quite tired now although had a good nights sleep but that is it for the summer school morning bit just have to get through the bbq and church and then down to soul survour which is really exsiting although i don't now when i am going to pack as i have a very full couple of days really could do it now wile i am waiting to see if i really do have to go into town today.

this is so cool we are on both side of the picture photography is fun 

cheese it is all good 

well again summer school went well. as did the devotion this morning i don't know i never get stage nerves more than when i am trying to talk to western grown ups African grown ups are much nicer to talk to. although everone said that what i said and did was good so i am feeling better about it than i did when i had just finished it.
the thought was the despite the fact that jesus was being betrayed and rejected by everone he still found time to heal someone and that someone was someone out to hurt him. also makes you think about paul as well really.
arnt i being profound don't worry will get back to my silly little comments soon. tehe

spent last night liying on a sofa with Gordon on another sofa doing daft things like being pulled off said sofa and relising that the lounge carpet smells of feet! we also waterproofed his tent which was a bit of a giggle factor aspeshaly when some of our African brothers came and saw it and got quite exsited i love our African brothers they are great.
the outcome of all this was that we stayed up very late though (waiting for a radio 4 program which lasted for 15 minits) so am quite tired this morning but it is all good last but on day for summer school. bbq tomorrow as well it is all good.

In an internet cafe with Gordon bit silly really since I have internet at home such is life.
just been to see Fahrenheit9/11 which was really good. qhite scary really seeing what happend after the 9/11 thing. really weired as well as i was so insalated from all of it in Uganda. none of the politacal stuff got to us really till we got home although funny how freaked out a group of mainly late teen girls can be when they are away from home and something like that that was such a good year though.

wet again this is getting repetative summer school was okay this morning although the rain is a bit of a pain.
have a secret mission this afternoon going to go and be all secretive around town tehe although one part of it will be buying a waterproof coat!
where did all the sundhine go

had a walk in the rain would of been romantic exsept tehe was on my own and on my way home from the church after doing summer school. although it was nice warm rain is always nice to walk in despite the kids laughing at me since i didn't have a coat should really get a summer coat but not really bothered like i said i like walking the rain as long as it isn't cold. my life my flat looks like a bomb went off only problem being that well it is gonna get worse i am sorting through my paperwork which since i left the college has not really been looked as it has been a box or a suitcase daft i know what sort of profesional am i never mind such is life. but i recon the people who give me all this paper have a few rain forests the anwer to.

just got back from summer club. it went well and i got complemted on my energy yay. well you may as well make the best of such things i am leading the singing and actions tomorrow cose the kids need someone to do that it is all good really.
didn't go to church after all yesterday went to sleep instead and watched videos not telling mum she will give me the your delicate speech again honistly tehe love you mum if you are reading this one thinks putting such things on the internet defeats the object of not telling people really dosn't it.
okay enough of this total madness i have work to do. (or so she says)

feeling alittle sick really we were in Glasgow emlem last night and it was so hot and they had painted a wall urk i almost keeled over in there it was horried and the problem was that i really really want to stay and listen in the end the threat of vomit won out and holly and i went and sat outside till it ended which was fine because it gave us a chance to cach up. rest of the night felt really doped up though never good always happens when i can't breath properly although and am still feeling alittle urk which might be unrelated might just be me actualy getting sick. might cry off church will see how i feel in about half an hour though cose if i am fine i will go but if not then i do not wish to make myself more ill for next week and let everyone down.

what a day wow. well went to the garage this morning to cheak and see if they had the right phone number as they had not phoned me yesterday as they said they would but it was because they had not gotten round to doing my car yet. then came home and did some swift cleaning as Gorden was coming round to use my internet he arived about 12 then i went to the hair dressers at 1 then we ate lunch and carried on with varouse jobs. the car guy phoned me to tell me that the car was ready which was good although by the time we got round to going to get it the garage was closed we had dinner which made me half and hour late for a meeting which was alittle embarising. then went home and Gorden messed around for ages it was great fun so nice to have people around at my house. quite sad he had to go home really. but then again just had a nice hot bath which is the up side of guest leaving tehe.

feeling alittle unsettled stayed in the college last night after going to se Irobot which is a class film but this morning i was woken up by someone trying to get into the room which was hollys room so i thought i was holly coming back from wherever but when i cheked the person had gone bit eek. also slightly nervy couse i have just tacken the mini into the garadge told this guy want rip me off but but the potental is there as i know nothing about cars well never mind the things that need doing need doing maybe i can get a loan from the church if it is to exspensive.

Gorden his befriendy and his mum and i all went to m&d's yesterday (a theam park) it was great. went on all the ides that we could go on although am in a bit of pain today from rickaty rolicoasters though. I also drove on the motoway again which was not to bad. got back to the college and was so tired that i didn't feel that i could get home safley so stayed over. got so much to do today now it is one of thouse days with so meny little jobs that you just feel like you will never get them all done oh well had better get started then hadn't i :-)

life is good have driven on the motoway sucsessfuly twice this week i am so proud of myself. Also took Gorden and his mum to Drumchaple with a load of disco stuff hung around with them and played rounders with some kids which was fun although sadly i was gootten out every time did not even score a rounder. yesterday was good went to a church bbq yum

my life tehe had a good day yesterday. got disturbed in the middle of doing some work i didn't really want to be doing to go and get tickets for King Arther in the eveing with Kat and Gorden. Kat went of the work and Gorden and I went shopping but the fun thing is what it was for lights and disco equipment for a disco at Gordens placment we got loads of neat stuff including a bubble and a smoke machem and spent the rest of the day playing with them although could not put the smoke machem on in college. we compromised by putting it out the window coursing much hilarity when the wind just bloow the smoke right back into the room. tehe. Holly and family turned up in the afternoon and we hung out with them always good playing monopaly setting up the lecture theater into a games room (heathens that we are) and so on. finaly rounding off the night with Pics King Arther was good nothing really to rage about although it would is a good film to see in the pics. went strait home after that coul of slept over as kat and i are going to see Stepford Wives today but needed my bed. it is all good

was watching day time tv yesterday very sad i know but whats a girl to do. but i sar a thing that made me actualy want to cry. there were these women doing a chat show and they were talking about how they would go for plastic surgary and chemical peals and the like because every woman really wanted to be beatiful and they seemed to think that was the only way to do this. these ladyes were really lovley ladyes but they seemed to think because they had a few rinkles they were ugly. although there was one lady who stood up and said that you should love yourself whatever oh well i guess that is the way of the world it just makes me sad.

have been sitting around doing pritty much nothing all day bliss.
yeasterday of course being sunday was another story and we had an impromtune YF in the evening due to much begging by Ruth humph it was actualy quite good fun we sat around drank hot choclate talk about God and w2hat he's doing in our lives at the mo and looked at the pics on my computer. although they maniged to brake one of my guitar strings humph they were trying to tune it with my clarinet i think that may be were they went roungh so that little visit to the music shop i have been putting of for so long has become that bit more urgent.

its all good my computer is playing funny games on me and would not conect to the internet eralyer on today but such is life. got back from camp yesterday which was great fun although alittle stressful. had a migrain in the middel of it which was not good even so maniged to do a ropes course which i am quite proud of just need to take into acount next time that camp is not a place i will be able to retreat from the things that course me to have migrains and so i will have to be careful. had a lagh though and the kids were great. just been to the pics it was funny Kat and Gorden and i went to see thunderbirds then walking tall we ment to go see the prince and me but it was sold out. both films were passible for what they were nothing really ground brecking though. yay hyper now need to sleep.

my life they have changed how this thing looks again there apear to be some people with alittle to much time on there hands i know that you can't see this so i am not sure why i am talking about it.
had another camp meeting today and tomorrow we face the music hopefully it will be good i am sure it will be good just need to get there ho hum.
but there are meny things to look forward to in the coming weeksso thats okay.

just had a bad moment.
having a great day spent time with some of the people who went to heart and soul and even though we didn't really do what i thought we were going to do it was nice to see them.
then went to pics with linda to see mean girls which was great and discovered how obsessed i really was as we got into the lift to get to the groud floor and linda ses that in hindsight that that was a very moral film and that it would be good to use in groups and i say that i had been thinking that all the way through can i never rest i wounder. then later we went to see the frist showing of spiderman exserlant film loved it. so to the bad moment got to my car and found the door unlocked. well nothing valuable was tacken as there was nothing valuble in the car that is just commen sense but my frount seat covers were gone which may not be a very big deal as they wernt all that exspensive and i have to more which were gonna be made into a cover for the back seat but they were a gift from one of my dads Rob and so it hurts. so alittle low at the mo will get over it of course.
thing is i rember locking the car so i don't think i trust that lock but on the other hand it was ovesly a bit of a opertunist theft as they didn't even attempt to take my radio which know is brock but a theif wouldn't would they?

am at college again starting to live my life here again.
meet up with some of the young people from heart and soul the idea started out that it would just be the young people from Cathcart and we could have a sharing time but that didn't happen it just turned into a siting round and chatting tim "fun" but linda rescued me and we went to the pics again this time to see mean girls which was good lots of things that can be used for teaching oh arn't i sad i have no life oh well the wind and the rain.

had such a boring day yesterday really but it was so nice just sat around and eat chocalte which i will regrate when i get fat but ho hum the wind and the rain.
today going to see shrek 2 at last yay yay yay it will prbley be a big come down because i have bilt it up so big in my mind but again ho hum the wind and the rain.
just sitting having many convos with may people in the youth min room great fun Neil keeps walking in and out look alittle dazed and confused but what do you exspect 3 days before camp. camp next week yay have still not ritten these flipping drama opps will do that tonight as well as a million other things ho my life i am rambiling. never mind you all love me anyway.

I make this work or so i am told hehehehehehehehe 

Maryhill were we went during heart and soul.  

wow what a week it has been totaly amazing totaly amazing indeedy.
heart and soul rocks and anyone who is reading this and does not come next you is a very big silly indeed don't arange any hollidays till you know when it is happening sercously you will not regreat it.

God has done so much this week it is wounderful and not just for other people he has been doing amazing things in me to like for the ffirst time in my life i danced without any worreis about being a discowardinated fool. i think he might have healed my dyspacsa.
yay

anyhow amazing

the internet is rubbish

just been to a very long thing it was the graduations service 2hrs uuurg but it was great to see how many people graduated well done all you. (if you are reading this that is)
anyhow doing well in genral not much has happend since i last bloged. going to take my young people to elem tonight bit nervouse for them but i am sure they want be freeked out to much and we can debreif them afterwoulds if they are.
head is hurting again feeling slightly worried about it hurting quite so much i mean i am not doing anything to make me stressed to make me have a headake. the problem being when i get a headake i panic because of the past history i have with them but i have had three truly bad ones in one mounth maybe it is time to go to the doctor pray big time everone i don't want to have to go back to the bad old days i have been clear for two years. scard and frightend really ttfn

I bought pillows!!! i really am living in my own home how freeky is that. was putting up photos in my room really need to get out there and take some up to date onse because most of the proper stuff is from so long ago. but on the up side i have my enlarger so i can now develope some of the huge amounts of black and wight film yay.
what else have i done well went to a meeting yesterday which was a meeting yep yep it was.
not much else really reading? thats about all my life contains arnt i fun

head hurts again. so stressed you would not beleive.
just had a very long meeting were we acheived very little oh well such is life. and i feel like my hole day is gone.
starting to get reading for next year arn't i organised pat on the back for self hehe. going home now have bacon butty and chips yay.

Genny and I on Dans bed the other day.  

hehe i have just worked out how to put pictures on my blog. hehe

Me 

have moved into my new house yay mostly unpacked just a few bits and bobs to put away. only down side is that my dovay is in college but i can manage untill monday when i am going in anyhow or even tuesday when we have a meeting there.
it is really nice here although it is a bit strange it being so quite.

in pain and in glasgow the two arnt linked. pain from riding ouch using mussels that have all faided to nothing. and in glasgow cose thats were i am.
got shoes this morning yay love Rushden best place for cheap shows in the shops they would have cost about £50-60 but in the factory only £20 love Rushden so much went into church to see the lunch club team it was nice see some famila faces then got a lift to the airport. now am moving house tomorrow my life it is all go isn't it. there is another cehlie (could someone tell me how to spell this dratted dance thing we do) yay

going riding tonight yay havn't been riding for almost a year so it is going to course me much pain and suffering.
just squwerted an oringe down my nice wight top pants that means i smell nice but have slobish stanes all over my frount most anying will have to change. bit bord to be honist.

just been hanging out with my old school friends Dan and Gen it was great fun as always.
these are the only people i am still in touch with from school so that make hanging out even better.
had a bit of a dull day read alot invaided the attic have desided that i i can't actualy take all the things that i wish to this time but such is life tomorrow going to hang with mum who is tacking a day of specialy for me. yay

I am home yay

ouch have a migrain (and anyone who ses why re you on the computer will be shot because such things cannot affect the running of my day to day life they will not not again not ever)
but had a really good bible study with the quiter members of the group as the louder members had better things to do. hummmmmm
now going to JYF yay and sleep will be home tomorrow

ceilhe last night was great everone had a real go love dancing with other people who truly do not now what they are doing.
although we had a bit of an emotional mo with one of the boys who was feeling ignored in the group which was actulay quite a resonable feeling since he was sort of being left out but no more than is normal for someone who is hanging out with a closely nit group when they don't normaly hang out with them.
bissy day again. church was the prmotion service and so all the kids lead it which was great. we sang old favs like shine jesus shine and my God is so big. but cheese on acasion can be quite nice.
then strait from that to the sunday school outing at a sort of farm place were we had a tractor ride and got to hold bunnyes great.
ears are rining not actulay sure why not listened to any load music resently hummmm.

draged myself out of bed this morning to help with the rest of the move but got their to find that there were so many people in the flat that you could bearly move ended up in th ministers hose looking at a couch for my flat which will be ready for me next sat yay.
came home and have been getting on with stuff am not having a convo with my cousen and brother which is abit pointless should get on with prep and so forth but have lost all motavation to go back up the stairs. last Amrican thing tonight Ceileh yay they are always fun.

Had the strangest dream last night. was going into this strange youth club and i somehow went from the door were an old lady met me to the ladyes toliet were one of my young people was giving herself a tatoo. which i told her to stop because the toliet was not a clean anoth place to do that in. she started shouting and the old lady come in and started throwing tranquilser darts at us one got me in the leg and i started to fall over then she threw another one at me and finished me off. the next thing that happend was that i was ontside on a strecher asking if my young person was okay. someone called andy from downstairs which woke me up sort of glad that i did not find out how the yp was really lucky it was only a dream. how strange is my brain.

spent all day helping one of my young people to move hose will be doing the same tomorrow as well but today was really good because me and said yp just hung out and put china on shelves all day and read about big brother fights which were horrid.
One of the reasons this was a really good thing to do today was because this young person and i never really clicked before but we found loads of stuff to talk about and plenty of common ground.
Steve (one of the YPs i am staying with) has just come in and messed my hair up most vexing.
have ayouth team meeting now yay.

the computer hates me really it does everytime i sit down to do any work it turns itself off or crashes. although Andy has been messing around with it today and it seems to be working okay at the mo we will see how long it lasts.
The hole flat situation is finaly at a stage were i can start to think about moving it infact have already packed up my non essental stuff yay. I am also going home next tuesday yay so lots of good things to come in the coming week can't wait.
The Amrican visit is going well we had our fellowship night last night at church and they are a lovely bunch we are going to netherlee church tonight for a simila thing all good.

I have just had the most wonderful weekend that I can remember for a long time. That's because God has been totally there all the way through and giving me lots of wonderful messages. Putting this into words is truly hard. I have been going through a really dry patch when it comes to my faith. But God started talking to me on Friday about getting back in touch with him then again on Saturday. Then finely last night was amazing wonderful God is so Great I went up for prayer at caterlyst and the two people who prayed for me just got it so right their prayer was so spot on. They named all the things I have been struggling with all the things that have been hurting me recently. And throught them God assured me that he was going to work through all the things and that I did not have to struggle with them on my own it such a weight has lifted it is great. He was even talking to me through the rather rushed thought for the week I write for my young people 'Freedom' was this weeks theme.

How wonderful How marvelous
Is the God of Heaven
Brining Healing forgiveness
wonderful Love

yep am stuffed full again. not a plesant feeling infact feeling alittle sick on it went for sunday lunch at the Mance which of corse was as always lovely but very filling.
i was sitting in communion this morning reflecting on why i like my church and why i like Cathcart Trinity and why i like going to Glasgow Elem (which may lose favor still but have enjoyed it the last two times). The conclusions was that I like Cathcart because they are very reflective and prayerful, I like Elem because they are lively and happy and I like the Mission because they have elements of both. i did not feel as fullfilled when i was only getting the reflective side of worship and i guess i would not be happy if it were the other way round. So like when eating food it is good to have a balence in worship. Don't really want to go into the down side of all three churches i do that far to much it is good to be were i am :-)

my life have eaten so much think i may exspode.
but lets start abit further back went to college yesterday and the by by upstairs people party which was nice then Holly Abie and I went to the Cehli club which was closed because the bad didn't go sob. so after a great deal of walking around we went to the beer cafe instead i had never been there befor it was cool. then we went and found Gorden and his mates from work then i went into my frist club (huummmm) was very uncomfortable so we left again after a short time and eat subway or the others did i was stuffed from the party.
then went back to the college and sat in the lounge listening to Gorden and Abie having a argument about definitions of wichcraft and paganisum or something (hummm) this morning had to run to the train station to get back to Cathcart to pick up the girls for their end of Gnomes lunch thats why i am so stuffed that i might exsplode it was great they loved it. I really enjoy my girls company they are wounderful people with alot to offer it is a privalige to know them all. :-)

my life my brother just told me that his english exam went good. hehe he's dyslexic i think he means it went well for him. He is doing really well i am so proud of my little brother he has come through so much and acheived so much he is a truly amazing cration of God and I just thank God for giving me a little brother who can make me laugh till i cry.

yay have finished at paisly thats it over finished done now all i have to worry about is getting permision slips to my young people Cathcart for our trip on sunday i know i have left it a tad late but such is life. and i am not the most organised of people. hehe

Paisly was okay yesterday although the girls didn't come to the group we had a bit of time with them outside. In which we had some choclate which "they" of the leader gave me as a going away presant. sooo sweet
then came to the college and sat around with everyone plus an old student (abby) who is back visiting people and who is lovely.
at some point after twelve Abby Holly and I went to the kabab shop shortly to be joined by Gorden then we did a night time photo shoot around Glasgow and Gordens new phone has a video camra thingiy on it so he did a crazy video thingiy. it was very funny indeed.

hard day going through abit of a emotional turmol so up and down more than normal although being quite moody is not that unuseal suddenly very thirsty perhaps it is the bacon sandwige i just had for my dinner.
waiting for Internet chap to come but so tired college was long we didn't really get a lunch breck as we were in a meeting telling Neil all about what we thought of the course. yay. so very tired could cry don't want to face the rest of the week really want to curl up in small ball and hide away and hope no one comes to find me cose i can't take anymore. sob
really not that bad just tired hehe.

Be a sheep...


...and follow the crowd!

1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. Do you have a crush on me?
5. Would you kiss me?
6. Describe me in one word.
7. What was your first impression?
8. Do you still think that way about me now?
9. What reminds you of me?
10. If you could give me anything what would it be?
11. How well do you know me?
12. When's the last time you saw me?
13. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
14. Are you going to put this on your LiveJournal and see what I say about you?

it was all good yay the bible study had a large amount of peole but they all were relly good and it all went well and there was even some food for seconds at the bible study meal. then JYF was good we planted funflowers (from pots for all thoughs who know its two late to plant sunflowers) and made book marks which was good i like just putting a load of crafts stuff on the table and leting them go abit wild with it all.
so feeling happy.

have a unusal situation it seem that alot more young people want to come to my bible study tonight. This is a good thing but slighltly worrying as the bible study i invissaged was a very small group so that we could have really indepth convosations and shyer people whould feel more free. well if all else fails i will just split the group but i have my suspsions that some of the young people are just coming to be social and because they come to everthing the church does for them.(which is good not saying its not) like i said strange situations to be in really.

had such a good day yeasterday John Gorden and I met up in town and eat pizza then went to the internet cafe to check out flights to soul survior yay so exsited. Holly joined us there and we went and played some pool a game at which i do not exsell. it was so much fun.
then we worked to the elem church singing for most of the way hehe we are mental but it is great. found a zen peace garden lost the boys or they desided to play hide and seek. Then they found us and left us to find our own way to the church so they could run up back streets to beat us up the road. funny haha.
the service was great, quite inspired by it which is always good.
then john left us to go home and we went back to the college and watched Love Actualy in Gordens room till the wee hours then Holly and I in a serouse lack of judgment (my inturnal mum was ovesly turned off last night) desided to stay up all night then near morning we sleept for a few hours i am fine want be tomorrow but today is okay.
this morning was good talked about communion and i learnd something new yay like learning new things. went to see Harry Potter again with my young peoople and am now nearly on my way to a bbq yay with my young people again luky i like them isn't it :-)

I just went out for hot choclate in a coffee shop with the Patons which was good it is nice to sit around and chat with people outside the house.
could of gone into town and seen my fellow students but I am afraid that i can not be bothered to get in my car and start driving again far to tired far to stressed want be any company to them anyway and just not in the mood. hope they understand sure they do. yep know i am rambling there is no point to this peace of writing.

well went to paisly ready and willing if not overjoyed at the prospect of bag packing to raise money for their london trip only to be sent home again due to the girls not being very sensible at the project and so the other leader not wanting to take them away to course troble at the super market.
so came home and eat a tostie tea not really feeling very hungry at the mo havn't eaten anything other than fruit and chocolate all day.
watched some silly tellie and am now sitting here woundering what to do with myself don't feel like making my way into Glasgow to be with the others so want do that. reading a book may be an option.

not a very productive day really although have done a fair bit of reading but not a much as i should of. have to prepare for JYF which is getting me down slightly annoyed that kirk seesion appears to be tacking my leaders away again but now there are more people doing the group its not so important but both people do kirck session stuff so one will just not have to go.
funny thing is that they only just had one acupple of weeks ago so why has it happend again so fast.
feel like i should be under presure to do something but know in my head that i am not as i have finished all my assments for now which is good just wish my stomerk would cach up with my head. humph

haveing a i just don't care day today.
although i don't hink it's shown to other people which is a good thing cose if i was int that sort of mood and was letting it show then i probley would get fired or something.
the schools group at paisly was good it was the last one so the kid were sad they are S7s and so moving up into secondary school next year. but there is a plan for a new evening group for them next year so don't feel to sorry for them.
then sat around and made a flyer for summer holiday events at the star and then did nothing. until it was time for the boys group to come in they didn't come so i am home a bit early.
got out of the car and relised that i left my book in the office dou will get it tomorrow. so ho hum

Funny night really went to paisly the kids broke into the project and almost had the group stoped before it even started. but it started Ros tryed to talk to them about last weeks drama which they wound her up about by not really caring, then they walked out.
ummmmm
think i may be developing a fettish for this church of fools thing it's stupid and silly people go on it but it sort of addictive.
should really sleep but am so not tired to much irn-bur eeek

just been to the hairdressers. it looks good i think. but exseranced consdrable pain don't think i will go back to that perticula salon they don't care much about customa comfort.
althought there was only two of them and they had four people on the go at one point.
don't you just love that newly cut feeling though hummmmmm.

if you are going to critisize someone frist walk a mile in there shoe. Then you will be a mile away and will still have their shoe. my little brother is great he has the best frazes.
day was okay very tired quite low now think have just run out of energy and am not sure what i am gonna do with the Gnomes tonight.
but it will all look better in the morning i am sure.

still madness gave up trying to do work an came to go to the cinima Harry Porrter was sold out till 7:50 so i am going to see the day after tomorrow before and linda is gonna join me for harry potter after that and then i am staying at the college till tomoz which is nice.

maddness i can't find my bible the one which i write in which means that it makes it orfely hard to do my homework for tomorrow which is read mark and highlight diffrent ways Jesus talk to diffrent people. I also can't find a phone number which is most anyoing seem to have deleted all e-mails from this person as well so not starting out to be the most orgnaised of days.

YF was load today ouch. But good they really get into controvershal subjects like the oclut (which was tonights) it is so good that they feel that they can share within the group.
not sure what to do with myself now bt high to try and sleep. go and read a book or something i should. Really could do with someone to talk too and bounce about with in that sort of mood.

humm just got back from church and the internet guy has sent me a link to a thing called church off fools it a vertual church with services and everthing.
anyway besides playing with silly computers i have been a bissy bee with finishing the last essay that i have to write this year and preparing my YF for tonight have to do some drama at church.
the exstreem force thing which is painful truly painful.
never mind have discovered that going home will be imposible till after heart and soul after all but such is life.
well thats me really church was church and life is life gonna go and finish my prep.

I really badly need to get my hair cut really badly wounder what new and exsiting thing i will deside to do with by monday when i go to one of the many salons in cathcart and get it done moday is a day off it will be a day off it will it will oh not it can't have another assement meeting pooh pooh pooh why has it suddenly become impossible to find time to rest were has all that wounderful free time gone. on the good side if i get this next essay finshed today and do this meeting that means by wenesday i will be free from assement presure and can just ride the wave till the end of the year yay. Praise God

went to Y friday last night was slightly dissapointed with the poor turn out from college.
Y-Friday was exerlant love it came out feeling better than when i went in. although i would critise the way the heart and soul people talked for ten minits and did their video thing in the middle of the gig not very profesional i thought i mean they should of done it at the beging or the end if they were gonna do it or not at all really since we went to hear music. I know they need people to go but it really started to turn me off going before the girl had finished and i am going.
had a camp meeting this morning which was okay stayed at the college last night so i didn't need to get up to early which was good. head hurts now mind which is not the best.

silly market resurch people always after my time i think they see me coming and think good nice girl will nab her. well it's just tacken me half and hour to get through them all I don't know one after another after another. am at the college about to do some work humph well i guess it dosn't happen that offten.
hehehehe

Good day went to the park again this afternoon and had a great time pushing girls on a swing even though they din't need to be pushed at all so minamal effort but is nice just to spend time with them.
think i suprised one of the other leaders today by the way i handled the volitile tempars of some of the young people mind just cose i speak nicely dosn't mean that i am all that sheltered.
And do you know I like the attention just as much as the kids do so working with them and this goes for the Cathcart bunch and giving them the attention that i can give them means that i get the attention that i like having guess it all comes from wanting to be on the stage and that basic human need for others. feeling warm and fuzzy

wow its amazing i have been so bissy today and yet i can say that i am not overley tired. amazing thats a frist.
how my first pastoral session with Wilma this morning it was great we sat and chatted and found out stuff about each other and drank hotchaoclate in the collest little restraint called choclate heaven which is just that really nice cakes i am telling you really nice.
then had my assment with Steve for Paisly which was cool felt Ros probly didn't critisie me anoth i mean how am i gonna learn new stuff if people don't show me were to go but then again maybe i truly didn't make to meny mistakes.
then we took the kids to the park to dissapered after being monsters and we told their perants that they ahd run off and so resighnd responsibliaty for them then we played with these huge balls with our one remaining girl who actualy started to shine out the presance of the others was so chuffed.
had to train it as car is still bust and will be till next week ho hum
its been a good day

Just had a good moment worked out how to put the links back on my blog which had gone when i changed the style with alittle help from Andy who i have been having an MSN convo across the room most funny.
oh and by the way college despite the bad parts like losing my purse. and oh oh oh I got a B and the last Essay i rote i am so happy about that since i thought for sure i had failed it.

Do you know I relised something today and it is not particaly nice. genaly not the best when you find out thing about yourself that i just not nice. I guess i new about it before but just ignored it. It is that i am so prowd and narrow minded that i forget about other peoples needs and wants and focus only on my own. If anyone who is reading this has exseranced this horrible part of my personality I am sorry and will be trying to make it up. Luckly for me as for other people I hae a Gracefull God who tells you about the bad things in you and then helps you learn how to not be them even if it takes forever. anyhow on that cheerful note i will finish love you all think your all great.

JYF went well tonight which is a releife. although not particulay inspartional. it would be nice mind if once we didn't have one of the membrs bursting into tears on us. humm tricky it seems however cheerful my message is (like tonights you can do it) someone still starts crying.

just been writting a very long essay but nearly at the end finishing tuches then read though and all done and onto the next one gonna get both finished so that i don't have to worry about them anymore and can feel sum stress leave my body. yay
what a fun life i do lead.

well my life what a bussy weekend.
went to town Friday and meet Noelle and Steph we eat at a Japanees restront all something like wagamungas it was lovely and so nice to sit and chat Noelle knows alot about food so we had a good gide through all the goodies on the menu.
then Noelle and I went back to Stephs wile she went to a uni friends party. well we chatted till steph came home then we had a sing song which was most fun as steph had written out most of the songs from Uganda.
next day we ran for the train to largs but missed it and went to another cost town and another island got sunburnd slightly walking around and put flowers in our hair hehe arnt we girlee.
eat lunch in a coffee shop which was the best and missed the ferry then nearly missed the next one as steph desided to run on ahead of us and get postcards?????? so i stood on the ferry wile Noelle waited on the dock leaving them behind would not of been to bad but steph made it so all was fine.
we split up in paisly they wanted to find the YWAM base there and I went to the battle of the bands which was good although the sound man did not do the bands justice. almost colapsed from exsorstion so left before the end and sleeped.
Had church came home sleept again did YF and sleept feeling much better after all that sleep.

well madness so tired so will blog better tomorrow if i have time but (to coin a phrase) God has totaly blessed me this weekend seeing Noelle and Steph we have had such a good time runing for trains running for ferryes and so forth wish there was more time to spend.
battle of the bands went off really well it is all good. head hurts ears rining have red face from the sun sleep know talk later.

Have had a nothingness morning done lots but feel like i have done nothing and have so much left still to do it is really rather depressing almost makes me wish i wasn't going to see Noelle and Steph thiseving and spend the day with them tomorrow almost. no i am really looking forward to seeing them it will be such good fun. eeeek need to get going so much to do so little time in which to do it all. arrrrrg

playing cheekers with my bro onl;ine most fun. had a really good day really tired but satisfiyed for once with my work at paisly which is good.
he just gave up on acount of me beating him into the ground ses it becasue mums shouting don't beleive him one inch. never mind bro one day they will put chess on and then you will beat me into the ground.
anyhow like i was saying fairly good day. the kids really liked circus skills and thought my balloon creations were fair which was good they were most impressed with the fact that i could do all these things without being in the curcus hobbys pay off it seems. yay

it shouldn't amaze me how much people change over time anymore but it does. I have been looking at photos of Andy one of my young people whos family i am staying with at the mo from before i come and he has changed so much but that is to be exspected he is still a young person. But it got me onto thinking about my friends and how much we must off changed. I mean take my school friend Dan (hey dan if your reading this) at school he was often ill really overwhight and the lovest guy around now he is not ill ever as far as i know slim and hunky (see i am nice arnt i) and even more of a lovely person. then there is the team i went to Uganda with it would take me mounths to list how all of them have changed after just seeing them for a few hours. now i wounder how much i have changed within myslef i wounder what it would be like to look though one of my old friends eyes at me. I also wounder how much the people i have fairly day to day contact with have changed to the people who new them before because we all change and effect each other wow isn't God amazing because it is really him doing all the changing and him who is putting you near the people who ar influancing you and and vise a versa wow. gonna stop rambaling but end with this last though how much to we effect the lives of people we only have a small amount of contact with people like shop attendace and waiter people like thoughs who sell the big issue? Do you think that we can change a life in less than a minit possibly not but we might make a day better.

i have a very strange fanominon going on here when i click the veiw blog link it somes up with some quite out of date posts and none of my more resant stuff but when i type in my blog adress maniualy then i see that the hole thing is working properly any clues why this might be happening?

just had a man come into my room and clib out of my window onto the roof.
this stange behaviour was not due to him having suisidel tendencyes at least he came back in after a bit he was a block cleaning the chimny but it made me feel quite unsettled so i went downstars till he had finished and gone.
watched vegie tales with steve this morning very good fun.

having a rotten day burst into tears early this afternoon which mean that the smallest thing sends me off crying for the rest of the day.
the origanl resions for bursting in tears was that i was in a meeting and it all just got to much because they were giving me information which it was hard to process.
processing things is getting harder i guess it is all about comeing to the end of the frist year and having a rotten week last week it will get better and i will servive. so ho hum the wind and the rain.

so tired have been on the go all day and if five minits need to be on the go again. good news about the flat happend though it is all gonna be fine and dandy and hopefully i will be in by the end of the frist week in june. but i shall not get my hopes up to high as it was said that it would be by easta.
now its time to go and do the final tuches to YF before I face the hords. :-)

went to see troy with others today very good film. then did youth cafe which was fun took the juggling stuff in made lots of random shapes with the balloons and no dodgy shapes which i was quite impressed by we had the largest numbers for a long time which was encoriging but only two leaders so we ewre both run off our feet for the intire evening.

well as you can see i got bord today and started messing round with my blog should have been looking for stuff for my YF on sunday but oh well i will do that in a bit.
so now i have a conter thingy and a tag bord thingy so that people can talk on here bit worred about the level of sadness i am showing at the mo oh well just keep swimming

had a good night a paisly brock up a fight just to have the boys in question at it again almost at once. this was over who would get first bat in the game of rounders that we were playing. it was all fun and gmaes considering this was a grils night and the boys were only playing because they happend to be on the field when we got there.

got back from paisly not the best night ever the Girls didn't come for the group so no need to worry about messing up with the circus stuff. and the boys put three nails in three diffrent tyres i had to be brought home by the AA not the best at all.
But i guess such is life. although i am alittle concrened that now they know that it is fairly easy to get under the bonet of my car eeeek.
Total drama happend though as the police come and took one of the boys away wile we were waiting for the AA this was because he was not behaving the night before.
have hayfever as well need anti hysamens but can't get any till the morning.
so genraly feeling quite low hopefully it will all look better in the morning.

Got my new juggling stuf this morning just in time phew so working hard to get all thoughs rusty skills back up to scrach before tonight it should be fun. I havn't done a workshop since the last christmas i spent at home more than a year ago bit scary and that was in balloons. eeek why did i offer to do this again?

had a talk with With Steve about life work and assesments it's all good he is a lovley man.
am woundering around ranbomly abit not sure what to do should be studying but so not in the mood to do that no real point since gotta go into kens in a bit oh well such is life still havn't worked out why college is weired.

I am having such a good week last night J YF were owsame they were stars entered into the discusion didn't do all the things that anoy me so much and were just great.
Having a bit of a weired day at college not sure why it feels wired it just does maybe its because its a study day but don't think so maybe because it's my frist study day since not living at the college strange.

The YF last night was brill we were talking about worship but then we got onto spritual gifts and had the best conversation about them what they are how we get them. they want more stuff on this next week which is really cool so loooking forward to next week.

Oh my life so so tried think I have had less than 6 hours sleep since i last blogged. but am still awake.
Maryes party was brill bouncing on boncy castles in a resently contructed barns upper floor which i mean recently contructed like finish minint to spare. all good of course since we were all damsels bocy castles were quite intesting on the hole showing alittle to much thigh side never mind we all ended up right at the end of the eving getting changed so we could really play.
It was so good to see the girls again they or you if it is one of you reading this have all changed to much how wounderful it is to see people after such a long time and see that that time has improved apon a masterpeace. Although I think that meeting more regualy would be a good idea.
fell aspleep on the train and ended up feeling quite sick by the time i got home but have battled though YF and am now contomplating a nice warm room with a nice warm bed and a good long sleep.

hot and sticky but happy.
all my new circus stuff is coming on tuesday just in time for my next workshop yay i have made friend with the nice man from the shop you have to i have spocken to him so much the past cupple of days as he and i messed up in the order department.

on the down side some boys stoll my brothers phon and sent me some very abusive Text messeges i new it wasn't ant but i was very upset by the hole thing they were getting quite prsonal. urk

Hotmail is rubbish it want let me get to my e-mails which is very vexing. I don't know the hole system has been playing up for the past cupple of days what is it with computers internet and such like not working why can nothing ever work properly sometimes i wish for the days of no comunication apart from handing you post to a person who was heading in the right direction and hopeing at lest that way you didn't get frustraited when things didn't work/ although the telliphone is quite a good idea maybe we should put all our money into maing teliphone better and make it free and then we would all be happy gonna stop rambling now as it is getting very silly.

Have super pain in the head. and a stupid flate tyer well both things can be fixed. I am sooooo looking forward to the weekend going down to Manchester to see all my bestest best friends in the hole world it is so exsiting i wish tomorrow was today and we were all together already. but sadley it all will end far to soon as i have to be back at church sunday to do YF in the evening oh well life goes on and we will have the best time till then.

have been sitting in my room all day feeling slightly nervose about essays to write but not doing anything of any real vaule towards getting them written to tired. Went to Bills to drop off some paper work and got cort in the rain which was a pain and a half i don't know silly me.
Just had dinner with the gran of the family that i am staying with she is a nice lady.
Pheona and i sat and worked out stuff that i might need for the flate and there is alot of stuff the main problem is that we don't know what is going to get left behind and whats not that is a project for next week ho hum it's hard life isn't it.

hummm still sick doing things i shouldn't like going into town and trying to go to work i know i should be resting i know before anyone else tells me off. I don't know it is just hard to take time off when you know that there is so much to do.
College libary as Kat and i discovered today does not have half the books that we need to write the essays that are coming up oops. she was off to complain when i left college today. arms feel like lead wights quite strange when typing going to sleep now. bye

tryed to go the college today but failed the virose type thing i have concored and it didn't take much of a push from Linda and Suzi to get me to go home. so i lasted all of 5 min which was fun going to sleep now don't rember the last time i had to sleep during the day not good not good at all.

feeling rotten have been since yesterday so have basicly spent the day in and around my bed which is sad since it was a nice day and so forth. never mind church was okay yesterday Wilma challenged the congratgtion with someting like 'just because you come to church it does not make you a chirstian' i was ready to go all penticostel and cheer but i think that have been discomunicated (if you can do that in a CofS) anyhow it was good then we took to YF to the cript at queens park baptic it was a good service andvery diffrent to what they are used to we are all gonna talk it over next week.

urk i think i am coming down with a cold urk apart from that fairly cheery if aperlutly exsorsted was supposed to go to the cinima last night with people from college i woke up in the morning and just new i was not gonna be feeling well enough after work to go and it would off been silly to stay over anyhow as i would have to come back to cathcart frist thing to have my supervisers meeting which was arranged last minit and then go back again to go to loch lomond which is our little trip today os jolly good sort of wish i could just lye in bed all day i am so tried you would not beleive i need a breack i think don't think i am gonna get one though.