you know that feeling of hoplessness thats been dogging me recently and semingly for all my life. well it's back. don't know it's horrible to feel thick all the time and i really do i try so hard and never seem to get anywere. I know i can't exspect to be like normal people but just for once i would like to find something that i was okay at that i could just do and not have to push myself so hard there really is very little in my life that is easy and i know that i never do go for the easy option when it comes to my eduction and stuff but thats not what i mean. But God is good and i guess he made me like this for a reson and that it all builds charitor and i would not be me if I didn't have to struggle the way I do and i am probly blowing the hole thing out off proportion because i think to deeply about my own fawlts thats life and God is still good and will get me out of this depressive moment.