Fog

well had a bit of a scary night last night after spending a day together where we were both feeling prittty ill and tired i had to take gordon home as he had to work today. on my way back i the fog rolled in i have never driven in anything like it i was quite freacked out by the whole exsperance. but survived so thats gotta be a plus.

got my new phone at last :) they forgot to give me the bluetooth headset :( fed up

lights fumes and fun

Gordon and i went to visit his dad and his wife last weekend we drove down on friday night then we drove back up yesterday.
it was a good weekend we went to a car boot sale on saturday morning then waited around blackpool and the sea side for the lluminations to come on.
Gordon and i went on the big one which was great although long long que we think that it might be worth it going back down and getting all day bands to go on the pleasure beach one time.
we lost the family at this point and had a good few minits sitting by the sea. when we found them again we found they were in the park.
we then went to a little cafe to have a drink and a sandwidge.
the lights where cool to start with but got alittle dull to end with partiuclay as it took 2 hours to get through them all the fumes and over load of information did it in for my head and i felt sick for pritty much the rest of the night urg got home and went strait to bed luckly Gordons dad could drive my car so i was able to avoid driving on the motoway that night.

a good night

i got one of the progect scotland young people to come out with me last night to start making shure the routes that i have worked out for the detached work, work. there is only one area that is magely suspect for lighting so far so i think that that is a success the young person Danny is all up for partinoning the council to get lighting put in as well which was amusing i think we will get the teams out first so that the council can see the benifits then maybe we shall do that sorta thing.

blar

been working hard but feels a little like we are going round in circuls and i am not sure how much i can decide on my own.
got ill towards the end of the week have been up chucking for good measure for the last two days am okay now just abit weak.
looking forward till tomorrow Gordon and I are spending the day together and pretending it is his beithday again so that he can have a nicer day we are also trying to get some other friends to go out so we shall see.

he didn't pass his test which sucks he will next time though

complete maddness

well this last week has been insain to say the least.
starting with the crazy trip up from nans in the car we are talking nelson (wales) to perth (scotland) almost the intire lenth of the country and then acrross it. i got lost only once on my own and when i picked gordon up at manchester which was insain i think that we only got lost once to. he is doing well with his driving felt completely fine in the car with him till we where driving back to perth not the day of the mamoth trip but a few days later and he hit the curb at speed have been more wary since. through i do think he will pass his test watch this space.

we went to see chris and louise on wenesday which was also Gordons birthday we had a lovley night although was not impressed at the slightly hair brained plan to put and arm chair in the back of my car at 12:30 at night when i had to take Gordon back to broxburn and drive myself back to perth.
well this night did not gt any better Gordon drove to get the practice and the police stoped us (they seemed more bord and making things up than angry) Gordon was locked out of his flat so he had to come and stay in my spar room and on the way to perth was when the curb hitting happend.

we also met up with some of gordons friends from drumchaple on friday night which was fun i hate hate hate the glasgow motorway arrrg.

we mangiged to spend sat and most of today together as well but mostly sleping and weeping because i am soooooo tired.

playing at solidors

well we went to a army training centre and did lots of fun things like playing on a shooting rang doing an asult course which id did not get to do much off being the only femal leader and the only person who got and injury being a girl i had to stay with her and make sure she was okay which was dull but fine. we played lazor quest twice in three days (i went to leza quest on the weekend with Gordon and his young people which was rad) and did some team skills puzzels.

i don't know if i am altogether happy with what we did today though what message did we give the young people we took. ws it that it is cool to kill and play with gun is it that all we think they can acheive is to join the army is it that we are fine with vilance or a whole host of other things.

although i started to make some good realtionships with the young people from the Y today particualy the girls and those realtionships will have been spring borded by today i am not happy with what i think i have allowed myself to be party to. i have also shot myself in the foot as to standing up agenst this sort of things. this is hard where is my middle grond.

week 2 over and done

yes friday afternoon and week two of work is over. if all had gone well today i would have been on my way to wales to pick up my new car but all did not go well due to silly terroists on plains so i can't do it this weekend so getting my car has been put off for a week hohum.
today had an okay day got on with some work but was not as productive as i have been at pervous time it is hard working in the ymca with people who are supposed to just muck in when you are on a project that means that you can't really do that. i think that it is already breading some tenion but such is life these are things that i have to learn to deal with.

practical jokes

bit of a slow dull office day worked on the policys for the project which means that i will be able to put together a basic tranning course and start on the publisity and soon start recruting watch out Perth here i come.

the guys played a practical joke on me towards the end of the day they phoned the office and pretended to be one of the local youth workers and they asked me a load of random questions and there me miss gulibal fell for it they didn't even sound like the guy which is really frustrating.

oh well the joys of working in an office i guess

today

things are hotting up in work now the project is definatly starting to take shape and it is only my second week i have been meeting other local projects connect (drug intervention project) and the youth enquiry service this morning. then went out for a walk about with PC Scot Robbinson this afternoon which i loved. otherwise have been making leaflets and starting to put together other bits and bobs that the project needs. i have an office day tomorrow so will get alot of that sorta stuff done then.

perth the epic

tehe well i did an emily and forgot my laptop mum has just posted it to me oops.
i am in my flat all safe and sound now tehe forgot my keys as well as the laptop so that was actualy harder than it sounds. had to stay in a hotel the first night after a 10 hour journy up the country the trains where baddly baddly delayed.

things have gone more smoothly since then though and i started my new job with very few hicks. my frist week was great got to exsplore some of the other work of the YMCA and met up with Allan which was good.

went to see Gordon in Edingbough which was good we got lunch in a ittalian buffet which was not good oh not good at all. but we had a nice walk and sat in the park and chatted till he had to go to work and i had to go home.

that sat he came over but had big bad headake so we took the day slowley nice walk on the north inch and eat a str fry for tea.

this week i am sorting out buying my nans car off her and driving it back up the country eeek it is all sooooo complicated.

kiaking

Ant Chris and i went Kiaking on the nene last night was sooooo much fun.
although it looked like we where not going to get to do it for a time as the duty offcier was late and no one new why and there was no instructor to lok after us begingers on the water.
but it all came together a lovely man called chris offered us to join his class and basicly spent the whole time working with me and chris and helping us get up to speed it was great. much better than the last time i understand a lot more of the macanics.
i am hoping to find something similar in scotland :)

i also wore chris out jouring the day with a walk into town and going to the park i have not seen him today but am sure he slept well.

spent today packing up my room so that chris will be able to move in there when i go up don't know how good a job i have one but i am sure it is a start threw out four bin bags worth of rubbish and there are two more to go to the charity shop eeeek.

chuch

church was good this morning got commisioned to go out and prayed with it was also a lovley service bill lead it and spoke on amos which i really like.

feeling very low about the whole new church issue not only have i got to find a new church but it looks like it is going to create tensions with Gordon which does not help decress the nervousness one feels before you go into a new situation with lots of people you don't know and stuff like that. i guess it is just one of those thing.

Church this morning was good and God was really moving and working and i know that he will be there whatever and even if things do get hard in this area i can relie on that.

back in mum

been at dads all last week which was nice although i really wish that he would stop worring about entertaining me.
although on the entertainment side of things we went to see sunday in the park with Goerge which was great all done with really cool projections and little animations which was really nice.
went to windsor and we went for a walk in the other direction along the jublie river towards maidenhead had a meal in the pineapple which was really nice. got really badly sunburned for it mind.
spent a good amount of time in the garden with my book which was good.

at work with mum

possibly the most boring place in the world i have been filling envilopes with the contents of folders so that mum can fix her shelves humm fullfilling.
now am makin a cup of tea for people yay.
going to meet antie linda for lunch so that should be nice and then come back here for more fun and games like this morning.
mum had some great excitment over some new flat screen monitors that she bought for the office score.

at home

well i have spent the last week at home it has been quite enjoyable as i am getting plenty of space to do what i want when i want and if i want.
so far have seen dan we for a walk have been to the pics with my little brother over the hedge is a must see it is pure brillance had me and my 18 year old and 10 year old bothers in stiches for the most part. we also eat kfc which was fun lots and lots of junk.
today spent the morning relaxing at home and went to the park for a picnic with Gen and Dan which was lovley we looked for cloud shaps talked and relaxed. Gen and i went back to her house met up with her boyfriend pete and watch a stand up comedian who they had a video of billy something or other and not the scotish one it was a good afternoon.
came home to find nan had sent me some really nice ear rings i am really pleased cannot get through to her to say thanks though she is clearly living it up somewhere will talk to her later.
dinner soon i hope my tummy requires nurrishment our picnic was all junk well that is apart from the stuff the Gen bought.

final goodbye

well i said my final goodbye to the college sunday morning after saying bye o dad cleaning my room got in the car with all the stuff i had left and drove away for the last time as a resident sure will be back.

it was a long drive i was glad mum and rob had brought a dvd player which the boys and i puged earphones into and watched verrouse things the downside was when the car was turned off we lost our place and there was not remote control to get into the sean menu. i also read some of my book which was good.

had a bath when i got home very good

Graduation

its all over have finaly Graduated its quite strange really you don't feel any different and yet you feel like you should and the weiredest thought of all is that after the college summer holidays you will no longer have the college routeen to slip back into. you really have to step out of your comfort zone now and be a real adult scary.

After dad and i Got back from town i went to get ready Gordon had two busses go past his so i was getting really stressed about that, not his fault stupid busses. Mum turned up and told me tthey had to go into town but they gave me a lovley cross to go with my dreess which put me in a bit of a pickle as dad had given me a cross that was diannas grandmothers and i had said i would wear that. so i wore the green one that mum gave me for the grad and the gold one that dad gave me for the meal after i think that that was okay but what else could i do.

mum forgot my shoes left them at the hotel so she had to got me some from town otherwise it would have been blue ugandan flip flops. this did not help my nerves.

they all went of and linda turned up which was good she and i chatted as i got ready and josh joined us for walking down to the church very nice. dad went of to the cathedral was sad to leave Gordon at the flat yes he had gott there in plenty of time after all but i did not trust my perants to get the to church i supose it would have been a bit dull for him and his mum to have sat in the church for an hour anyway.

we got robed up and waited for instructions which seemed to take foreverr stood around and chatted. they had made a alturation to the seromny this year not only was it in the barreny but we where going to have our hoods put on us on the stage by tony this sounded quite cool but we had to carry the things in a certain way and most of us where worred about putting them down at all whichw as a pest.

the shoes arrived just in time but where to big i made do it was all quite funny at least i had shoes that was the main thing.
we proceded through the church and sat down in the order we where to go up in. there was some chat then the names where bein read out.
serously weired walking across the stage as what i was doing next was read out got through it and did not trip up which was a good thing.
the rest of the service seemed to take forever
then we processed out which was good.

tea afterwould was nice gott my portate taken talked to my lecturues had chris follow me around which was also nice.

went for tea it was very load in the buffet king but thats life felt really ill by the end of it.

but had enough omph left for a cup on hot choc on the way home with dad Gordon and his mum.

a good day all in all

feeling weired getting stressed being bord and other stuff for a week

well the week before graduation was intresting to say the least.
neil Kenny and I had a great laugh taking my stuff up to perth and packing it into the flat. but when i got home things felt very weired and my trouble sleeping increased funny how these things effect us.
Linda moved out which was also weired missed her being next door a lot.

Gordon and i had a nice day together slighly mired though by the fruitless search for a dress in livingston we gave up n the end as there was nothing i really like i decided to go to Glasgow the next day think Gordon my be tromatised for life by the exsperance of me looking for a nice dress. did find an ideal one in monsson took my £10 over budget and left me no money for shoes but thats a graduation story which i will tell in the next post.
but felt better after spending the day together and sleept better for it as well it was a really nice day.

next day found the dress avoided doing work as i was not feeling all that hot and went and had tea with Gordon and his mother which was nice fish and chips which i love.

brings us to wenesday which i also spent with Gordon and his mother we went swimming had tea out and went to the open air theater in pinces park to watch midsummer nights dream where alittle to cloes to the back to hear properly but we moved forward in the second half and that was much better really enjoyed it although was very ill by the end of the day. we always try and do to much and i get ill need to stop doing that soon.
i could not get home was so ill so sleept on Gordons mothers floor and that was okay had to spend most of thursday in bed trying to be well enough for club which was my final one.
was not really well enough but got there all the same. but we where just about ready to let the kids in when we had a power cut which meant we could not gave out the dvds i promised but sucked not being able to say fairwell to the kids as i would have liked.

they had chocolate cake for me as a final good bye and they gave me some rennie mackintosh mugs which are really nice. very very sad to leave though.

friday catrinora treated me to going to the hairdressers and dad arrived he was an hour and a half late silly vergin trains so we did not get to do much in the evening went to wagambas and converted dad to japaness food yay go me.

mum arrived so late that they could not join us for food or see us on the friday.

sat morning took dad to the goma bit of a disasta he hated it and there was no where else to get to in the amount of time although we went to the Rennie mackintosh tea rooms which he did like. feeling alittle stressed about getting ready and organising people to be at the right place at the right time started to get a headake.

this is a bit out of order but we all went out on the town on satuday night and had a good night all in all the last time this little group will be together for a long wile.

oooph

feeling it today my last two weeks have just begun gave neil my essay to have a look at hopefully he will think that it will pass and i wont have to see it again.
been very upset for most of the day partly due to the fact that the bbq that was going to be on my last friday had to be moved back to sunday and so i can't make it.
haveing problems with assurtiveness not really maniging the whole thing very well.
i am so tired i just wan to curl up in a little ball and sleep.
we are moving my stuff up on friday spoke to my landlady and she was quite happy with that so thats exsiting feels very weird in my room with most of my stuff packed away hummm all fun and games.