smokers

so i was standing outside neros waiting for allan to come and have a coffee with me when this cuy with a suitcase flicks his cigeret bud in my direction much to my indeignation it almost hits me and worse still could have ruined my new top on its first outing since frenzy. was about to say somthing along the lines of are you clind i am standing right here. when a police man comes up and says you know its a criminal offence to drop cigaertte buds on the streets in perth and fines the guy £50!!! feeling that me moaning about him nearly hitting me would after that be sault in the woond i leave it be. have no problem with the police mans actions there was a bin with an ash tray oh about four paces to the laft of the guy and another one about 6 paces to the right and another on the other side of the street directly oppersit and i think that it would have been less of a hardship for him to just go and put the discusting thing out properly even if the police had not spotted him.

coffee with allan was lovley

crazed times

quite an eventful weekend it has to be said.

friday night maddness totaly mad went to work and found that we had two new starts which was cool both very nice girls but of course not sure what they are doing yet!! and we had two tables of ten plus a full restraint very stressful. worked very hard but somehow managed to overlook a cupple for 45 minuits or at least thats what they said yikes. they wanted irish coffee so con made them two which they sent back because one of the coffees had mixed with the cream :-s this seemed to be the last straw for con he slamed the coffees down spilling them everywhere and ran out. so it was me and the two new starts left to man the fourt hummm hard work we managed though would not say wounderfully but we did.

frenzy was great took to of Gordons young people which was lovley they seemed abit over orred by the whole thing to start with but soon got into it saw loads of friends saw some wounderful bands old and new and just had the best time. although i thought it was a shame that we did not have a few more home grown bands up seemed to mainly be American bands but saying that they where brill.

sunday lazer tag after church took 31 young people to lazer tag great fun got very sweaty and came first in our group the first game and 3rd the second game which was a rather large supprise for me. then we got back to the church and had a bbq which perants came to and the people from the eve service had a burger to which was lovley. got the circus skills out although did not run the workshop, partly because i wanted food and partly because the young people where so spread out with the stuff it was impossible to do it. tort three how the juggle though and a few got the plate spinning, one young man was brill at the power stick was so impressed.

interveiw scaryness 2

yesterday was quite a day goodness the amount of driving i did i would have gotten half way home. first went to college to see neil which was lovley some things never change we had a nice chat about life the univers and camp.

then i went and saw linda and talked about dogs, big brother and other important topics lol bliss then got changed in her bothroom for the interveiw. and i don't think i look that much like a bank manager in my suit lol even if linda thinks i do.

went to saltcoats and ended up driving past the church sevril times before i finally found it urg. sat in the car and did my make-up and sprad on the perfum it was such a hot day i was so sweaty. one of the people in the church spoted me and brought me in to sit in a room in the church. not sure if i was ever so happy about this i was quite contant sitting in the car sorting my self out and listening to the radio i felt slightly rushed but hey.

the interveiw was sertainly not the worst i have been to and i think it is somewhere i could work quite happly. so we shall see

asta la vista

wery excited in slightly in pain this afternoon.
went to the wart clinc at my local gps this afternoon and he blasted my warts so hopefully in the next few days they will drop off and die wohoo and i will feel more beautiful. i mean one came on my nose which is just the last straw i have put up with them far to long as it is i counted 12 this morning in the bath yikes.
but anyhow he got the cold stuff that i can't remeber what its called and blasted the things yay although i almost fainted after the whole process which was a bit imbarrising since it really was not all that painful.

so the doc said give it four weeks and if they have not droped off come back and we will have another go. yikes

didn't get the north berwick job

don't totaly upset or supriesed but rejection never the best

maintance

doing amintance on my life clean flat send of application forms put away shopping and so forth. things are pritty dull at the moment working at the restrant is okay but i know its oly temporary the people are nice one of the waitress has been coming up to see me inbetween shifts because she lives outside perth and has no where else to go but i enjoy having the compony so thats good.

insperation

possibley have some insperation as to what i might end up doing but wont say to much see if things work out but feeling quite chipper today which is good.

had coffee with neil w who is back in the uk but not for long by the sounds of things but it was very nice to see him and think of the better times at the y so thats good.

the walls are closing in

went to the job centre today. not much fun but had to be done the two main things i needed i did not have which is a big annoyance because i am still waiting on other people for them.

arrrrrrrrg

fed up

having a bit of a ruff morning medication making me feel not so well which does not help. but the annoying thing is that this guy keeps phoning me. he used to live in my flat and apparently is looking at moving back to perth so he wanted to know when i was moving out which i told him to bugger off to. this was very rude and insensertive so i am sorry if you know this guy but i think that most people will understand why i am annoyed.

interveiw scaryness 1

my interveiw in noth berwick went okay i think i am not sure that they will offer it to me though the other candidate was older and male and i suspect thats what they are looking for.
very tired need to go away and pray about it because it may be the right place for me i could sertainly do the job.

feeling a bit parlaised i don't want to end up in the wrong place but i don't want to miss the right place because its a bit outside my comfort zone or even in this case looks like it may be a bit back in my confort zone.

feeling the burn

tuesday did two shifts at the restraint which was cool learned how to use the card money stealer machems and the till properly also leaned how to make basic coffee which was cool although anything more complicated than that still scares me.

genna left early on the night shift well not early for her she had been on since 5 but it was still quite dounting but it was okay no one asked for coffee and there was only one case of advanced maths with someones bill.

had to pull myself out of bed yesterday morning because gordon had left some stuff in the boot of my car. or so we thought but neither of us thought to check till i got down there opend the big box that was still in my boot to find that it was empty arrrrg. went and got a small desk for his friday group so the trip was not totaly waisted although was so tired

went to the doctor in the afternoon she put me on anti depresants but i guess that was on the cards whatever hope they help.

i luv my little brother

i had a very intesting convo with someone at my work about disorders
more spifacly mine (Asperger syndrome and number of others)
it opened my eyes up to a lot of intersting stuff that i have now forgotn :P
but what it did make me think most about is that everyone has these disorders in a way just some (like me) show it more then others
and that i have never if i never give up i will always do better then anyone else as i aproce things at a diffant angle to everyone else

Antony Cowley


this is something my little brother put on his blog recently i thought it was quite profound particualy for him the man obsessed with spoons (you need to read his blog to understand)

friends are good

went to bridge of allan yesterday and met up with Josh, Rachel, Chris and Louise. we all trooped out to a italian which was slightly exspensie for what it was but had nice enough food all the same. and was a good place for the banter to begin.

then we went for a long drive Gordon took the wheel which was good because i got to look at the pritty veiw and point out intresting sheep but i think slightly stressful for him because Chris is his current driving instructor so even though he was in the car it ment he felt a bit nervous much fun.

we went up to a little pub which apparently was quite nice although we arrived and it was closed so we just went back to josh and rachels and eat pudding which was best really. we looked at josh and rachels wedding photos and then gordon pulled up the onse that he had tacken of chris and louises wedding much oooowing and aring all very good.

had a heavy debate about hell and weather or not it exists (it does) and genraly it was a nice time

had to leave gordon at the station which sucked.

angry so angry

the studpid ymca have still not sent me my p45 so i can not go into the job centre tomorrow and clam my benifits i am so angry i think i may exsplode.

they also have not sent me the reports or given back my heater. arrrrrrrg

back to basics

well it has been another eventful few days.
i have now got two confurmed interveiws yay although the last one phoned up at 10:45 on thursday night. they where luky i wasn't in bed already yikes.
Gordon and I had been to see 28 weeks later which was horrid i hated it but i don't partcualy like horror films so there we go i can see for what it was it was alright although gordon said it was not as good as the first one.

yesterday after a whole heap of running around with gordon i started my part time job at the restrant.

felt very nevrous and quite out of it for most of the night only 4 years since i used to do it all the time and restrant waiting it very different to eventing. but am getting there and con seemed to be pleased with the eve so we shall see. doing tuesday lunch and dinner next week. this unfortunatly means that i can't go to my house group any more which really really really sucks.

eventfull

well the last few days have been pritty eventful!! i went to this church on sunday and decided that i would give it a shot and so i will phone them tomorrow and let them know and see if they want to go further with me.
yesterday i went to cons for lunch which was lovley although con had to leave leaving me and adrean to have a chat about the whole depressing process of getting benifits. but wile we where talking about all that he phoned us up and said might i consider working in his restrant part time. which would be a bit of a laugh and would get me out of the house. so today went down to the citz advice and asked about the amount i am aload to work and still get benifits which is less than 16 hours and you arnt alload to earn more than £81 in any one week shocking.

so we are looking at weather this will work for the restrant.
than i came home to find an e-mail inviding me to an interveiw for the north berwick christian youth trust. i am quite hopeful about this although i know that i am up against two other people who probly have not been fired from their last job.

ooops and shocking

well i have been relably misinformed today much fun i went to the gateway church where i have never been before and had a wee bit of trouble finding to go to this conferance with the YWAM guy i was quite looking forward to it.

but it was disapointed to find that i had the wrong week ooooops

then i came home vir curryes with the caretaker of the church went and looked at camreas with him which was a nice bit of light releaf.

the shocking thing today was i got a letter for Kirki babitsed church saying that they cannot look at my application for their youth minister job because i would need to become an elder and to be a elder in this church i need to be a man which clearly i am not shocking (they did say they where looking at that policy but haddn't really yet) am quite disapointed as the job did sound good.

final

so i went into the YMCA this morning gave back the equipment and stuff and got my books and things back. it was okay feeling a bit low though which is possibley not good.

intresting thing is that they where not sure weather or not they had written reports of the things that lead to my dissmisal. but anyhow we shall see.

i think it went well

well the discusion went well. i really like the idea of this job but will have to give it some thought and prayer.

infact thats what i have been sent off to do and i am to talk to the pastor again on wenesday and see if we are thinking along the same lines.

excited

i have just had a very exciting phone call!!!!!!!!! a minister from a local church has just rung me to say that they are looking for a youth and comuntiy worker and may be intrested in hireing me. we are meeting tonight which is very cool and we shall see where it goes from here but even if it goes no where it is a bit of a boost to my spirets which is really something that i needed

spiderman 3

after a day of running about doing slightly frustraiting things which we shall not get into. Gordon and i went to see spiderman 3 in livingston yesterday it was exerlant i really thuraly enjoyed it. Gordon seemed to think that they had tryed to do to much with the story but i don't agree i think the different plots where all done very well. and the action seens where awesome which is good.

we arrived a bit early so we went into pizza hut and had icecream factory and drinks which supprised our waitress but hey it wasn't very bussy so she wasn't bothered.

i have the day to myself today

its funny

isn't it strange i have been so busy for the last few months and have not had any time to update my blog and now that i have loads of time on my hand i am updating it relitivly regulay but i have very little to put on it. but i guess part of my resoning for keeping the thing is so that i can look back myself as well as keeping people aware of what i am up to in my life.

anyway what have i been doing the last few days went to see gordons friends from drumchaple on saturday. which was nice. although the time before it was very frustraiting and though no one fault other than the people who maintain the forth road bridge. gordon could not get up here on his own steam even though he spent three hours trying he only ended up just on the other side of the bridge in roysth so i had to go and get him.

went to the nazereen yesterday it was a good service the preaching was very relivant which was good.

eeek tired

goodness i mean when you are free of responserbilites (apart from sorting out the rent and bills eeek) people will always find things to fill up your time. :P you know who you are Gordon

spent yesterday in broxburn and i mean all day i got up at 6 to try and get there for 7:40 i had forgotten what it was like to get up at 6 i mean it was okay when you where at school and had to do it most days (although it may have been a course of some of my illness). the annoying thing is that even though i left rediucaly early missing my chance to vote i did not get there in time which ment a lot of hassels for Gordon and his team today this was due to crazyness on the forth road bridge and me takeing another route because at least i would only be 20 minits late as aposed to two hours late if i stayed on the bridge.

but the long and short of it is that we missed picking up the young people that we needed to pick up no young people came to the school breckfast club and it was all a bit of a waist of time.

then we went to his office he is so bad at deligating i sat and read my book (arther and george which i would recomend if you are inbetween books at the mo) interposed by nipping out to get becon rolls doing some gilerteening and the odd hug :) (the best bit)

i then drove or let Gordon drive around the primary schools to drop off leaflets and stuff leaving him as the school for a meeting. and then went and got his car from the garige what fun because he has not yet passed his test it ment that i had to go in my car pick his car up leave my car get a taxi back and pick up my car on later reflection i think i should just have got a taxi there and saved some petrol but you just do as your told at the time don't you.

Gordon was delayed in the school so i went to the country park to read untill he came out still spent far to much time sitting outside the school but it is quite fun to watch the group dynamics of secondary school kids i just hope i didn't look to weired.

we went to the country park again it being such a lovley day and i was draged up and down hills because i needed the happy hormons to start pumping (humph)

the fanal part of the work day was a meeting with the youth night guys which was long. it needed to be long admitdly but when you have been going all day particualy when you have just been the chauffeur all day and not much else you might want to go home.

thats not where it ended though gordon then said i have no food will you take me to the shop and get some no remeber we are now heading for ten at night and the only shop open in 15 min drive in the wrong direction arrrrrrg sucker me said okay and eneded up walking around asdas until ten. well i didn't get home till 11:30 so am nackered.

have to go into the y today and pick up my stuff and hand over the stuff that still at my flat this is a scary prospect.

had a hair cut

i got a hair cut today it was really badly needing it and i could not possibley go to interveiws with it in the stat it was in. it looks okay alittle short maybe but hey.

thats about it life is still prity dull have not heard from any new jobs or got any interveiws yet but we have to stay possitive really

so low today

i think that over the last weekend it has all finaly hit home feeling very depressed today.

Gordon and i went on this church tresure hunt yesterday and all i could think was please please let there be no one else in our car i can't do social. i have never been so afraid to go to church and see people the very idea of social things is making me feel sick and yet i guess life goes on and i have to face these things.

the tresure hunt was good lots of good ideas to nick for my own work

ten hours later

traveled the rest of the way back up the country yesterday. was so tired when i got in went to bed about 8:30pm scary stuff but it is ruffly a ten hour journy with lots of stoping and starting. although saying that i have been on much much worse trains all of them had powerpoints so played the sims all the way back up.

today back to reality i have to start dealing with losing my job finding out my rights getting another job. not feeling depressed even trying to see my boyfriend which is harder than it should be really.

am feeling very very very low but am aload to i think

after jos wedding

we left about 11 because the drivers where tired and we needed not to crash on the way home slowley everyone fell asleep which was not good for poor old keith as he was driving and just as tired as all of us.
when we got back to ruths we all went strait to bed and really strait to sleep we where so recked.
next morning steph gordon and i got a lift in plymoth to catch respective trains and buses steph and i where on the same train to birminaham which was lovley we made cards and chated and played just a minit gordon got a bus he was flying from exitor.

the trains out of birminan where all mesed up which was annoying i had to get on two different couchs and spent 2 hours getting to lester where i had to get another train to wellinbough which really annoyed me and i was so tired by the end of it i felt quite ill when i got home.

think i will head back up to scotland tomorrow and face my world again.

jos wedding

the wedding seromany was wounderful so beautiful. there was so much love and scriture and god was totaly in every moment of it.
the minister was clearly well known to both bride and groom and made some very wounderful points.
jos dress looked amazing infact she looked amazing.

after the sermoney we waited around wile photos where tacken the waiting staff desided we where good people to feed and came and stood with plates of ontrays its was most amusing gordon comented that he had exspected us to be all who could eat the least and lady like which made me laugh not us we where never like that :)

the markee was beautiful althoguh the centre peaces got in the way much to nics horro erica moved the one on our table so that we could see each other properly. it was quite amusing :)

they had a band to play wile we ate and then after dinner for dancing which was great fun although i always feel so clumsy and stiff on the dance floor partucualy since it was all ballroom stuff eeek but steph and i had a giggle to begin with and then gordon cut in which was good i like dancing with him i know if i fall down i wont end up in a heap :)

we chated to jo breifly servril times which was lovley its a shame we could not have got her over the night before but of course these things never work like that.

i hope she and frank are very happy and i am sure they will be

before jos wedding

after my bad news on monday i wanted the stuff about jos wedding seprate so here is the story of my weekend.

i traveled down to devon from mums on friday where i met steph and ruths mum who took us to ruths house where all where waiting for us.
we had a grand old time giggling over dinner (well rouckus laghter would be closer) and walking up hills on dartmore brill. so much fun so good to see all the girls again some of which i have not seen for years and years.

when we got up there was a mad dash for the bathroom and genral astonisment at how short a time i took which was quite amausing.
got dressed far to quickly and was waiting around giving advice to the others as to their outfits although not very good at all that stuff. we all got very exsited.

made a packed lunch and jumped into cars headed off to truro to pick gordon up arrived over and hour early so entertained ourselves with african cards (most approperate)

was so good to see gordon i am missing him so much we have not had much time alown together this month i feel bereft. the grils all planed to jump on him and chickend out at the last minit which i am sure he was glad about :) although he did not know about the plan at the time.

pliled into cars again and went to jos house where we walked around for an hour the wedding to start

what on earth is going on

monday last week. it all went to pot and this time a really mean it. i had two meetings the first one was with funders and i was late which was not the best but in the grand sceam of things not that big and deal.
but then after work we had a meeting about my future as sidewalk coordinator and i my one months notice was told i did not have to go back in other than to clear my desk and sent home. this sucks more than words can say.
i have worked hard i have done what i was employed to do to the best of my ablities but i feel like i have been left go because i would not do things that where not part of my job in the first place and because i am not load enough to build superfiasl realtionships off the bat. they seem to have really unrealistic exspections of what detached youth work should look like and how fast it should move. i am not saying i have not made mistakes but what i am saying is that i do not feel that things where going badly enough to get the sack. but then again where one door closes ten more open there will be something better for me unfortunalty i really need to find it in less than a month. :S

EXERSIZE

feeling somewhat achy this eveing have been to the gym and to the beach today. we took the young people from the Y to the body pump induction at rodneys which was soooooo hard i have worked musels i did not know i had then i feel over on the way back to work afterwoulds.
in the afternoon we all went down to the beach which involved rock climbing scrabling through streams and genral hard work but it was good fun. so hey ho.

Gordons mum comes tomorrow

Wales

Gordon and I have just got back from a very enjoyble weekend in Wales inface am actualy wishing we had more time there which is some what of a first (i must be growing up)
we went to Aberdare and I showed him where i grew up we also met up with Carla which was brill and watched the England Wales Rugby where England where beat but we didn't mind. we went to her boyfriends vodka bar and tryed lots of different flavored vodkas which was also very fun. shame we could not have stay longer but the call of my nans home cooking lured us away.
we went to nans chapple (baptice church for you scots) and hung around on sunday and on monday nan and gramps took us to st faggins museam of welsh country life which was fab!!!
a good weekend all in all

up side down world

things are not getting much better at work but i guess i am coming to turms with it and so coping with it better. but oh my it is not easy. particulay when they havn't done what they said they would do like give me proper targets to reach they have given me some very lovy dovy action points and thats pushing it for a discription. i am so cross you would not beleive. but also so bad at conflict that you would not beleive either. building up the corrage and the matiral to go back to them and say this is how i would like things to be and this is the best way to change them.

and i thought stress ended in college

well have had a very eventful week or so things have definatly not been good.
i had my line managment meeting last thursday where jill (my line manager) told me that at my last managment meeting they had desided that instead of confurming my postition as the sidewalk coordinator that they where going to prolong my probation period for another three months and give me some targets to reach during that time.
well clearly me being me i have not tacken this very well i am not good at this sorta things at all but i should get these targets this afternoon and when i do i will see if they are reasonable and see where we go from their.
am keeping my options opens for now

very strange thing

i swoped my blog over to the new type (something to do with google) and i seem to have started posting on two blogs which means i have two missing posts on this one which is the one that i have been keeping for the last three years and two random ones somewhere else i am not making much of a fuss since neither of the two post where ground brecking as i am sure everyone who reads this blog will understand as not much of it is :) i enjoy keeping it mind which is sorta the point.

so whats going on well we went out last night and the young people where amazing we had three convosations and i mean convosations not three contacts i feel that we are starting to one get known by the young people and two be able to start chatting about important things all very exciting really.

we are going out tonight once a month on saturday is better than never on saturday is my philophay although i am fighting to get enough people to be out on saturday every week we can dream.
although when we have sessional workers that will be alot more easy.

this morning went to a meeting about a youth service that is to start happening in perth i have some reservations about the way that the youth workers in perth are going about setting up ie the fact that there where no young people at this meeting just workers and they did not seem to have consulted with any young people about what the vision should be. but hey their hearts are in the right place and not everyone has done a degree in these things. i can't justify being part of this project as work so i know have the problem that i have to see if i can justify spending some free time supporting them. they do need people and it seems a shame when i am nagging for vols all the time that i am not willing to give up some of my free time but then again i have limited free time and if it would interfer with time with Gordon, friends and so on then i have to really be careful about it. there are also the health implications that i have deal with so we shall see.

taking some time

have been giving my spare room (gordons room) a clean there was paper and boxes everywhere paper left from bringing the final lot of stuff from home and the boxes full of stuff from Gordons flat that does not fit in his room in the shared flat he has moved to.

so it is feeling better in here although i still need to make the bed and hover the floor.

church this morning was good all about love which was to exspected with valuntimes day coming up and i got a meeting with the minister tomorrow so hopefully we will have another church invovled in the project which is brill.

we went to see chris and louise yesterday which was lovley really wounderful. we played scene it the music addition i of course was abuslutly no good at it so was religated to dice througher. ho hum although i did get one question right.

"youth conferance" oh dear oh dear

i don't think that the people who organised the youth confrance that i was at today have quite got the idea.
it was well dull is a word that would decribe it wrong is another word missleading another and inaproperate for young people.
the topic looked good conquoring your thoughts the sub points were good at the heart of all sin is a thought you had to think of doing something before you do it. went through negative things that can happen to make you think negative thoughts and different things that we have to avoid to keep our minds clean. yup it could have been brill.
but there was no oppurtuity for disscusion the young people including myself where made to sit and listen to this guy from singapour talk at them for three hours with at the end of each of his bit another guy getting up and going over the first guys points again arrrrrrrrrrg.
there was also some serouse problems with the theology that was being tort it may have been langwige barriors but at times it felt like our percher (couse thats all he could be described as) was saying god stops loving people when they sin! that we should be completely seprate from the world ie go into the christian bubble and never come out to talk to none christians and so forth.
at the breif time that was given for feedback questions no one spoke exsept a stupid old dude with a really stupid question about angles which was anwered really badly. clearly none of the young people had really engaged with the topic in hand.

it frustraits me so when i go to stuff like that because it could be so good if i or any of my follow students had been given the reins there could have been disscusion more questions more intresting ways of persenting the information and we could also have made sure the dude was not gonna spote rubbish that just confusses the young poeple.

i would also have had a jargon buster session he used terms like fear of god exspecting the young people to know exsatly what it meant and i know for a fact that i did not know what that meant when i was a young person.
fyi it means

What does walking in the fear of the Lord mean? It certainly does mean to worship with reverence and awe. But it means to live in fear of displeasing the Lord. ...... but let me exsplain what i mean. a deep true fear of God will keep you from comitting adultery - because of what it does to God, Church, to the one you would be involved with to you, your spouse and family, and to you.
R.T. Kendall (out of the comfort zone)

ill

it seems all i ever am is ill sometimes but hey just had the lurgy bad am back at work now but still recovering if i am being truthful

looking forward to getting out and meeting some young people on friday still a few days to go before i can do that and another volunteer to find eeek.

oh and i have this youth unlimted group to do before that which should be good but we shall see.

lead a session on alcohol and drugs last week it went well although you really don't wish to do that sort of thing with you boss in the room but never mind.

christmas

christmas was great bussy though Gordon and i drove down on chirses birthday which was lovley we went to the chiness buffet in rushden. we went to see ponokeio in northampton which was lovley i love the royal christmas play. although it is criminal what they have done to the entrance of the theater you have to enter through the nasty derngate entrance which is a great example of 1970s yurk instread of the lovley period entrance which we used to go through just makes you want to cry.
gordon went to his home on christmas eve but after going to church with me which is nice.
christmas day was really really nice we all opened presents with sarah and then uncal bob and antie linda came and picked her up. after which we carried on with a quie day helped mum make to make christmas dinner well sort of helped her.
went to dads the day after boxing day which was also lovley met some of dianas friends from the drama centre which was intresting.
then went to Gordons for a few days before he went to this conferance we welcomed in the new year on a bridge in cambridge. and had spent the rest of the night meeting up with his friends and seeing his family.
i went home again and met up with Dan and Aron which was great Dan and i watched scrubs and Aran and I went to the chinees again but that was also lovely havent seen Aron in so long wounderful to catch up.
Gordon and i traveled back up together on the sunday which took up 12ish hours but we did stop for two to see his father and his wife we went to the chinees again so that make three trips to the chinees in three weeks.
now i am in bed with a cold and possibly a chest infection gonna try and get a docs apointment today but such is life at least i was not ill over christmas yay

my head my exspoled

its a long time since i bloged properly been an intresting few weeks.
i have had teams out for work for 4 fridays now a month and things are looking good for getting another team out in the new year.

although that is if people actualy do get trained i ran a training night on wenesday i exspected 7 people 5 had confurmed that they would be there befor 2 had said so on the day only 1 person actualy came. which was really disapointing. but the person who came was great he came out on friday and was really good.

as to my personal life well i don't have much of one. the hardest thing is that i have chosen a church but have not been able to go to it for a long time because i have to go and trawl round other churches for volunteers its not easy at all.

and i do not find it as easy as some people to make friends but that will all come with time i am sure.

computers

i wish you could just print a file without having to open it this would make sertain aspects of my job so much eaiser there is probley a way and i am just being dence but hey you know me.

things are really going well as the moment we have had the teams out for three weeks now and the young people are being really receptive and cheery. although we have had few close incounters with some more agressive people. we also had to give out some first aid to a young person who had fallen into some brocken glass last week which was intresting the guys hand had been bleeding for ages and so loads of the blood had the blood had dryed and was really hard to get off. and plasters don't work in the rain particulay when you are standing on a bridge eek.

but all in it is all good

here there and everywhere

been a funny week well at least the part that i was concuse of was ill for the start of it which was not much fun and coursed me alot of stress when it came to getting out on friday.
went to gartmore for the Parish Development Fund overnighter which was great fun we did eneagrams which was okay but a little dull as we did it at college but okay to have a refresha in it all. i am still a 4 although Gordon and i had a long talk about the validaty of the hole thing. think we came to the conclusion that it was useful but only in its place it should not consume your hole life.
droped gordon off at the airpot on friday after the conferance we got lost it should only have tacken us an hour and a half to get there but it was neara three urg.
but we made it and i got back to perth with enough time to spare for me to grab a bit to eat and get down to the church for the second night.
which went well and we didn't have to call the police this week. although the weather was very wet so there where very few young people out and about.

first night out tonight!!!!

its our first night out tonight might burst with exsitment yayayayayayayayay

nearly there

well after three months of hard work i am at the point where i can send a team out next week i am doing it hand to moth stil which is not what i wanted but i guess that it will help me relie on God more for the people that are to do this work. i really really hope it is a sucess on Friday next week.

working light

my bathroom light is working again :) the bulb fell out a few weeks ago and the landlord has come and fixed it which is brill because i only phoned them a few days ago. life goes on i am having a quite day in today

Venice

Gordon and i have been and are now back from our lovley holiday in Venice
we had the most amazing time looking at the most lovley buildings and places ever. with only a few minor draw backs like our bags getting lost between gatwick and edinghbough on the way back we had a wounderful time.

life as a ping pong ball

phew what a week Gordons family was up from last saturday which was lovely but very tireing for me. particulay since baby ryan woke up some nights and so so did we all :) but it was very nice. it was a bit of a shame that gordon and i could not get more time off and particulay more time off together to spend with them but i think they had an okay time.

we didn't really do much with them went swiming they where here for my birthday i wanted to go to a mexican but it was closed so we had a very nice indean insted but that was lovley.

we tryed to go to the zoo but where a bit late for it to be worth the money so didn't and then i took them to the station yesterday.

Gordon and i are going to venice tomorrow so had better get on with packing

cross

well after waiting up till midnight last night for the tescos deleivery which didn't come for a stupid reasion they phone me tonight and say my card has been declined. then i have just looked at the price and it is more than dubble what i said i was going to pay so no wonder it has been declined i am soo so cross.

it has been an intresting day i was at the berevment training which was rewardin but hard work.

then i went to put my check in the bank and even though they said on the phone that it would be okay to put it in in the woolwich branch but i went in and the lady said that you would not be able to do that until next year.

Gordons mum and sister and nethew ryan are coming up tomorrow.

i don't have any e-mails

sitting in the office have nothing particula to do at the moment so am taking a breack from the hurly burly of setting up projects.

neil just told me a cool thing if you lift up your right foot and make it spin round in an anti clockwise direction then with you right hand you draw a 6 in the air you foot will change direction try it it is true but don't try it when people can see you because you may look alttle like a fool.

really proud of myself i have organised my filing cabinate draw i have hanging files with lables and everything maybe i shall but them into alphbetical order next.

the next thing will be to have onse with volunteers information in them.

yeah how boring is my life i get exsited about filing it can't be good.

tehe

Your results:
You are Wonder Woman

Wonder Woman 80% Supergirl 75% Superman 70% Spider-Man 70% Hulk 70% Green Lantern 65% Robin 60% Iron Man 55% Batman 50% Catwoman 45% The Flash 40%

You are a beautiful princess with great strength of character.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz

Elim

well there you go you never know what God is going to do. i went to the elim thinking it will be carismatic and load and livley which it was although there where only 4 people in the seats plus kids playing at the back of the church. but it was an amazing night of phophasy and prayer.

Peter the minister kept coming back to me over and over with different things that i needed to do or needed to be incoriged with. there was more stuff to encorige than to worry about. and i knew that God was speacking directly into my life tonight.

So praise him he is amazing

church

went to the nazereen this morning which was nice it has made me want to stay with this church even more we had communion this morening which they do in much the same way as we do it at the mission back home not sure why this is important to me but it is. i guess where ever you are you have to be able to feel at home and find things that make you feel that way.
Geogre and Helen asked me round for lunch again which was lovley i really like these people they are so generous.

will be off to the elim this evening with leaflets for the project should be intresting.

being ineffective

supposed to be cleaning but am not really in the mood to get on with it the kichen is almost done but the rest of the flat well its not really that bad anyway i guess although am getting to the point where i need to sort out a hover all three that where left by the landlord are not working so things are getting alittle bit silly in that department.
work going okay had a pen fight with neil yesterday had to conced because of his superar co-ordiation but will have my revenge i am sure.
there was a bit of bickering about inapropreate jokes at the end of the day it was a case of you are being imature and the other person going your the pot calling the kettle black they are all imature they are boys :)
friad i got a bit maturnal towards them started talking to the like their mother its easy to do but i bet its annoying for the people on the receiving end.

turner

turner in venice so lolvey i can't wait to go only 24 days left then Gordon and i will be bording that plan and jetting off i can't wait can't wait can't wait.

berevelment traning

did some more of the berevemt traning course today two more days to go it isn't half heavy stuff feeling totaly drained.
and thats after a perticualy emotional and draining day yesterday and a few bad nights sleep it never rains but it poors but then again the sun will be out soon or at least thats the hope.

working hard honist :)

so i am sitting in my cold office there is lots of activerty going on some pro scot volunteers are counting some money at neils dest Jamie is doing something to do with his traning at his desk opersit me talking to the new icc student mark who is talking about the bible college and finding your wife hummm i guess its true genraly.
at least for the deserving ;-).

feeling quite pleased with myself put lots of content into the sidewalk website.

the boy metality in this building is overwhelming the amont of sexit comments that are flying round this office are unbelivable.

reletive sucsess

the traning went okay i think at least allan and danny said they enjoyed it and it was useful for them so that must be good.

although only allan and danny turned up hummmmm but in a way that was a good thing as it ment that i could get the nervs over and done with with out much hassel.

scared

the first traning night for volunteers is tonight this is a big step for the project and for me. and i am getting increasingly nervouse about the hole thing have i done enough prep do i know enough to do it arrrrg am i really up to doing this job.

although God has been blessing the project abundantly all the work is starting to pay off and dispite a few minor problems things are really going well.

please have a look at the website there is no content yet but there will be by the end of next week. i can take no credit for how good it looks its all Gordon. :)

Fog

well had a bit of a scary night last night after spending a day together where we were both feeling prittty ill and tired i had to take gordon home as he had to work today. on my way back i the fog rolled in i have never driven in anything like it i was quite freacked out by the whole exsperance. but survived so thats gotta be a plus.

got my new phone at last :) they forgot to give me the bluetooth headset :( fed up

lights fumes and fun

Gordon and i went to visit his dad and his wife last weekend we drove down on friday night then we drove back up yesterday.
it was a good weekend we went to a car boot sale on saturday morning then waited around blackpool and the sea side for the lluminations to come on.
Gordon and i went on the big one which was great although long long que we think that it might be worth it going back down and getting all day bands to go on the pleasure beach one time.
we lost the family at this point and had a good few minits sitting by the sea. when we found them again we found they were in the park.
we then went to a little cafe to have a drink and a sandwidge.
the lights where cool to start with but got alittle dull to end with partiuclay as it took 2 hours to get through them all the fumes and over load of information did it in for my head and i felt sick for pritty much the rest of the night urg got home and went strait to bed luckly Gordons dad could drive my car so i was able to avoid driving on the motoway that night.

a good night

i got one of the progect scotland young people to come out with me last night to start making shure the routes that i have worked out for the detached work, work. there is only one area that is magely suspect for lighting so far so i think that that is a success the young person Danny is all up for partinoning the council to get lighting put in as well which was amusing i think we will get the teams out first so that the council can see the benifits then maybe we shall do that sorta thing.

blar

been working hard but feels a little like we are going round in circuls and i am not sure how much i can decide on my own.
got ill towards the end of the week have been up chucking for good measure for the last two days am okay now just abit weak.
looking forward till tomorrow Gordon and I are spending the day together and pretending it is his beithday again so that he can have a nicer day we are also trying to get some other friends to go out so we shall see.

he didn't pass his test which sucks he will next time though

complete maddness

well this last week has been insain to say the least.
starting with the crazy trip up from nans in the car we are talking nelson (wales) to perth (scotland) almost the intire lenth of the country and then acrross it. i got lost only once on my own and when i picked gordon up at manchester which was insain i think that we only got lost once to. he is doing well with his driving felt completely fine in the car with him till we where driving back to perth not the day of the mamoth trip but a few days later and he hit the curb at speed have been more wary since. through i do think he will pass his test watch this space.

we went to see chris and louise on wenesday which was also Gordons birthday we had a lovley night although was not impressed at the slightly hair brained plan to put and arm chair in the back of my car at 12:30 at night when i had to take Gordon back to broxburn and drive myself back to perth.
well this night did not gt any better Gordon drove to get the practice and the police stoped us (they seemed more bord and making things up than angry) Gordon was locked out of his flat so he had to come and stay in my spar room and on the way to perth was when the curb hitting happend.

we also met up with some of gordons friends from drumchaple on friday night which was fun i hate hate hate the glasgow motorway arrrg.

we mangiged to spend sat and most of today together as well but mostly sleping and weeping because i am soooooo tired.

playing at solidors

well we went to a army training centre and did lots of fun things like playing on a shooting rang doing an asult course which id did not get to do much off being the only femal leader and the only person who got and injury being a girl i had to stay with her and make sure she was okay which was dull but fine. we played lazor quest twice in three days (i went to leza quest on the weekend with Gordon and his young people which was rad) and did some team skills puzzels.

i don't know if i am altogether happy with what we did today though what message did we give the young people we took. ws it that it is cool to kill and play with gun is it that all we think they can acheive is to join the army is it that we are fine with vilance or a whole host of other things.

although i started to make some good realtionships with the young people from the Y today particualy the girls and those realtionships will have been spring borded by today i am not happy with what i think i have allowed myself to be party to. i have also shot myself in the foot as to standing up agenst this sort of things. this is hard where is my middle grond.

week 2 over and done

yes friday afternoon and week two of work is over. if all had gone well today i would have been on my way to wales to pick up my new car but all did not go well due to silly terroists on plains so i can't do it this weekend so getting my car has been put off for a week hohum.
today had an okay day got on with some work but was not as productive as i have been at pervous time it is hard working in the ymca with people who are supposed to just muck in when you are on a project that means that you can't really do that. i think that it is already breading some tenion but such is life these are things that i have to learn to deal with.

practical jokes

bit of a slow dull office day worked on the policys for the project which means that i will be able to put together a basic tranning course and start on the publisity and soon start recruting watch out Perth here i come.

the guys played a practical joke on me towards the end of the day they phoned the office and pretended to be one of the local youth workers and they asked me a load of random questions and there me miss gulibal fell for it they didn't even sound like the guy which is really frustrating.

oh well the joys of working in an office i guess

today

things are hotting up in work now the project is definatly starting to take shape and it is only my second week i have been meeting other local projects connect (drug intervention project) and the youth enquiry service this morning. then went out for a walk about with PC Scot Robbinson this afternoon which i loved. otherwise have been making leaflets and starting to put together other bits and bobs that the project needs. i have an office day tomorrow so will get alot of that sorta stuff done then.

perth the epic

tehe well i did an emily and forgot my laptop mum has just posted it to me oops.
i am in my flat all safe and sound now tehe forgot my keys as well as the laptop so that was actualy harder than it sounds. had to stay in a hotel the first night after a 10 hour journy up the country the trains where baddly baddly delayed.

things have gone more smoothly since then though and i started my new job with very few hicks. my frist week was great got to exsplore some of the other work of the YMCA and met up with Allan which was good.

went to see Gordon in Edingbough which was good we got lunch in a ittalian buffet which was not good oh not good at all. but we had a nice walk and sat in the park and chatted till he had to go to work and i had to go home.

that sat he came over but had big bad headake so we took the day slowley nice walk on the north inch and eat a str fry for tea.

this week i am sorting out buying my nans car off her and driving it back up the country eeek it is all sooooo complicated.

kiaking

Ant Chris and i went Kiaking on the nene last night was sooooo much fun.
although it looked like we where not going to get to do it for a time as the duty offcier was late and no one new why and there was no instructor to lok after us begingers on the water.
but it all came together a lovely man called chris offered us to join his class and basicly spent the whole time working with me and chris and helping us get up to speed it was great. much better than the last time i understand a lot more of the macanics.
i am hoping to find something similar in scotland :)

i also wore chris out jouring the day with a walk into town and going to the park i have not seen him today but am sure he slept well.

spent today packing up my room so that chris will be able to move in there when i go up don't know how good a job i have one but i am sure it is a start threw out four bin bags worth of rubbish and there are two more to go to the charity shop eeeek.

chuch

church was good this morning got commisioned to go out and prayed with it was also a lovley service bill lead it and spoke on amos which i really like.

feeling very low about the whole new church issue not only have i got to find a new church but it looks like it is going to create tensions with Gordon which does not help decress the nervousness one feels before you go into a new situation with lots of people you don't know and stuff like that. i guess it is just one of those thing.

Church this morning was good and God was really moving and working and i know that he will be there whatever and even if things do get hard in this area i can relie on that.

back in mum

been at dads all last week which was nice although i really wish that he would stop worring about entertaining me.
although on the entertainment side of things we went to see sunday in the park with Goerge which was great all done with really cool projections and little animations which was really nice.
went to windsor and we went for a walk in the other direction along the jublie river towards maidenhead had a meal in the pineapple which was really nice. got really badly sunburned for it mind.
spent a good amount of time in the garden with my book which was good.

at work with mum

possibly the most boring place in the world i have been filling envilopes with the contents of folders so that mum can fix her shelves humm fullfilling.
now am makin a cup of tea for people yay.
going to meet antie linda for lunch so that should be nice and then come back here for more fun and games like this morning.
mum had some great excitment over some new flat screen monitors that she bought for the office score.

at home

well i have spent the last week at home it has been quite enjoyable as i am getting plenty of space to do what i want when i want and if i want.
so far have seen dan we for a walk have been to the pics with my little brother over the hedge is a must see it is pure brillance had me and my 18 year old and 10 year old bothers in stiches for the most part. we also eat kfc which was fun lots and lots of junk.
today spent the morning relaxing at home and went to the park for a picnic with Gen and Dan which was lovley we looked for cloud shaps talked and relaxed. Gen and i went back to her house met up with her boyfriend pete and watch a stand up comedian who they had a video of billy something or other and not the scotish one it was a good afternoon.
came home to find nan had sent me some really nice ear rings i am really pleased cannot get through to her to say thanks though she is clearly living it up somewhere will talk to her later.
dinner soon i hope my tummy requires nurrishment our picnic was all junk well that is apart from the stuff the Gen bought.

final goodbye

well i said my final goodbye to the college sunday morning after saying bye o dad cleaning my room got in the car with all the stuff i had left and drove away for the last time as a resident sure will be back.

it was a long drive i was glad mum and rob had brought a dvd player which the boys and i puged earphones into and watched verrouse things the downside was when the car was turned off we lost our place and there was not remote control to get into the sean menu. i also read some of my book which was good.

had a bath when i got home very good

Graduation

its all over have finaly Graduated its quite strange really you don't feel any different and yet you feel like you should and the weiredest thought of all is that after the college summer holidays you will no longer have the college routeen to slip back into. you really have to step out of your comfort zone now and be a real adult scary.

After dad and i Got back from town i went to get ready Gordon had two busses go past his so i was getting really stressed about that, not his fault stupid busses. Mum turned up and told me tthey had to go into town but they gave me a lovley cross to go with my dreess which put me in a bit of a pickle as dad had given me a cross that was diannas grandmothers and i had said i would wear that. so i wore the green one that mum gave me for the grad and the gold one that dad gave me for the meal after i think that that was okay but what else could i do.

mum forgot my shoes left them at the hotel so she had to got me some from town otherwise it would have been blue ugandan flip flops. this did not help my nerves.

they all went of and linda turned up which was good she and i chatted as i got ready and josh joined us for walking down to the church very nice. dad went of to the cathedral was sad to leave Gordon at the flat yes he had gott there in plenty of time after all but i did not trust my perants to get the to church i supose it would have been a bit dull for him and his mum to have sat in the church for an hour anyway.

we got robed up and waited for instructions which seemed to take foreverr stood around and chatted. they had made a alturation to the seromny this year not only was it in the barreny but we where going to have our hoods put on us on the stage by tony this sounded quite cool but we had to carry the things in a certain way and most of us where worred about putting them down at all whichw as a pest.

the shoes arrived just in time but where to big i made do it was all quite funny at least i had shoes that was the main thing.
we proceded through the church and sat down in the order we where to go up in. there was some chat then the names where bein read out.
serously weired walking across the stage as what i was doing next was read out got through it and did not trip up which was a good thing.
the rest of the service seemed to take forever
then we processed out which was good.

tea afterwould was nice gott my portate taken talked to my lecturues had chris follow me around which was also nice.

went for tea it was very load in the buffet king but thats life felt really ill by the end of it.

but had enough omph left for a cup on hot choc on the way home with dad Gordon and his mum.

a good day all in all

feeling weired getting stressed being bord and other stuff for a week

well the week before graduation was intresting to say the least.
neil Kenny and I had a great laugh taking my stuff up to perth and packing it into the flat. but when i got home things felt very weired and my trouble sleeping increased funny how these things effect us.
Linda moved out which was also weired missed her being next door a lot.

Gordon and i had a nice day together slighly mired though by the fruitless search for a dress in livingston we gave up n the end as there was nothing i really like i decided to go to Glasgow the next day think Gordon my be tromatised for life by the exsperance of me looking for a nice dress. did find an ideal one in monsson took my £10 over budget and left me no money for shoes but thats a graduation story which i will tell in the next post.
but felt better after spending the day together and sleept better for it as well it was a really nice day.

next day found the dress avoided doing work as i was not feeling all that hot and went and had tea with Gordon and his mother which was nice fish and chips which i love.

brings us to wenesday which i also spent with Gordon and his mother we went swimming had tea out and went to the open air theater in pinces park to watch midsummer nights dream where alittle to cloes to the back to hear properly but we moved forward in the second half and that was much better really enjoyed it although was very ill by the end of the day. we always try and do to much and i get ill need to stop doing that soon.
i could not get home was so ill so sleept on Gordons mothers floor and that was okay had to spend most of thursday in bed trying to be well enough for club which was my final one.
was not really well enough but got there all the same. but we where just about ready to let the kids in when we had a power cut which meant we could not gave out the dvds i promised but sucked not being able to say fairwell to the kids as i would have liked.

they had chocolate cake for me as a final good bye and they gave me some rennie mackintosh mugs which are really nice. very very sad to leave though.

friday catrinora treated me to going to the hairdressers and dad arrived he was an hour and a half late silly vergin trains so we did not get to do much in the evening went to wagambas and converted dad to japaness food yay go me.

mum arrived so late that they could not join us for food or see us on the friday.

sat morning took dad to the goma bit of a disasta he hated it and there was no where else to get to in the amount of time although we went to the Rennie mackintosh tea rooms which he did like. feeling alittle stressed about getting ready and organising people to be at the right place at the right time started to get a headake.

this is a bit out of order but we all went out on the town on satuday night and had a good night all in all the last time this little group will be together for a long wile.

oooph

feeling it today my last two weeks have just begun gave neil my essay to have a look at hopefully he will think that it will pass and i wont have to see it again.
been very upset for most of the day partly due to the fact that the bbq that was going to be on my last friday had to be moved back to sunday and so i can't make it.
haveing problems with assurtiveness not really maniging the whole thing very well.
i am so tired i just wan to curl up in a little ball and sleep.
we are moving my stuff up on friday spoke to my landlady and she was quite happy with that so thats exsiting feels very weird in my room with most of my stuff packed away hummm all fun and games.

hummmmm

went on a very roundabout trip to tescos this morning vir three car dealerships all far to exspensive for me but now i know. the reasion i spent some time in these shops was because my essay was waiting for me at home.

i have been fairly good since and have started to restruckture this essay as well as the other stuff i have to do i hate this it is sooooooo hard soooo hard.

sob

i failed my knolige of God essay just found out this morning really, really gutted. i can't comprehend how i am going to get it done again i don't want to have to go through all the reading again.
and i don't have any chocolate.

Garden party inside

well our college garden party sorta fizzaled out because of weather as soon as it started the rain poored we played Giant Jenga inside and chatted as well as clearing out the charrity bit of the back of the common room much fun with a childs zilaphone which appeared again later in the meal and provided the music for our music quiz which was soooo funny you would not beleive.
Gient Jenga was fun up till the point that everyone went away and left me playing with this strange man who keept ascking me to go to his house for coffee was not comfortable with this and found out later he was making a habit of making the women in the college feel really unsafe.
the meal was good though choclate cake very good.
then i watched the first football match i have ever watched which was great fun particulay watching the boys getting really into it.
the problem being that i still hold the veiw that football devides people alot i mean look at the scottich english or worse the welsh english thing i mean i still have bad the memories of going to school after a welsh englsih game. and there is also all the rangers celtic stuff in glasgow which sucks but i guess alot of that isn't actualy about the game in itself it is all about history which also sucks history is there for us to learn from and not keep on making the same mistakes over and over again.

sooooooo tired again

it is tuesday and i have had a really long cupple of days.
starting on friday when i was debating weather i should go to crossover at all sitting on my bed both tired and headakey new it wasn't the best idea. but i did go in the end (the whole not wanting to let people down thing) had an okay time don't think i will go again though and it was a mistake to go this time i am suffering now.
sunday Gordon and i went to Perth to meet the landlady and landlord for the flat and sort out the deposit and stuff. it is really cool they are letting me stor my stuff up there for july for free which means i can move out of my college room and not pay rent on that.
came home and have not court up on rest since.
today got our results back from steve got a B :) which is really good went to the final service and did all sorts of things like that.

perth

i spent the day in perth yesterday woundering and looking at flats the up shot of which is that i have the ideal place to live initally when i get up there.
i arrived rediculosly early for my first veiwing but i didn't know where it was or how long it would take me to walk there i found the door and went and sat by the river to enjoy the sun and to read some of the stuff for my essay (go me).
the flat was well abit of a dump but thats because it was a bachola pad and i mean die hard bacholas. it was dark and the guy who was showing me around said he thought it was not the best place for me as there was a drug dealing living up stairs and they get people on the buzza at all times asking where he was.

then i went to see Elain at the Y and hand in my accespetants letter very exciting sat in their computer sweet and talked to the people there and enjoyed myself emencly. she walked me to the next flat who is rented by one of the YMCAs workers and his family who are moving. this was much nicer it is a fith floor flat so if i am good and don't constantly use the lift it will keep me fit has a balcony two bedrooms good size kichen and living room so i am going to try and get it i will meet the landlady on sunday gonna be a bussy weekend. what with cross over and all.

heads really not good this morning ouch to much time in the sun.

a good day

college was actualy quite good today we had a lady come in and teach us a load of refelctive stuff to do in our quite times and stuff it was really nice to take a bit of time out of the maddness and relaxs. amazing how stressed really.

then had the disscusion time with neil which was really intreasting think i am feeling alittle more confident but it still is a worring essay and topic in genral.

Frenzy

Saturday was very hard work but it was great fun in lots of way.
went into frenzy with neil and catrinora and helpt them set up the ICC stand which fun as we got all creative with the warped photos on the Imac the Neil had brought (later they had the attraction of taking and printing out more warped pictures hundreds of young people came although not so sure how many of them will be intrested in coming to the college they did bring their youth workers though which was good)had to take neil out to ratho adventure centre to get some seats for them.
was quite bord when the concert started though most people i new had not arrived yet. hooked up with Linda and Kat after Tim Huges was on Gordon came later i am afraid that i am guilty of neglecting Linda after that which was not the best.
we hung around and helpt neil and catroina by taking over from them so that they could go and get a breck.

had done the silly thing of commiting myself to go on the buddy bus after frenzy though which was not the best plan was serously dehydrated when we got back to the college but had an hour or so to sort that out. although was not well for a good part of that hour. but i pulled myself together and Gordon came with me which really helpt. it was an intresting evening blessedly quite for us had a detbate about christianity with a philosphy student and a real convosation about it with his friend.

Sunday in church was okay went home and dozed for a few hours and Gordon and i met up and had a drink in the sun and wandered round glasgow it was actualy a lovely afternoon from getting as it took me from feeling quite negitive and weepy (got teary over the Oringe march that had gone past the college) left Gordon feel really happy and possitive.

rotten day

i have had a few tough days this week monday got up and one disaster followed another followed another followed another till i was in tears by the end of the day. not much fun.
then i got up at 7 and started getting ready for our training program went down around 8 and started moving tables oh my goodness the tables in the bord room are heavy. Bonnie came abit later closly followed by Elaine and we worked hard till the class came in and we jumpt into the process of deleivering our program it went really well :-). and so did everyone elses prity sertain that all of us have passed which is good thats one hurdel closer to graduation one left the big essay arrrrg scary.
i am sure it should be more work than this somehow but i am not sure how.
after the presentation was done we grabd some quick lunch went to darrels class arrrrrrg once darrels class was over started printing out agendas for the evening meeting and colating them. if Linda had not saved me with some pizza i would not have eaten before the meeting.
the meeting was so hard i mean i was exsorsted and it was so warm but we got alot of things out of it i will write the mins up tomorrow today is reading for and writing the final essay

My highlighter has just run out :-(

i am cross my highlighter has just run out in the middle of an really intresting chapture of worshipping the trinity grrrrrrr.

oh well such is life i will just have to find or buy another one wont i :-)

had a lovley visit from elaine this morning about our assesment on tuesday bonnie couldn't make it again but she e-mailed her stuff so we are both feeling better about the hole thing.

mango

hummm i had a little treat i bought myself a two pack of mangos from tescos last night and eat one for my lunch today. but i am slightly worried that now i am making regula trips to the loo. i do hope that this does not mean i am somehow elurgic to mangos i don't think i could cope sob.

this as you can tell had been a very dull day of prep college stuff and other such fun.

Sucsess

I have a Job or at least the promise of a Job if my refrances back up what i said in my interveiw.

oh my goodness i am soooooo exsited today has been a day and a half. first the prison visit then darrels class which i was late for and had to leave early to get to the train on time.
the the rudest taxi driver in the world who didn't know what a YMCA was let alown where the one in perth was.
then a Job interveiw which i was sure i mucked up and another train journy home talking all the wile to my mother about youth crime.
the the phone call and some mad running around my mainly bemused but happy for me fellow residents.

so if the refreances play out and stuff i will be a detached youth worker in perth and i will be very happy i am sure it is not gonna be easy but i really think that i will be happy in this job.

Praise God because it is all him.

Prison

i was an honory 2nd year this morning as i went to Polment young offenders instertute i didn't get to go with my year due to sevril embarrsising things which i am sure you can look back to this time last year and see.
well it was all a bit of a shock to the system really thesee boys all dressed the same in these tiny rooms eating their lunch.
going around the woodwork room the youth centre the chaplancy it was all really intresting but it just made you bleed that there where so many boys in there it is not a nice place dispite what the papers say it is not a free ride and the fact that sometimes the boys almost choose to be in there does not say good things about our society. lots the think about today

scary thought

well i finished the second draft of my first essay of the term and it dorned on me i only have one more essay, a presentation, 3 reflective reports plus the one that i wrote yesterday and 6 more weekly workplans left. then i will Emily Claire Cowley-McPherson BA. please correct me anoyone if i wrong and i have more work to do as i feel alittle nervouse that have forgotten something big in my estamation.
how weired will it be to have finished and passed three years of sweat and tears comeing to a close and never having to write another essay unless i choose to weired.

police action

so it was our third night out doing detached youth work and their were few kids but lots and lots of police.
quite scary really townhead was dead.
we finaly came up to some kids and had a nice chat with them they were all out of their faces drunk but happy enough and then this van pulled up and 6 police got out and started searching the boys and moving the girls on it was very scary. joy and i exsplained who we were and went back into the church as we were at the end of the night anyway.
later while we were de-briefing we hear this screaming coming from outside we look out of the window and two police people have this little girl on the floor she must have tryed something on with them but it was a shame to hear her crying she was so out of her face she did not really know what was going on.
i really hope that the work that we are doing is going to make some sort of impacked on these young peoples lives this is why i am in it after all.

yikes

spent yesterday with Gordon Kim Steve and Baby we went swimming which was fun. although babys are hard work at times. then Gordon went off to work and Kim Steve and I watched nariea they were really into it which was nice.
Ended with the huges mirgrain though would of been okay if it hadn't been for Gordons friend Abi needing my floor to sleep on and Joy worrying about the childrens address that she was leading this morning.
well being abit mellow dermatic it was quite nice having Abi in my room although i don't know her very well she is nice enough.
did not feel top of the world when i woke up mind.
went over to church with joy and met Ted H who was preaching this morning we all prayed together and got myself landed with the prayer of intersession which i had all of ten minits to prep for. since i have never done a prayer in an CofS it was very dounting i was really really really freacking out by the time it was my turn think i hide it okay though.
went into the hole english lords prayer forgive us our transgressions and so forth which was funny.

Kim and Steve Missed their strain home which sorta sucks as the train company are charging an outragous amount for them now to get home.

Sharring

well i have just gotten back upstairs from the worship room where i was sharing about the project was so nervouse i don't know can stand up infrount of 50 young people and talk absulutly fine but as soon as i stand up infrount of my peers i get really bad stage frirght but dispite that i did okay so not feeling to bad.

got the bargin ipac i bought on ebay this morning it came in the hugest box the office were very bemused it is very cool though very exsited about starting to use it properly in work and stuff.

DULL IS THE WORD

had the most dull day ever am at the stupid state where i am almost better but not quite there and so can't really do all that much so played on evil genius this morning and watched friends this afternoon.
went for a walk down to tescos was tempted to sit in geoges quare for a bit till my tummy reminded me that that would not be a good idea just yet.

getting better

well have stoped with all the up chucking it is just the other end we have to worry about.
dispite this had quite a bussy day yesterday well for a sick person at least went next door to the shop to get some more things that i might be able to eat like rice pudding and stuff.
then i went to the doctors and he grilled me about what youth work was which was quite good fun really felt quite proud of my rasp of the subject. came back and slept for a bit then went out to my final year assesment which was wounderful came away feeling really really really good. i am after all good at what there was no real critisum of my work but lots of how you can mature in your work well and improve the skills that you are developing already.

phew

well the last cuppla days have been a hoot urg.
but first will think about happyer memories went paitballing on saturday and dispite some inital stress it was a really great day was so so so tired by the end of it but got to shoot neil and darrel which was satisfing although they probly shot me more than i got them never mind though.

got home and got sick and thats where i have been the last few days tempirture throwing up dhiroreah saw tummy the works not much fun at all.
Gordon stayed with me on the monday after coming down with it on sunday which was nice made the problible mistake of going to the pics to see mission impossible but such is life.
still no where near well but getting there

living life to the full

i am not the brightest peble on the beach sometimes i managed to miss my last session of my slef help group. it is my last chance to do it and i missed it and i am so so so so cross i guess i can do it on-line but i was looking forward to todays appointment.
class this morning was good even if it made me miss this appointment so thats okay.
elaine suzi and i went for a little walk around the town it is fellowship day so no rush to get back to the college and class was held in a holiday inn this morning.

may day

well as a bank holiday goes i have worked pritty hard but have achevived lots so thats okay.
did a load of prep that so needed to be done and then the team meeting.
srg was well no kids showed up so we had a time of fellowship and clearing out of the office which was instresting because i didn't know what was in the office. think it was alittle hard on Cat though espeshaly as she had a final meeting with James in the middle of it. this seems to be a very hard time for her.
have a really pourly tummy tonight.

weekend maddness and catchup not to mention climbing centers

Gordon and i went for a 10 mile walk along the union cannal and got really excited about going climbing in the ratho climbing center. such a cool place. it honistly defies description it is so cool Gordon thought it was abit like being in a bond movie i wouldn't know haveing never watched a bond movie. have a look click the title to this post and you will get to their site.
it was a goeguse day you could feel the heat from the sun it was wounderful.
he came back to college with me and slept on Joshes floor as we had a meeting about a weekend away with a kingspark batise which we are helping with in september.
getting there was a disaster but i want go into that because i am still upset and annoyed and it has the danger of turning into a rant.
we had nice food they were a nice family we where visiting and had alittle bit of a worship time before tea and the meeting which was fun.
head was quite bad by the time we finished and went to an eve service at destinany church which was very comersal but had good worship music even if it was so load and the lights were herting me got some prayer which was good.