Past and Future

Its been a mad few weeks but then I always say that don't I? I guess I lead a mad life but then who doesn't.

Well since I last posted a few thing have happened we all went down to the youth work conference (or is it across Geography never my stronge point that is unless you count knowing how glashers work) which was good. had a bit of a spiritual renancence when i was there which was great. Although I didn't get much out of it on the youth work side of things but then i guess when i have a good relationship with god then my Youth work will get better.

then this week holy has come to visit what has be been great really nice to see her and have some time to catch up and have a good girly giggle just like old times. its nice having friends that when you see even if its after ever such a long time you can pick up where you left off. I am very blessed!!

Ikea

well i just got back from Ikea which is always fun. love shoping in Ikea it is so well worked out. Jean and i went today and i bought a boat load of stuff. including some dvd shelves and book shelves the ironic thing is even though i bought two dvd sheelves i still do not have enough room for all my dvds so i will have to go back at some point and buy some more hehe all gun and games.

i also bought a guest bed for when friends and family come and stay so friends and family get in touch soon i would love to host you!!! two bedside tables a load of storiged stuff some picture frams and a dinning room chair i was going to get 6 but the onse i wanted where sold out so i only got the display model but i got a discount on that so yay.

now for the fun process of putting it all together and up yay

Marlee Matlin - Dancing With The Stars

another great find by linda

heater brocken its cold!!!

Chris has come to stay with me through half term which is great although am getting quite tired now.

and the hall heater has brocken about half way through the week so the flat is freezing.

but we are perservering with blankits and hot water bottles gonna miss him when he goes home.

made my first controbution to the seminars for my Masters today feeling quite frecked out by the whole thing although i think i will get better at them.

another year over

well it was my birthday on friday so that me hit 26 i really don't get why people freck out about getting older i know some people who have hit 26 and gotten completely depressed.

so since my birthday last year a lot has happend that i never imagined would happen. if you had told me I would have started a MA in youth and community work and I would have moved to the lake districked i would have laughed. i would also have laughed if you said that i would be single right now. thoughs are the three most megar things that have happend in the last year but both thing i think have actualy worked out for the best.

so what are my hopes for the year ahead

i want to excell at my job
i want to do fantasticly at my MA
And i want to be happy and content in life in Genral

well i might not manage the last one all the time but i think i will cope with the other two. :D

the wounder of the fist day back at work

life is good at the moment :) but its been a long week and a bit.
did the first block week at de montford last week and was completely overwhelmed by all the information and stuff that was throun at us. starting to work it out though now.

ant and chris gave me a cold which stared coming on on friday and basicly nocked me out sunday monday its very vexing when the colds strick on your days of but what can you do.

saturday was a bit trying because two lots of volunteers didn't show but the one who was here in the morning stuck around so it was okay.

now am getting ready for the reast of the week.

had the AA out this morning to start my car and it was found that i had to buy a new battery which i exspected really but would have prefurd not to really.

got to go to the cash and carry tomorrow really praying hard that my pay goes in without a hitch.

its been a bit of a runaway life recently

well hello again its been a while. but then i am having trouble getting internet into my new flat so i am stealing a few minuets before tiddlywinks (which i will tell you about in a min) to make a quick update and show that i am still living and breathing.

so i have moved down to penrith which was much fun and games since i ended up having to spend the first night sleeping on the floor of my new flat since my furiture was still somewhere in scotland. but it was all fine

although it is now 3 weeks on and i am still unpacking!! i don't remeber it tacking this long he last time.

the start of my new job as youth cafe worker at the bridge is all alittle hazy but when sn't starting a new job like that all the people and different things you have to learn. buti think it is going okay so far.

i do two cafe sessions which are called the santuary on wemesdays which is for young people who get a hard time at school and saturday cafe which is just for everyone.

then i help wit a mum and todds group on friday morning and i do a youth club friday evening oh and an after hours group in the cafe after the youth club.

i am also part of the youth cell groups and am helping with a youth alpha no one fall of their seats i have not been converted its just what i do.

and finaly i help with a schools lunch club on a thursday

so quite a busy week

i also get to do alot of cooking and cleaning and stuff like currently am experimenting with soups.

soon we are going to be starting a gardening poject and the fruit and veg from that will come into the kichen where i will make it into soup but until then i have to use the supermarket like everone else.

life is genrally good i am injoy the new place so far

okay next step please

right getting a bit fed up of packing and getting ready to go. well really i am ready and i wanna go but i guess i only have a few days left so i should stop being so impatent.

no man land

so sunday was sad saying goodbye although it was quite good fun we had a session on the guitar hero possibly the best game ever and went ice skating although had one person in the first aid room because they hit their head on the ice ouch.

then drove down to penrith yesterday and got my police check under way for the bridge and started also got to met up with some of the young people in the eve which was great fun.

found a flat today and am moving down on the 12th which is very exsiting can't wait although i have to get everything packed away before then. have a lot of work to do.

abundent blessings

well i am very blessed

the car failed its mot but i am blessed God has sorted me out and I know i can move house now.

i just need to find a home to live in and i will be fine.

woop greece

Linda and I have just got back from Corfu it was brill we lay by the pool most of the time and worked on not going home pealy waly. we also went into Corfu town which was very hot. but the best bit was one evening when we went through to a little local greek festival and joined in we where two of the few brits there it was a truly greek thing no pretence no pretending just people being people and it was fab. had a go at the dancing which was so hard.
But have been very blessed this past week and have come back completly relaxed and happy have so much to do to get things ready for my new job and leaving my current one in as good a state as i can.:D

although am all numb from the dentice and Laura has moved in today which is nice.

Men VS Women - The Differences

Simon's Cat 'TV Dinner'

oh how good is this

Simon's Cat 'TV Dinner'

oh how good is this

success

so this week has been manic i went down to penrith on monday for a job interveiw to become the bridge youth cafe worker. well i would not be putting this on if i had not got the job because i was keeping my job hunting covert. they offered it to me there and then they are also offering to pay for my ma and give me time to do it during the week. :D

i strat of the 15th of september so now for a bit of a manic time finding new places to live and finishing off things here.

i will be working in a team which is very good.

fun day take 2

the fun day went well today which was good

split the wellies and the spirit

just back from clan sooooooooooooooooooooooo tried but it was great.

my wellies brock on the first day but not bothered because it was sunshin all the week prity much.

had a lot of really good times with god learned loads and have loads of things to put into practice next year which was great. also had loads of good times with my young people as well as a few more rocky times particuly at 1:30 in the morning hehehehe

particuly want to investigate the prohphetic more this year and getting more of that gift of the spirit to bless people with. that was what alot of my clan was about.

of course there was alot more than that just lets say it was amazing i may write more about in the next few days when i am less tired

whats with the denticed

i have just spent the last few days trying to find an nhs dentice with in a 30 mile radious of perth that will take me on as a patent and couldn't have phoned everyone in the phone book. some would not take me because i was to far away butt even so am cross that there does not seem to be any dentice anywhere that has room.


other news the fun day went okay could have been better but could have been worse it could have rained but we could have done with more people but we have the next one soon and i am actualy quite looking forward to the next one but see how i feel the week before the event.

been nervouse

its the fun day tomorrow and i am feeling so nervouse there arn't enough people why are not all the church coming i don't get it.

it will be okay i hope it i will be good but i do know it will be okay so that will have to do for today going to go down the the church later and get as much organised for tomorrow that i can before hand

had fiona and the kids (the missionary we worked with in Albainia) staying this week its been good but i am very tired from it. they went on yesterday and will be back next week but i will be in clan for most of that bit of their visit.

reflection

have spent my afternoon reflecting on my work which is hard work being honist with yourself seeing the good and the bad and working out where the improvments are to be made.

i have sevril things to do but there you go you can always improve.

paul said that you should look at yourself with sober judgment so i have been on a personal level as well. its not fun.

yay

yay just booked the flights to curfu come aug linda and i will be winging our way out to see sprios at the RC hotel. am soooooo excited i cannot wait forget the work between now and then i don't care i just want to be on the plan!!!!!

woosh gone

saw gordon yesterday it was okay and thats that stuff is exchanged and we have had our last convosation. i feel sad but then i know its right we really should have done it before now. still griving over my lost hopes and dreams though.

Table tenise group this morning was good its really funny am actauly not bad at this sport lol.

got to go and get a load of stuff for the sunday summer school in a bit but really limited with the inthusasum

wooop

have had a epic journy over the last few days. but the first thing first the youth service went well there is stuff to improve on but it was really great.

and labelless went really well in the night as well.

i went home on monday which was hard work but was good because somehow managed to cut it down by and hour and a half and what with text convos ipod and books i was fine.

we watched ps i love you and eat fish and chips which was nice i think that book is deff better than the film but the film is deff good.

then up to lester for this interveiw which was not really an interview more an induction and question asking session because i am in although they could not find my referances which they will have to do before it becomes completely offical but they said that was just a formaility.

deadly excited.

strange exsperance

i went to the station to get my tickets for monday its really nice to think that i will see my family on monday night even if it is breifly. and i am so excited about this interview on tuesday and strangly i do not feel that nervouse i mean i am nervouse but i feel confident that i will get in so thats good.

but to my strange exserance i cut through the hotel i know naughty but i was feeling lazy. and i walked past a group of ladies all dressed in french maids costumes well i thought must be a hen party going on there was another group in the foya as well i though thats strange they are all in exsatly the same outfit. then went and sorted out my travel. when i came back there where at least 200 women in the foua and hallway of the hotel all dressed in french maid costumes i should have just walked round the hotel becuase i got stuck halfway to the door for about 5 minits in the press of bodies but while i was there i asked one of the french maids what was going on and it was a ann summers party lol so i have now been to a ann summers party even if it was agenst my will.

excited

i have an interview with the demonford uni to see if i am going to do my masters there. next week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i can't wait i so hope it all works out will need to start looking for funding soon if it does i can't wait to get started.

Frenzy

frenzy yestersay was awsame. got to see old YP and got to hang out with current YP got chat to friend and best of all got to worship all day.

there where down sides of course but great day have been very happy and God did some work on my life and atturtudes to it great.

upset

so sad i missed the last buddies group and no one told me it was done for the year.so went up to the school today and found out.
sigh well next year will be good.

bigger home

well it came this afternoon hate parcil force they never tell you the time that they will come so you have to wait in all day for them but it came.

my girls have a bigger cage now and they are very happy they have been jumping round it since i put them in. the good thing about it is that it is very big but that it folds flat :)so will be easy to move when i move on.

although it was flipping hard to put together so i am glad that bit is done now.

whats really nice is that i can see them playing now.

great day

i have had a fabby day went down to my communications course this morning which went really well we had a debate about binge drinking which was very fun i really like debates it turns out.
then was late to meet holly which ment that i missed her but waited outside borders on the off chance she would come back. and she did. which was smashing

we went and had itchi-ban which was delious as useal she had susi and i had chicken ramon soup yum and we had a long convo about Gordon and me braking up. actualy i don't think i have mentioned that yet but Gordon and i decided to take a brake a month ago which was why i went home could not work am of course devistasted that we are not going to get back together but also at peace with this decision that i have made. brocken hearts can mend and there are plenty more fish in the sea. anyway once we got that out of the way we went to visit brideal shops which was most exsiting i have never been in one and its great to be close friends with a bride so that i could see one or two well maybe three plus monsoon bhs accsesorise and so on. while we were going round she asked me to be one of her bridsmaids i am so excited about that i cannot wait.

finaly we ended up in starbucks and made up a fantasy man for me he is tall dark toned with stunning blue eyes like elja wood and irish. oh and perfect in every way does not annoy me and suppirses me with flowers chocolates and random stuff like that. this is what friends are for!

muller light frozen

loving muller light banana yogart just like good icecream and fat free yay

you just put it in the freza and stire it after the first 20 min and the every 10 minits soooooo good

full week

getting ready for my first full week of work. quite excited got some really great ideas for the summer and the rest of the term. so its going to be good.

church yesterday was really good last sunday of the month so the S1-3s come out with me during the service to chat about God and applying his word to their lives. there was only one young person in that group this week so it was alittle differcult.

then went over to someones house for lunch played with their kids (had a bit of a make-over hummmm) and then read my book in the back garden in the sun. very very nice

today been cleaning sorting out books to go to the charity shop and the spare room so that it will be ready for my future room mate to move into it which i am really looking forward to.

APB on God

A couple had two little boys, ages eight and ten, who were excessively mischievous.

The two were always getting into trouble and their parents could be confident that if any mischief occurred in their town, their two young sons were involved in some capacity. The parents were at their wit's end as to what to do about their sons' behavior.

The parents had heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children in the past, so they contacted him, and he agreed to give it his best shot. He asked to see the boys individually, so the eight-year-old was sent to meet with him first. The clergyman sat the boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?"

The boy made no response, so the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God?"

Again the boy made no attempt to answer, so the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face, "WHERE IS GOD?"

At that, the boy bolted from the room, ran directly home, and slammed himself in his closet. His older brother followed him into the closet and said, "What happened?"

The younger brother replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time. God is missing and they think we did it!"

g4g

this is a great radio station and i know one of the people who present i feel all fluffy

baby steps

went to my first councleing session this morning

it was really good i think it may really help to go through this process.

going back to work tomorrow looking forward it although feeling slightly worried about it as well i am sure i have so much to do but i am not sure where i will need to start.

back in perth

i am back in perth
came up last night
feeling okay still a bit delicate but okay.
i had a really good talk with mum when i was home and have come to some conclusions about my future that where not easy to come to but will be for the best in the long run.

but all in a lovley week saw aron dan and genny which was lovley went and saw the boat which was funny because the cover had not kept the water out because the mast was not up so the boat had filled with water.
i think mum might send the boat up to me which will be sooooo good so now i have to go and have a look and see how much it will cost to keep it here yay excited

comfort

its lovley to know that there is a place you can go even when you are feeling really really rubbish and it will cheer you up.

one of the best things about being home is going to church now i am not saying i don't love gateway because i do. but i am saying that for me gateway pales into insignificants when it come to the mission. its so nice to come home and see all the old face hear about their lives and tirles and see that things don't change all that fast after all. its also really nice to go into a building where you arn't exspected to do anything or be anything which of coiurse cannot be the case when you go into any church regulay and is probley why the missionb has such a rose tinted glow about it.
there was a visiting preacher today which was very nice talking about ephisans and about being set aside for God and living a joined life with the holy spirit how he sets us apart. as if we where engaged the promis of better things to come in the future.

went bowling with ant and claire this afternoon which was nice but am now abit bord and very very frustraited

we are having a bbq later which will be nice even if it will not help with the furstration thats really nothing to do with my family or being home.

got her half stone award today

i have finaly lost half a stone i feel so much thiner these days its great. i can see my target whight actualy getting reached now.
Slimming World is really really great

biker girl

been riding round the park for the last hour its funny seeing people over and over again as you go round and round. but very nice all in.

its a lovley sunny day outside which is good

e:ngage

felt jaided after church this morning so was not looking forward to e:ngage but it turned out that god was going to talk to me alot through it. which was great feeling very low as i am. god is amazing thats all there is to say

not a bad day all concidered

very tired but its been an okay day. the communications course this morning was bearable although chris was not able to make our coffee and chat after so i just headed up and meet up with Josh and Rachel which was very nice. they fed me and got really worried it was to spicy but it was okay.
had a nice chat

now am at home bit bord but have baileys and the first dics of season two of house so its not all bad

a minor mirical

relised something this morning which is quite exciting really well not for anyone else but for me it is brill.

i can't eat as much chocolate as i used to i used to be able to eat as much as was avalible. now i can't i have been cutting down for since i started this diet but over the last week lots of chocolate has been avalible and i have not eaten it all in one go it has lasted and lasted which is sooooo good.

okay not the most exciting post in the world but their you go when things are hard we have to take pleasure in the little things in life

challenge is over

well i found my cousin but she has made it clear she wants nothing to do with me. I don't really get why but there you go.

its a hard enough time at the moment anyway great upheavel and misary are going on in my life so it may be not a bad thing.

challange

i have been issued a challege today. to find my cousin and get in contact with her. right i have loads and loads of cousins but all of them are important and this one has disapeared. she was tacken into foster care when she was a little girl and has cut off all communication with our family since. now i think this is because she has quite negative memories of her time going into foster care and its too hard to be in contact with some of us.

but my family thin that if anyone is going to get her to talk to them its me. i am not so sure. but we shall see it would be good to know how she was doing so we shall see.

success in the classroom

well at least i think it was a success.

lead a revision disscussion class on creationisum today which went really well although had a few inital hiches like the projector not being able to conncet up to my computer so i could not use the powerpoint or video clips that i had prepared the young people had enough questions to keep us going for a while.

a near perfect weekend

Gordon and i have just spent an really lovley few days together. we oringonly where going to go up to avimuir and spend a few nights in a b and b but that did not work out but i actualy think what we did do was much better anyway.

Gordon planned a hole host of activertiese and did not tell me what they where until we were there. which was really good fun for me i hope it was for him.

first we went to dundee and the theater and saw a really great play called the wall about a load of glawigan kids on their summer holls it was soooooo funny i would highly recomend it.

then the next day we spent the day in st andrews we tryed to fly kites although it was not windy enough so much hilarity insued. then we went to the aquirum and looked at the fish which was supprisingly good. we also went to the castle it was free that day which was really good. they have a mine and countermine where a sieghing army tryed to under mine the castle to breack in which we went down. was quite freacked out by the exsperance really it was very small and damp down their very closterphibic but also very cool.
we went to the cathedral as well and up to the top of the tower thing very good.
finaly we eat fish and chips looking out over the ocen which was lovley.

then we came back to the flat and watched ratitue also really good fun.

today we went into edingbugh and to the gallery to see the warder choice exerbision which was really good and sat in the park.

we also found the theater that we are going to tomorrow night to see dads play.

i am so sorry that it has had to end soooo soon but then the good things can't last forever i guess.

back from the north

been to see my lovley Erica the last few days which was so fabby.

talked for ages about everything went out for lunch to a shortbread factory yesterday which was very nice (didn't have any shortbread) and played Phas10 with her friends in ellel and their lovley baby i lost so but it was a good game.

then went for a nice long walk this morning before i had to leave to go home.

the drive there and back was amazing!!!! so beautiful you could honistly cry. driving through the snow on the moutains and so on.

ups and downs

had a really nice day yesterday church was good and went out with the YP to Pizza Hut made cards. trying to sell some on ebay not going amazingly well but then i have never been amazing at selling things. persentational skills not been my strong point. but i think i am getting better.

had a bit of a stress this morning but its okay now and am sitting watching life on mars and with so chocolate buttions and my lap top. which is good gonna clean later and give this place a good going over so that when the new term start i will get head start with keeping it clean.

can't wait for the end of the week though going to see Erica and going away with Gordon :)

fuzzy brain syndorm

okay i am just back from a day conferance on house churches and trying to start a new exspersion of church within our comunites in scotland. feeling a little over whelmed but i am sure my brain will put off the new info into it place sometime soon.

it was a very good forum though enjoyed the day.


Gordon is back from camp yay but does not look like we are going to see that much of each other until the weekend sigh never mind.

btw Conratuations Hannah and Dyl on your Engagments :-) (-:

My First Day At School

Simon's Cat 'Let Me In!'

Simon's Cat 'Cat Man Do'

feeling a bit better

okay so i am being helped towards the middle of the tree there are good points to my linemanagment and but its better than having nothing there at all.

i don't know though still feeling discoriged and quite low

su was okay but i looked at the wrong verce so was alittle disjointed.

i hope Youth House Group goes well tonight it has the potental to be a good night be genraly it has the potental all the time.

the worst bit is over

superhero is done
vis a vis is done
easter assbly is done

its almost plain sailing until easter is over and thats a really good thing

gordon and i went to see south pacific last night which was great we had such a lovley night was so upset when it came to an end. but then you can't live in a time bubble however much you would like to.

now the wind is blowing

humph so inregards to me earler post that i was stuck at the end of a branch that was beinging to creack.

well this week the wind pickted up so am feeling even more insecure than i was then.

some quite significant stuff kicked off at the school which was one of the envirmoents that i was feeling fairly confident about os it has hit me quite hard.

feeling alittle like i have done something really badly or really wronge at work in jenral which i am sure is not the case.

i have been alittle frustraited and stressed well okay alot frustraited and stressed but which else was there for me to feel. was strating to feel truley abbandond by my managment. i am a person who needs lots of support and help in lots of things and when i don't get that then i mess up.

but now it feels alittle like something has gone wrong so my managment are jumping feet first in an attempt to fix it and they might not really look what they are about to land on. its great they want to help me with these problems but i really do not want them to make these problems into bigger deals than they are already. i would also like to know that they can see that i have done good work for them for the last 7 months and it is not all just this one thing that has gone wrong now. and the thing that coursed it to be an issue in the first place (my communication skills) is not something that is unfixable.

i am hurt enough from the Y problems I hope they can see that and that I need TLC to be the best i can be.

Christian Pat and his Charismatic Cat

this is sooooo funny

the camera that looks through clouths

hehehehe

out on a limb thats starting to creck

feeling very alown at the moment and slightly bereft. if i was doing the blooby tree that we used to use a load in college. i would be far away from everyone else and on a thine branch.

there you go i have done quite a lot to put myself in this possition. the problem is that its happening in every asspect of my life and right now i don't feel like there is anyone i really can talk to about it.

which again is my own fault.

i mean i can talk to different people about different asspects of my life which i guess i should be happy with but what i would really like is to have someone that i could offload it all to and to know that that person would help me find solutions without trying to sort them out for me. i mean i don't need resuce i need support.

school let down

headed into the school this morning but the assembaly that i was supposed to be doing was canceled. this is not a problem really but its slightly frustraiting. i did ask the receptionist if it was on the other day knowing that other peoples assembalies had been cancelled but as far as she new it was on. i wish they would let all their staff know when things have changed but i guess thats really differcult in big schools.

buddies was gerat yesterday and tuesday, su was okay.

just rescued cheery from the inside of the couch which was silly of her to get into there.

emotional moment

get so frustraited with my self sometimes. why is it that when i am tired angry frustraited or anything all i can seem to do it burst into tears. i hate it partly because it is embarrising makes everyone worry get stressed around me. and when i am already tired it makes me even more tired.
basicly spent the whole church service this morning weeping away but hey thats me i guess i have to learn to live with it.

enage tonight which should be good have only limited input this month because was away in Albania when the meeting happend.

not complaining though!

the real start of easter maddness

been a chaplancy meeting today planning the easster assemblies. then we have super hero and vis a vis comeing to the church. tbh i can't wait till its all done and dusted. not saying it wont be fun it will its just going to be incredably hard work for the next few weeks.

not to worry though going to take a weeks holiday afterwoulds to recover and Gordon and i might head up north for a long weekend away in some hostel or other which would be nice.

back

Albainia was brill

could have stayed for another week at least.

although i was very tired when i can home

did so much its hard to think what to put on here.

we went into the jipsee community most day visited two ophaniges and did crafts till they where coming out of my ears its all good.

had such an amazing time and everyone was really pleased with the work that i did out there.

the team there are wounderful

and had a really fun time in the evenings pillow fights ect as well as getting young people to bed. quite funny really most nights as soon as our heads hit the pillows we where asleep. its hard work this missionary lark

getting ready to go to albainia

i think the service went well on sunday although i was alittle harrised during it and before it i didn't leave enough time to prepare it seems. but then never mind you live and learn.

i am getting ready today which is intresting making lists all the things i need too take all the things i need to leave behind so that other things want suffer there is lots todo but we will be okay i am so looking forward to it.

how long can a cold last yikes

my cold has contunied i am still feeling frigile and coughing alot even though its been more than a week.

i am back at work though which is good going to have to deal with the fall aout from being ill for a week now missed meetings and the likes.

superhero is coming to perth in march so have a lot of work to do for that i am really looking forward to doing the work even if the music is not my cup of tea :)

engage this weekend as well lots to do lots to do all alittle scary really.

deep impact and fall out

went to the scotish youth work conferance "deep impact" last weekend it was brill not just because we got to see loads of old friends and make loads of new contacts but there was also some really good lectures (as well as some very poor onse) and it was lovley to get some really good time to myself to walk about avimore and look at the snow on the mountains.

the only down side was that i came home and within hours i was coughing and by wenesday lunchtime i was off work ill. and i am liying on my couch still not feeling very well but getting better life goes on.

people have been very kind over the past few days.

splish splash

hehehe