her and talking with her. quite relaxed.
then talked to gordon again. then came up the stairs to find joy and catrinor talking and talked to them landed myself in more work which was intresting oh well.

long weekend

i got my room cleaned or at least desent and started on my travels on friday which was good had a nice quite cupple of hours on the tain playing pecaboo with varouse small children and the like.
Gordon got on the last train so we also got half and hour together before getting in which was lovley.
then when mum had picked us up we got ant out to the frount of the house and jumped out at him soooooo much fun. he was so pleased :) liked his presant to. we went kiacking (see ant didn't call it canooing this time) which was also great fun Gordon fell in more than me so feeling smug. saw ant with his friends doing something he loves which was the point and felt really good for doing a bit of exersize.
went to the back doc the next day and he told me off for verouse things and did verouse other things that made me saw have to go back and see him when i get home again urg.
Gordon ant and i chilled out the rest of the day which was nice. Gordon and i went for a walk in the rain to get out of the house for a bit.
sunday was alittle made as we forgot to put the clocks forward. Gordon had to go back home because he needed to be with his church as someone very close to him died in the week and he wanted to be there to see people. but because of the clocks it meant that we left an hour after we should have oops. we got him there but i gave up on the idea of getting to my church for the second time. so mum and i took a more lesurly pass getting back.
It must have been God because we arrived in Rushden only 15 minits into the service and i got to go. which was so wounderful i am so glad. although it makes me remeber how much i miss them all. the servece was lovley it was just the right message for me that morning. Talking to everyone afterwoulds was a blessing as well Bill and Keith prayed for me which put me in tears. their faith is amazing i only hope that one day i will have half of what i see in the people in that church.
i messed up meeting with my friend text messages are all well and good but they can confuse things is the moral of that story. but it all worked out for the best meant that Gordon came which was sad point number one as he didn't think he could manage it at the time we had planned. and it meant that we got more time together as dan would have had to leave at 8 and we were only meeting at 7. sooooo good to see Dan and Gen :).
monday the joruny up was quite uneventful. it probley wasn't the best plan but i went with G to broxburn when we got to edingbough. we had an okay evening but ended up in tears combination of being to tired and not erally wanting to leave him.
genraly a good weekend.

ouch head

my head is killing me but what else is new its sorta been a stressful week so i guess thats why.
trying to bring myself to the point where i can clean my room so that i know that i want have a note under my door saying i need to clean it when i get back but serouly have no engergy to do anything again roles eyes.

last essay of the term phew

bit of a dull day today got up and wrote my final essay which was not fun but it is now done. admitadly it will deff not be the best essay i have ever written but it is in and now i can have a bit of a proper holiday.

on the job front i am going to go and have a look around a project in south lanackshire but through looking at their web-site found out that thats where rhonda forbes works chrises wife. the last time i talked to her she was not enjoying it so will see if i can get in contact with her and ask what she thinks about me working there if i deside to go ahead and apply after going next week.
going to relaxs now

shopping theopy

well i didn't get the Job at St Thomas' which sucks i am really really gutted.
so i went out and have had some retail theopy i now have 12 cabries cream eggs and am going to watch some good films to take my mind off the hole thing.

interveiw scaryness 3

well i had the second interveiw for st thomases yesterday and what a day it was. started of having not a very good nights sleep and regreating not tacking some nightall to help with that. woke up about every two hours worried that i had overslept. eek
then got on the bus which arrived early so walked up and down outside the church for a wile before i went in.
had a very nice greeting the guy on the door took me through to were people were having coffee and introduced me to some people felt alittle more confident after that and was invited to sit next to a guy who was a secondary school teacher and quite intresting in church. the service was great they had a worship band that were very gifted at leading worship felt much better after that and the sermon was really good as well so all in all got quite alot out of the service.
then the rector and the tween time youth worker took me to lunch at a local holiday inn had a very nice rost beef and mustard sandwigde.
the actual interveiw was scary they asked me to go strait into the presentation which was horrid as i had not relaxed even a alittle think it would have gone better if i had done it at the end. there were six people interveiwing me one young person lots of people from the actual youth work in the church and one perfesional youth worker who works for youth link. he asked me some supper hard questions. i think i did okay but like said supper nervouse so i don't know if i made a good enough impression.
we shall see the Rector said that i would be in the know in two or three days so we shall see i wanna know now!!!!!!!!
Chris and Louise came over to see me and Gordon after all this which was lovley although i couldn't have been very good company as i was totaly exsortsted. then i went to the YF and i think the young people thought i was pritty cool but you never can tell.
chris and lousie gave me a life home i curled up in bed and slept pritty fast.

Nervouse

well i have this interveiw tomorrow which i am feeling quite nervy about i think i have invested so much into it that i have now freacked myself out. i mean what if it all goes terribly wrong tomorrow and i don't get the job or what if it is not the right place aftter all.
what if i fluff up the presentation what if what if.
the joy of the last formal interveiw that i had was that i didn't have much time to worry about it now that i have had a few weeks to simmer in my own jucies i am soooo scared.

never mind Gordon and I had a good day although my mood does not seem to be very stable at the moment and my mind all over the shop and well memory what is that. was very sad to have to leave him tonight but i guess thats always the case but it is even worse saying goodbye and him not coming out to the bus stop with me. (he wasn't being mean he had work which was on the other side of town)

unpleasant day at school

well i was not feeling welcome when i walked through the door of the school this morning i mean there was me haveing dragged myself to bed and fought the wind to come in to school. i had actualy been looking forward to it as i had a job to do for a change i have been helping this girl who has been bullied to the point that she is hiding in a room on her own doing her work.
I arrived at the school and went to put my bag away and talked to the girl before going to anounce my presanse to the support base staff well all the ladies faces droped when they saw me and i was told that i was not really wanted. i said that i would just sit and help the girl any way and they were fine for me to be seen and not heard humph.
did games in su this week which was good. although the young people where abit pants at wink murder.
disscusion group this afternoon quite looking forward to it.

arrrrrrrrrrrrg

well today at college has been long.
the morning class was okay if alittle dull could see the point in it. then neil helpt me get some video clips for my presentation on sunday which was really nice.
then we had our lovley lunch but of course really could not enjoy it all that much because we had to go back up to class.
although was in tear laughing at grame wile we talked about monti python.
class this afternoon well i am so cross about it i want even try to exsplain it but it was basicly so pointless and dull that we really really considered not going back as a class. it was just ken telling us his life story again which was all well and good but we have hurd about it over and over again and although his daughters are great it is honistly not the best when he talks about them constantly in class it really really really boils me up we could have used this afternoon for so much more important stuff.

sleep is good

had a bit of a long day yesterday but it was not bad.
got up and went downstairs to get a bacon role for my breki and found the first years meeting to discus video stuff for camp i talk to them for a bit and came back up to write my essay.
handed in two yesterday yay one to go!!!!
then went to see the nurce to see if i could join this self help group that they are doing reasuch on in the gps that went well. ment i didn't get to much of the afternoon class though which was a shame.
went to see the Patons and co which was really really nice havn't seen them in soooo long.
then came home and did a genral ring around mum nan gordon and went to bed.
reding memoirs of a geisha at the moment it is a highly recomended book i can't put it down.

the internet is back!!!!!!

we have not had internet upstairs since thursday night it is now tuesday yay it is back it is back yay.

so now have 26 e-mails not including the junk and some research to do before i can hand in my essay this afternoon

it snowed on sunday which was brill i walked to church it felt so far really hard work but relly good fun waiding through 5inches of untoched snow for most of the way.

then yesterday we built a snow man with the kids they so didn't know how to make a snow man trying to pat snow onto the ball i was rolling 'no roll it' was the refrain of the night. it was halerouse the leaders wanted to be out in the snow more than the kids did we made chris go in with the kids who really could not stand it any more as he is from aberdeen and so has had ample oppertunity to play in the snow in his youth. the boys soacked me with snow balls and we had much hularity all round.
we had a serously mellow night for the rest of it drawing pics and playing dodge ball.
had a good convo with one of the young people about his cell group at home :)

interveiw scaryness 2

had another informale interveiw this afternoon. don't think they liked me but they said that would get in contact with me over the next few weeks for a proper interveiw.
i went into it knowing nothing about them and they knew nothing about me not the best way to start really.

have been sitting around not doing much since i got back i know i should be writting essays but am exsorsted.
although have food again which is a possitive thing in my life.
going to start on some of this mountin of reading that i have waiting for me now.

oscas

the lion the which and the wardrob only got 1 how sad is that should have won all the onse it was in and more oh well can't account for tast. :)
walis and gromit got best animated which rocks

violent exit

not off me but off my food was up chucking all afternoon yesterday serverly dampend my inthusasum for study didn't get much done and had to miss srg hope it went okay.

this morning had class felt really bad because the leacture came in and had obevesly been quite hurt by our feedback forms we had a disscusion which was okay.

now sitting and trying to write essay obvesly not motivated as i am sitting here blogging at the same time.

no show

we were supposed to be taking the young people to catylist tonight but non of them turned up so oh well Joy and I had a prayer time and went to our varouse spaces to chill out. abit sad that i didn't get to go but thats life. spent the eve watching sopy tv and weaping at it.
church was okay this morning not much else to talk about today

first draft

got the first draft of my essay done yay 2088 words will redraft it tomorrow but yay although it took a day locked in my room to finish it.

curry night

well hada really good day yesterday went to school and got some young people talking about Jesus and actualy being intrested yay.
then in su one of the young people gave their testomny and honistly was almost in tears by the end was such a powerful story exerlant.
disscusion group didn't happen again grrrrrrr.
but the curry night was really really good much halarity over air hooks and getting new spirt level bubbles yay oh and so many blond jokes.
was so exsorsted by the end of it though.
spent most of this morning in bed and when i finaly got out of bed and had a shower got a phone call from St Thomas's i am being called back to another interveiw on the 19th he said it would be another informal one i am not really sure what this means does it means that i am gonna be meeting people one last time and they will let me know from that or are they gonna make me meet people and then have a formal interveiw this will make it a very grewling process. but i have been talking to other people and record for the most interveiws for one job in the church so far is 4. really really hope i don't have to go through 4 to get this job but if i do i will.

streched

wow today is abit of a mad day college and stuff during college then prep the line maniger meeting then group then a outing for one of the young peoples 18th.
think that ses it all really very tired thinking about not going to school tomorrow but then i feel guilt because i have not been as dedicated to that part of the ministry that i am involved in. huph not sure

Informal Interveiw

yesterday i got a phone call from the Rector at St Thomas's and we arranged to meet this morning for a drink and an informal chat about the youth work job at his church. well i think it went well he asked alot of questions it was quite intresting to visit the place and find out abit about the church. but must not get onse hopes up i think i would like to go there though.
feeling very stressed out now though it was a bit full on Grodon and i had munch after which was lovely just nice to get a hug and talk about it face to face with him as aposed to over the phone.
the Rector said he would phone and maybe arrange a formal interveiw in a few weeks time didn't like the maybe but i can't see why they wouldn't interveiw me the guy seemed to like me enough.
ooooh don't you just hate after an interveiw when you go back over it and think of all the things you should have said or should have said differently. gonna chill out for an hour and then write my managment essay.