not a bad day all concidered

very tired but its been an okay day. the communications course this morning was bearable although chris was not able to make our coffee and chat after so i just headed up and meet up with Josh and Rachel which was very nice. they fed me and got really worried it was to spicy but it was okay.
had a nice chat

now am at home bit bord but have baileys and the first dics of season two of house so its not all bad

a minor mirical

relised something this morning which is quite exciting really well not for anyone else but for me it is brill.

i can't eat as much chocolate as i used to i used to be able to eat as much as was avalible. now i can't i have been cutting down for since i started this diet but over the last week lots of chocolate has been avalible and i have not eaten it all in one go it has lasted and lasted which is sooooo good.

okay not the most exciting post in the world but their you go when things are hard we have to take pleasure in the little things in life

challenge is over

well i found my cousin but she has made it clear she wants nothing to do with me. I don't really get why but there you go.

its a hard enough time at the moment anyway great upheavel and misary are going on in my life so it may be not a bad thing.

challange

i have been issued a challege today. to find my cousin and get in contact with her. right i have loads and loads of cousins but all of them are important and this one has disapeared. she was tacken into foster care when she was a little girl and has cut off all communication with our family since. now i think this is because she has quite negative memories of her time going into foster care and its too hard to be in contact with some of us.

but my family thin that if anyone is going to get her to talk to them its me. i am not so sure. but we shall see it would be good to know how she was doing so we shall see.

success in the classroom

well at least i think it was a success.

lead a revision disscussion class on creationisum today which went really well although had a few inital hiches like the projector not being able to conncet up to my computer so i could not use the powerpoint or video clips that i had prepared the young people had enough questions to keep us going for a while.

a near perfect weekend

Gordon and i have just spent an really lovley few days together. we oringonly where going to go up to avimuir and spend a few nights in a b and b but that did not work out but i actualy think what we did do was much better anyway.

Gordon planned a hole host of activertiese and did not tell me what they where until we were there. which was really good fun for me i hope it was for him.

first we went to dundee and the theater and saw a really great play called the wall about a load of glawigan kids on their summer holls it was soooooo funny i would highly recomend it.

then the next day we spent the day in st andrews we tryed to fly kites although it was not windy enough so much hilarity insued. then we went to the aquirum and looked at the fish which was supprisingly good. we also went to the castle it was free that day which was really good. they have a mine and countermine where a sieghing army tryed to under mine the castle to breack in which we went down. was quite freacked out by the exsperance really it was very small and damp down their very closterphibic but also very cool.
we went to the cathedral as well and up to the top of the tower thing very good.
finaly we eat fish and chips looking out over the ocen which was lovley.

then we came back to the flat and watched ratitue also really good fun.

today we went into edingbugh and to the gallery to see the warder choice exerbision which was really good and sat in the park.

we also found the theater that we are going to tomorrow night to see dads play.

i am so sorry that it has had to end soooo soon but then the good things can't last forever i guess.

back from the north

been to see my lovley Erica the last few days which was so fabby.

talked for ages about everything went out for lunch to a shortbread factory yesterday which was very nice (didn't have any shortbread) and played Phas10 with her friends in ellel and their lovley baby i lost so but it was a good game.

then went for a nice long walk this morning before i had to leave to go home.

the drive there and back was amazing!!!! so beautiful you could honistly cry. driving through the snow on the moutains and so on.

ups and downs

had a really nice day yesterday church was good and went out with the YP to Pizza Hut made cards. trying to sell some on ebay not going amazingly well but then i have never been amazing at selling things. persentational skills not been my strong point. but i think i am getting better.

had a bit of a stress this morning but its okay now and am sitting watching life on mars and with so chocolate buttions and my lap top. which is good gonna clean later and give this place a good going over so that when the new term start i will get head start with keeping it clean.

can't wait for the end of the week though going to see Erica and going away with Gordon :)

fuzzy brain syndorm

okay i am just back from a day conferance on house churches and trying to start a new exspersion of church within our comunites in scotland. feeling a little over whelmed but i am sure my brain will put off the new info into it place sometime soon.

it was a very good forum though enjoyed the day.


Gordon is back from camp yay but does not look like we are going to see that much of each other until the weekend sigh never mind.

btw Conratuations Hannah and Dyl on your Engagments :-) (-:

My First Day At School

Simon's Cat 'Let Me In!'

Simon's Cat 'Cat Man Do'

feeling a bit better

okay so i am being helped towards the middle of the tree there are good points to my linemanagment and but its better than having nothing there at all.

i don't know though still feeling discoriged and quite low

su was okay but i looked at the wrong verce so was alittle disjointed.

i hope Youth House Group goes well tonight it has the potental to be a good night be genraly it has the potental all the time.

the worst bit is over

superhero is done
vis a vis is done
easter assbly is done

its almost plain sailing until easter is over and thats a really good thing

gordon and i went to see south pacific last night which was great we had such a lovley night was so upset when it came to an end. but then you can't live in a time bubble however much you would like to.

now the wind is blowing

humph so inregards to me earler post that i was stuck at the end of a branch that was beinging to creack.

well this week the wind pickted up so am feeling even more insecure than i was then.

some quite significant stuff kicked off at the school which was one of the envirmoents that i was feeling fairly confident about os it has hit me quite hard.

feeling alittle like i have done something really badly or really wronge at work in jenral which i am sure is not the case.

i have been alittle frustraited and stressed well okay alot frustraited and stressed but which else was there for me to feel. was strating to feel truley abbandond by my managment. i am a person who needs lots of support and help in lots of things and when i don't get that then i mess up.

but now it feels alittle like something has gone wrong so my managment are jumping feet first in an attempt to fix it and they might not really look what they are about to land on. its great they want to help me with these problems but i really do not want them to make these problems into bigger deals than they are already. i would also like to know that they can see that i have done good work for them for the last 7 months and it is not all just this one thing that has gone wrong now. and the thing that coursed it to be an issue in the first place (my communication skills) is not something that is unfixable.

i am hurt enough from the Y problems I hope they can see that and that I need TLC to be the best i can be.

Christian Pat and his Charismatic Cat

this is sooooo funny

the camera that looks through clouths

hehehehe

out on a limb thats starting to creck

feeling very alown at the moment and slightly bereft. if i was doing the blooby tree that we used to use a load in college. i would be far away from everyone else and on a thine branch.

there you go i have done quite a lot to put myself in this possition. the problem is that its happening in every asspect of my life and right now i don't feel like there is anyone i really can talk to about it.

which again is my own fault.

i mean i can talk to different people about different asspects of my life which i guess i should be happy with but what i would really like is to have someone that i could offload it all to and to know that that person would help me find solutions without trying to sort them out for me. i mean i don't need resuce i need support.

school let down

headed into the school this morning but the assembaly that i was supposed to be doing was canceled. this is not a problem really but its slightly frustraiting. i did ask the receptionist if it was on the other day knowing that other peoples assembalies had been cancelled but as far as she new it was on. i wish they would let all their staff know when things have changed but i guess thats really differcult in big schools.

buddies was gerat yesterday and tuesday, su was okay.

just rescued cheery from the inside of the couch which was silly of her to get into there.

emotional moment

get so frustraited with my self sometimes. why is it that when i am tired angry frustraited or anything all i can seem to do it burst into tears. i hate it partly because it is embarrising makes everyone worry get stressed around me. and when i am already tired it makes me even more tired.
basicly spent the whole church service this morning weeping away but hey thats me i guess i have to learn to live with it.

enage tonight which should be good have only limited input this month because was away in Albania when the meeting happend.

not complaining though!

the real start of easter maddness

been a chaplancy meeting today planning the easster assemblies. then we have super hero and vis a vis comeing to the church. tbh i can't wait till its all done and dusted. not saying it wont be fun it will its just going to be incredably hard work for the next few weeks.

not to worry though going to take a weeks holiday afterwoulds to recover and Gordon and i might head up north for a long weekend away in some hostel or other which would be nice.

back

Albainia was brill

could have stayed for another week at least.

although i was very tired when i can home

did so much its hard to think what to put on here.

we went into the jipsee community most day visited two ophaniges and did crafts till they where coming out of my ears its all good.

had such an amazing time and everyone was really pleased with the work that i did out there.

the team there are wounderful

and had a really fun time in the evenings pillow fights ect as well as getting young people to bed. quite funny really most nights as soon as our heads hit the pillows we where asleep. its hard work this missionary lark

getting ready to go to albainia

i think the service went well on sunday although i was alittle harrised during it and before it i didn't leave enough time to prepare it seems. but then never mind you live and learn.

i am getting ready today which is intresting making lists all the things i need too take all the things i need to leave behind so that other things want suffer there is lots todo but we will be okay i am so looking forward to it.

how long can a cold last yikes

my cold has contunied i am still feeling frigile and coughing alot even though its been more than a week.

i am back at work though which is good going to have to deal with the fall aout from being ill for a week now missed meetings and the likes.

superhero is coming to perth in march so have a lot of work to do for that i am really looking forward to doing the work even if the music is not my cup of tea :)

engage this weekend as well lots to do lots to do all alittle scary really.

deep impact and fall out

went to the scotish youth work conferance "deep impact" last weekend it was brill not just because we got to see loads of old friends and make loads of new contacts but there was also some really good lectures (as well as some very poor onse) and it was lovley to get some really good time to myself to walk about avimore and look at the snow on the mountains.

the only down side was that i came home and within hours i was coughing and by wenesday lunchtime i was off work ill. and i am liying on my couch still not feeling very well but getting better life goes on.

people have been very kind over the past few days.

splish splash

hehehe

William Tell Mom Sayings

this is soooooo funny

hecktic life

i have just been resiling with my dairy for the next wee wile i am so busy over the next few weeks which is good but then again not good because i will be sooo tired by the end of it all.

things that are happening

assembalies this week
christmas assembaliy next week and all the prep for that
teresha visiting
art space accustic cafe which will be good
youth club party
youth club
youth house group
labelless

can't wait for it all to be done and over and to go home and see my family and friends for christmas

video editing

been editing the chritsmas assembaly video all afternoon had to go down and get the right conncetions from gordon at lunch time which was nice.

its going well the main problem that i have run into is that i forgot the christmas tunes to go under the video so i am back home cooking some dinner and picking up the cd of chees that is going to drive me up the wall for the next hour or so ho hum it will be worth it.

feeling nervouse

feeling quiteb nervouse i am going into the school to do a bit of filming for the christmas assembally today which should be fun but then again it is pritty nerve racking going up to complete strangers and asking them questions.

but ho hum had a good day off yesterday i cleaned which intailed getting out most of my cupbords and sorting them out i have a big bag of stuff for the charity shop and a much more ordered home life now although there are still a few things i want to do before the week is out like work on my spare room cupbord which still has all my college stuff from my final year in boxes waiting to be filled away i think i may take it all into the office so that i can use it there it wont get used here thats for certain.

i also have to go and post the cards for my mum so had better go and do that now!! and then get on with some work like going into the school and videoing eeeeek

engage

so tired so looking forward to going on holiday which i booked flights for today.

its been a long day all in church this morning engage tonight both went okay so thats good.

although got stuck on tuck shop so could not supervise the activerties that i had set up so they wernt used which was slightly frustraiting.

why is it when you go to the dentist you come away with toothake :(

went to the dentist yesterday basicly all my fillings need stuff done to them and i have a new caverty on my front teeth not what ou have to know is that basicaly all my back teeth are filled so its not the best.

but oh well such is life

looking forward to the weekend have had a bussy week Gordons mum was up at for the long weekend which was nice. but it was quite tireing. then work has gotten more busy with the run up to christmas which is great but again tireing.

Lego Millenium Falcon Stop Motion

this is so good

window

i have had a intresting day it was good someone came into my office nocked a big whole in my wall and left it there. :) admitadly he put a window in it later quite a fasinating process a bit cold but intresting.

so now i have a window which i can look out of and everything although it does need a bid of a clean so i will take in some stuff to do that with tomorrow :)

also feeling quite happy with myself in the sence that i did alot of work today got through a pile of stuff which was quite pleasing.

feeling slightly fed up this morning had a not so good night sleep mainly because i was stressed out because my dairy suddenly came up with a large number of clashes which i had not noticed before i got into my bath should not talk dairies with gordon before i go to bed always ends up badly.

had a nice evening with one of the church famies last night they had a brill testomy and it was very plesant to be around them.
did alot of work yesterday so was very tired don't have to go in for a few hours which is a blessing.

prayer walk

went to the church prayer walk today which was good went out to the school and the arc which the rest of the day was pritty much pointless although i did clean my desk the rest of my office really should be next.
busy day tomorrow

low turn out

youth club had a fiarly low turn out last night which was slightly dissapointing because well i finally got a tuck shop organised but not the worse because it was just me and another leader there.
we had a good night though chatting and playing the guess who i am game you know the one with the postit notes stuck to the head. we where rubbish at it but thats part of the fun.

demotivated

its amazing how easy it is to get demotivated by the things that are going on in your life. yesterday it was me dwelling on stuff and today it was a comment on my bebo page that i haddn't noticed before.
had dinner with a church family yesterday it was really nice although was looking forward to playing with their new dog but she had had an operation and so was really dopted up poor thing.

engage and other stuff

engage was good on sunday still feel alittle out of it though not sure i am much help but i guess that comes with time. will have to take a bit more of a role next time.

gordon and i went to livingston on monday did some christmas shopping and have been making christmas cards since so that i can start selling them to rasie money for Albainia in Feb. sigh

busy day today su group at lunch and house group tonight but itw a worshop tonight so thats alot of work to be getting on with today but i can't seem to motivate myself yet will have to grit my teeth and get on with it in a min.

waiting for me food to cook

should have left church earlyer i am at home waiting for my food to cook before i gulp it down and head out to the next thing yikes sundays can be such a busy day.

procatination

i should be cleaning my house but so far have managed to put up my new curtains, talk to Gordon and my mum about the curtains cook some food eat the food and watch two episodes of life on mars which i bought with some of my birthday money. about £6 left to bye new a scarf.
its all good youth club tonight see if we have a total revolt over me stoping the trips to tescos.

party

we had a halliluah party last night there where about 40 kids in the church plus some of the young people. we had a good laugh playing silly games and i modifiyed fluffy bunnies to stop the chocking hazard made me feel very ainal but oh well.
made some of the boys do some cleaning at the end don't think that they where amused but its altamatly good for them so i am not overly bothered.

big treat

gordon and i got very blessed yesterday. steve took us up in a helicopter he was taking photos for a big company of edingbugh and the forth road and rail bridge. it was really awsome. the city looks so neat and tidy from the air.

although we not only seemedto freck out the politions when we where over the palerment but we also freacked out the pengwins at the zoon and the police phoned the airport to give the pilot a row. oh well the pengwins should chill out.

was very tired by then end of the day and in no way up for the albaina meeting although it did go well from what i can see.

today has been dull office work

first assembaly

well i did my first assembaly today don't think i have every had stage fright so bad in my life before i am clearly so badly out of practice when it comes to public specking but it will come back with time i guess.
but hey ho life goes on

bye bye brothers

feeling very low
droped ant and chris of at the airport this afternoon feeling really low missing them lots.

we have had a good few days though so thats okay.

ant and chris

today is my birthday and ant chris and i are chilling out before the young people come tonight to do house group.
su went well in school today and we had a good meeting yesterday so it is all good with work.

we went to see ratitue yesterday which was very funny very much enjoyed it and i think that the boys did as well.
they both go home tomorrow which is :( but then i get a bit of time to recover and become less tired it is funny how differcult it is having guests in your house even if it is your brothers.

busy busy busy

just had gordons dad and step mum stayed over which was nice we went to the cinema to see rendition didn't really enjoy it but it was an okay film. then had quite a busy day at work on sunday which was a shame.

they went home today and antony and christorpher turned up this morning and we went to laza tag and are now watching the iron gaint which we watched last night at lable-less but hey its a good film.

today is another day

having a pritty good week so far and it is thurday so that is looks like it might end that way.
monday went into edingbugh with Gordon we didn't get to see the film we wanted to see but we had a nice time anyway. eat far to much which is not the best since i am supposed to be trying to lose wight but there we go i am not going to get all guilt ridden about it.
tuesday had a mirgrain so worked from home watched the last of the numa dvds which wzs good. although sometimes i wounder why i cannot help sitting there in judgment and thinking this person or that person should be watching this dvd and putting it into practice.
yesterday su was good and had a great meeting with chic then a good house group with chats about everything gromt he trinity to everloution. yikes
this morning am waiting to the post and watching my xbox on ebay seeing how much money it will make me its at £30 at the mo plus post and packageing not to shabby i think.

Legoshire Hot Pots He's Turned Emo

sleepy

we had communion at church this morning had a wall of stuff for people to pray for about the youth work everyone seemed really pleased with it all. although i could not find someone for tonights group.

at least until one of the perants offerd which was a life saver. it was an okay evening we watched a noma dvd and we chatted about that and the church but they where really hard to get chatting. oh well things will get better i am sure.

low

the problem with putting ones self on a diet is that you tend to feel rubbish for the first few days which also means that you treat everyone around you like rubbish even if you have no intention of doing it.

i need chocolate

Gordon has just gone home and we have had an okay day but not the best and as i said i have not been in the best of moods.

and now he's gone home and i feel even worse and lonley in the bargin hate this time of the day.

back from broxburn

it has not half been a week for traveling went down to broxburn last night gordon and i went out to the oatridge for dinner which was very nice although was slightly disapointed about there not being fahetas on the menu so had lamb shank which was lovley.

we had a really nice relaxed evening good long walk to and from the pub and watched some rubbish tv so its all good although do not fancy going to wrk now. well thats not totaly true not looking forward to doing my office work but i am looking forward to youth club tonight

hehe

feeling much better today after some definitive sleep although i did not wake up with my alarm this morning and had a prity server nightmare in the night eeek scary stuff i wont tell you about it.

sitty around now waiting to see if any young people turn up am prepared if they do am prepared if they don't so its all good

we are together again

keys

sitting in the church at 2:30am poundering the meaning of keys.

well before i left for nics wedding i handed a young person the church so that they could let the engage crew in. but there must have been a mix up as i was going out the door and i handed him my house keys so i am going to work now until 9:30 when i can go and wake up my naughbough to give the spare keys and have a bath and go to bed.

but apart from that have had a really great weekend. arrived at the bandb on saturday morning and was greated by noelle and steph which was great mary turned up folled by ercia and we where late for the wedding because we prcastinated so much about getting ready so long. ended up running down watford high street yikes. but we missed nothing nic was late to :)

it was a beautful wedding and the reception was fun we served drinks washed cups and made up silly dances. nic and keith did it all themselves so lots of help from lots of friends.

then the next day went to see dad went to the tate which was fabby. and out for dinner which was really nice.

a twelve hour trip today was okay long and could have done with it ending better oh well.

frustrainting bank

arrrrrrrrrg hate money, hate banks, hate hate hate HATE!!!!

okay now i have that off my chest i may be able to get on with my life.

so my rent has not gone out properly for the like billionth time i changed to this bank because it was supposed to be good exsept the fundemental flaw with that is that no bank can possibly any use whatso ever.

on a more possitive note i got my hair done today it looks nice so looking forward to nics wedding can't beleive its tomorrow. yas can't wait. and i bought the new terry prachett book for the bus down yas!

waiting

am waiting for the young people to arrive for youth house group. which i hope will be good tonight looking at Jesus which can be hard but we will give it a go.

have had two productive meeting this week one with the school which was good all sorted to go in when term kicks off again and the other with a comunity youth worker from the counsil who looks after my area got loads of info from him and he got all excited about the circus skills. which all in all is a good thing.

looking forward to this weekend nics wedding seeing the girls and that sort of thing can't wait although the travel will be intresting.

and seeing dad will also be great on sunday :)

Water Buffalo - Veggie Tales

day off

i have had my day off restored to me the moeeting tonight was called off i don't know why but i am not to upset i am sure you can tell.

spent my day in a very relaxed way watching bleak house and becoming jane and sorting out my rent and so forth.

when the film finishes i will finish cleaning my house and so really be ready for the week.

dashing wight charger

went to see gordon last night which was intresting mainly because i only had enough money for the perth to edingbough bit and not the rest of the way. but gordon like a night in shinning armer got on another bus and picked me up :)
we spent this morning together and then we had to go our seperate was as normal me to say goodbye to my car and him to work.
not that i am not working tonight i am going to youth club presantly.

strange sensation

sitting at home with the collection of nooma dvds it is intresting to watch. not feeling very well woke up dizzy and but not quite so ill that i can stop hence the watching tv for work. its not a bad life

busy day

grabing five minits breack to tell you about my bussy day. well busy is not nessisaryly the word scattered may be the word. i came into church to check my e-mails and stuff had a lovley chat with debbie. to see if i had gotten one from the guy from su which i haddn't but i am going to go along to the school su group anyway and see if the receptionist will grant me access to the building think this may be a bit of a dangerous game but i said i would go along even though i don't really know that much about it. eeek

then have a meeting chic this afternoon and then young peoples house group this evening its all abit all over the place but things will settle down i am sure.

had a cold day

got quite alot of stuff done today which is quite satisfying

but it looks like my car is properly dead so feeling alittle dispondent about that but will get a new one it will be okay.

also feeling alittle lownly but hey thats life i guess.

lifts and walking in the rain

my buildings lift is brock which is most vexing since it means that when i forget something i have to go all the way back up the five stories. but at lest i have my legs to go up and down the stair most residents don't even have that. although in reality we only have to manage one flight to get into the even floor lift so ho hum.

winter seems to have arrived at perth the wind is up the temperture has gone dramaticaly down i wish i had a proper coat last years one is all worn out. Gordon and i have to walk to church in the rain last sunday which was not to bad it wasn't to cold but i felt really ill by the time i got home.

lovefilm

join lovefilm and i might get a free gift aiming for a tomtom go on have a look it wont hurt.

http://www.lovefilm.com/x4r7ccfxh/visitor/sign_up_1.html

slightly tired slightly sad waiting for the tubledryer to stop

well the big plans for the weekend where scuppered by my car not getting past carlise steph and erica went on down to nics hen weekend but i really just could not justify it. so came back up the road with the aa man and my car. spent saturday feeling very low went down to broburn and lay in the sun in the back garden of where gordon lives he was to figaty to sit with my long so we actulay spent most of the day papart but never mind we not feeling very socialble any way.

went to church yesterday which was really nice also means i have not used up any of my holiday which is good. spiled saurce over my only clean jeans so had to wash them last night with the other pair so am now waiting for the tublel dryer to finish its good work and then i will head out to work.

have a engage meenting tonight and also a later than normal house group although i am not sure how i will get there since my car is dead.

oh no

my laptop is making that scary sound that means the fan is probley on its way out it will soon be like flogging a dead donkey trying to do anything on this thing i guess that that means i had better start saving for a new home computer although i don't think i nesisarlaly need a laptop any more so that should save some bucks.

had an intresting night last night the other leader for youth club did not come but some young people had keys so they came in early to play table tennis but neglected to lock the door the next thing i new i had the whole lot of them in the building yikes child protection nightmare. i waited as long as i could with all honistly wait before i kicked them all although they tunred up a bit later to see if the other leader had come and if i could let them back in. but hey i guess these things happen there must have been crossed wires somewhere along the way.

things are good

things are going really well although had a no sleep night because the next few weekends are so manic i got really stressed about them but hey it is all important stuff.

this sunday we have engage which is going to be good young people lead worship well at least i hope it will be. although they are charging for entrace which i am not so sure about?

then next weekend is nics hen party so steph erica and i are all traveling down together which will e great fun!!!

then the weekend after that is my dads 70th birthday yikes although my plans are not finalised about that yet all depending on my fathers other kids i have booked my megabus seats down. although i am going to be so recked by then end of it i can't really afford the train or plane this time.

youth club tonight and seeing gordon tomorrow.

first attempts

the sound is not good on this will have to close the window next time

sound quility not good

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gbJBToKXxMU

Freestyle Fire Poi

it may just be the buz

it may just be starting my new job and being all excited about that but i am feeling better than i have been feeling for months. which is great i even think that i am starting to lose some of the whieght i put on at the y.

although had a bit of a hectic day yeasterday it started off well and was feeling quite happy with myself and so forth but then i took gordon and his mum down to edingbough to the station and the car overheated on the way out of the city partly due to not haveing toped up the water and the whole city being in gridlock more so than normal. this conspired with the bridge being a car park and me getting totaly lost when i got back to perth for me arriving at my meeting so late everyone was going oops but i did meet the new local youth worker.

i also had a rad night no one had said but i went back to the church after the meeting to disscuss it with the person who had actualy turned up to the meeting and see if there was anything i needed to know. and there where a gang of young people practicing for worship which was for the new youth worship event. which i will be involved in i met a few more of the local youth workers which i am sure will be helpful how is it i have missed these people over the past few months honistly it is like starting all over again in a totaly new place. had a great night

ready...... steady...... go!!!!!!!!!

well i have finaly got there and have started my new job i am so chuffed so far. wont tell you about the hassles getting up here i mean after all it was all about silly airoplains and thats really not important.
went to my new line managers house for drink last night signed my contract and chatted a bit about my week although it all still feels a bit wooly thats fine because that will give me time to settle and get used to the place a bit and give me an opertunity to think through some half formed ideas i have for where i want stuff to start heading. it also means i can go and join in with the current work and see how i fit into that. by the sounds of things they have a pritty good set up though so its all good.

church this morning was nerve racking meeting all those people is always hard but i have a feeling i will be right at home there pritty quick which will be lovley i really like the prospect of having a home church again.

my office rocks the young people cleaned it and painted it for me which was so lovley i met a few of them today but they where off to a baptisum so i will meet more over the week. but back to the office they had painted it yellow and oringe and pink and green i am so chuffed aperantly they just did it without any prompting.

feeling really blessed and really tired now think i shall head to bed soon

oh gordons mums up at the moment which is also lovley but gordon and she both disaper tomorrow which is a big bummer if you ask me.

cleaning

just finished cleaning the house so that my family will hae somewhere nice to come back to after their holiday. the smell of cleaning products is very strong at the moment and i feel tired but quite pleased with myself. its been a long time since i have cleaned this house top to bottem but this is where i learned those skills so it was fairly simple and easy.

about to take the dog for his penoltamate walk although i think that i will wait till the end of this disc of jane eyre before i go i am totaly enjoying it my abridged version was totaly pants and left out really improtant detail but i guess they all do. nearly half way through since yesterday i am so sad arnt i.

cleaning and classic novils. but you cannot say the jane is dull i mean it is a great example of early feminisum wounderful

London and Dad

yay saw dad today was great really lovley to see him really really really really really lovley and not because he bought me loads of stuff or took me out to lunch in one of my fav restraints i miss my dad very much and would have been happy sitting all day in a park chatting.

but hey not complaining we went to see the dutch portait exerbision which was great really really intresting some of the pictures where so spectuala and so different from what you normaly see. can't explain really they just where.

then we went to paperchaise and the talking bookshop and hmv and ended up in rada chatting to dianas workmate while dad met the cast of his next show.

half a sixpence is going up to aberdeen and dad said he would be me some tickets which is really exsiting i am so looking forward to it.

ouch

my tummy is giving me jip and am sitting in mums office having run out of things to do so i guess unless they come up with a whole new list of things to do this is my last day in here.
had another lazy day yesterday when i played far to much on the computer but hey did mums ironing so she will be happy.
spent this mornign cleaning the rooms that i am not useing i figure if i do the cleaning it will be nicer house for my family to come back to and by the sounds of things they have not had the best holiday ever. chris is quite pourly with an ear infection poor kid they had to go to the hospital and everything.

i need to change my profile picture

well on blogger i do not really on face book it is a bit strange posting between two things but the one on blogger is from my flat in cathcart which i left 3!! years ago so will find an approperate one when i go home not as if people arn't obsessed with taking my photo for some reason.

anayhow what have i been up to i am totaly enjoying being home its actualy really lovley no stress because my post does not come here lots of good company of friends and whatnot. walking the dog and running around in my brother car.

dan gen pete and i had another bbq and video night last night we drank a bottle of wine and relaxed which was lovley. watched sin city which i really enjoyed i am quite supprsed to say but hey.

church in the morning was good it is acutaly funny how weired it is to be with them to weeks in a row but it was nice to hear ian preach (they had been to new wine (where i became a christian) last week which excited me) the sermon was on the resurtion of lazeras which was really good i think i got out of it the most that god does not do things the way we wont him to (or at least not all the time) he does things in the way that will bring him most glory. and putting that into the conxtect of my life since april it is very lifting and i came away feeling good about the whole thing (arn't i being grown up)

can't wait to start my new job next week!!!

why is it i never remeber my password

it was a joy not bring my lapdown down the country with me it meant i did not have to lug it around at the airport but its a pain because i have all my passwords saved on it so i am currently surfing the net despratly trying to remeber what password i use where but hey there are worse things in life.



been going into the warehouse and doing some work on health and saftey for my mum while she is away also been doing alittle dogs body work but thats okay.

although have been feeling very tired after each day it is a bussy office and can get quite intence also the fact that almost everyone in there is relatied to me in some way is quite scary i don't think i have been around my exstended family for the lenght of time for at least the last 5 years but it is all good.

other than that it has been a few days of seeing friends who i never get to hang out with properly eating good food at their houses and serving well we sharn't say good food at mine going to have a dvd night tonight with Gen and Dan which will be lovley and am looking forward to church again on sunday.
although am really starting to look forward to getting back to perth and starting my new job have loads of ideas already and am not even there yet.

rushden

i am getting through my first full day at home with only the dog and the cat for company. of course going to church this morning helped alot. it was a really good service thoughts on Noha which like david said is one of those stories you have heard so meny time you think that you just can't get anything else out of it but there really is alot more to it than you hear in sunday school.

went shopping and bought a pair of shorts in tescos along with my weeks food and stuff really really lovley and hot today going to go for a dip in the hot tub now which is good.

looking forward to tomorrow as dan and gen are coming round and we are going to have bbq and then tuesday going to the wearhouse to see family and do some work. and then in the eve going to bill and hillaryies house for dinner so all in all these two weeks are starting off well.

although am missing gordon wish he was here.

back from dublin

gordon and i had a nice trip to dublin over a very long weekend. started off abit well dull and grey partly because of poor weather partly because of us being tired and having to move hotels and not being able to work out the public transport system.
but once we where finaly settled and sorted and had worked out all that stuff we where fine and had a great time eating to much walking loads and loads and listening to irish music which was cool.

we also visited a few museams did the bus tour (the one thats everywhere all over the world big red open toped busses you know the onse i mean) and went to a prison which was being used as a museam mainly telling about the easter uprising in 1916 learnd loads that really should have been basic to our education but there you go nothing is perfect. wish i was not back in the real world again lots to look forward to but a few hurdels before i get there.

not feeling well

lying in the bath this morning and started feeling terribly dizzy got out went through the normal routeen of getting a large drink of water and going back to bed for half and hour feeling alittle better now but still not wonderfull.

think it is back to the stress thing been holding it together for a wile now and am exsperancing my bodies normal payback but hey if its just that which it is i know it will go in a few days hours ect.

been a bussy few days been helping gordon move and with some of his youth work played altamate fribee with some young people and so forth and did the driving him back and forth thing.

The Secret of Poi Flowers

God is Good

well it turns out that the desision that i would have had to make if i had been offered the outwards bounds leader job would not have been so hard anyway.

had a very nice day in the sun at clan yesterday and it looks like it was going to be the only sunny day they get so thats good. had a chat about the job although felt alittle like i was being interveiwed again. mainly because they have been reading this (hello people from gateway :) ) and wanted to make sure that i was serouse about this job. i hope i reasured them.

am now looking forward to the next year and feel like i have a purpose again which is really really really good have to go and re-set up all my direct debits again though. need to stop making snap desisions.

Clan its self was brill although it is not as jam packed at Soul Surviour some good teaching although did come away with some real questions that i will be delving into my theology books about very soon

helping Gordon tonight and tomorrow life doesn't half move fast does it.

low

didn't get the job as a trannie instructor they said that they had to look at the overall mix of the team not really sure what this means. but i guess it means that they don't feel that i will really fit in. am gutted but i guess on the possitive side it makes choices much easyer later on.

feeling very low though not the best wish i was still at camp.

intresting

just had one of those mornings when you get into a good book and completley lose track of time. just read 'the shock of your life' which was brill. all about death and what happens next. bought it on camp it was recomended by chris did start it there but only got a very little way in so have basicaly read the whole thing this morning.

it has really made me think about what type of christian i am and what i want to acheive in my service of god. and where my life is at the mo there is alot of refection to be done on this book so may come back with more. but what is first in my head at the moment is that God is amazing and his grace through Jesus is undescribable!!!!!

if you are one of my friends who doesn't know this yet please read this book or the bible or just talk to me and find out more. i wanna see you dancing at the throne in heaven with me.

the case of the dissapering week

just back from the motivate camp which was great!!!

it was so lovley to be working with neil cat kenny and ped again as well as caching up with some of my old college mates and making some new ones can't wait for next year for that.

but of course the best bit was running around enthusing helping and chatting to the young people who came. we only had ten young people at this camp but it was brill. chris and i had three boys in our groups who where all 'special' as they themselves kept saying. we had a great time chatting just being around for these boys.

we did all the normal things of camp archery, low ropes (which chris broke hehe) running around the woods, bbq and so much more not to mention messy games last nights. the thing that hits me know is that even though i am nackered beyound belief i can't beleive that the week is already over i am actualy up for going beck tomorrow rounding up all the kids and spending another week having a laugh. can't wait for next year

although there where good bits and bad bits i did a face plant right early on in the week and have loose teeth a big nose and a big lip just wish i had a video clip of it because i know it was funny. i also got a call from con and i have lost my job at the restraint (its all political) but on the possitive side i have heard back from the gateway and they are offering me a position going to see them on monday tuesday to see what they are really hoping for although i still have not heard from whithaugh park so i may have a hard disision to make this week eeeeek. will stop brain dumping now

whithaugh park

last few days have been a bit crazy but good fun all the same. went for an interview to become a trainee instructor at whithaugh park down in the boders it is part of the barnabas adventure centres and if there was ever a job i wanted i want this one. but we shall have to wait and see although it should not be to long before i find out whats going on.

the interveiw was fun we got to do high ropes and lots of other cool things so it was well worth going just for that.

came back and filled in for one of gordons volunteers taking some young people to the beach which was nice although i so hate sand we found loads of crabs and various other things which where cool. gordon showed how brave he was when we found a butter eel that protested to being picked up it fliped and he was a distant dot on the horizone very funny indeed although i can't say i was that much braver.

a bit of well deserved luxuary

gordon took me out for a meal last night which was lovely it was only the beefeater at dear park but well the food is good there and it has a nice atmospher somewhere between the pub and a proper restraint our. it was nice to relaxe for a bit before the worries of the world flood back in. we then went back to his room and watched 'the queen' which was a good film even if the dvd would jump somewaht during it. he wasn't feeling well when i left looks like he is going down with a bad cold hope he feels well today or at least if he is not well will take the time of he needs.

another day another interveiw

will be of to newton merns in a few hours for another interveiw which will be intresting can't say i am looking forward to it but then who ever looks forward to interveiws really going to a place to pass judment and have jugdment passed on you never fun. even if you where sure thats where god was leading you.

feeling very low today

lonley

church yesterday was really nice the young peoples prize giving they had puppets which reminded me of bill and his puppets in the mission. but a quite cool service.

i came home and started to feel really low though which was not very nice played with my poi but could not go for a walk because it was stormy so watch lost for a bit and read some more of vanity fair i don't think either thing where the best idea because by the time i went to bed was so unhappy that i could not sleep.

but yesterday is yesterday and today is today i am trouping down the edingbough to see gordon even if it is for a tiny time before i go to work. but it will at least be enough to say i have seen him i have missed him so much this week.

contact

went to the optisiona today to get contact lenses fitted was 20min late which was not the best but they fitted me in. then had to go away for 45 min wile they made the lenzes.

there was much halarity wile i attempted to put the things in and then again when i tryed to take them out took ages and ages and my eyes are quite saw now but i am sure i will get used to it and its not as if i intend to wear them every day or anything.

feeling better but not 100% yet

interveiw scaryness 3 and other stuff

had my interveiw with the gateway church last night think it went well although i am guilty of turning up an hour early and woundering why there was no one about went home found out i was an hour early and came back again so that was okay. goodness sometimes i wounder where my brain is.

the only downside of this interveiw was that my noise started running towards the end and i have woken up today completely bunged up and not feeling at all well not the best not the best at all.


was late for my appointment for the job centre got my rists slaped for that but i am pourly so they can leave me alown it was fine mind.

going to curl up and watch some rubbish on the tv now and see how i feel for work tonight yikes

smokers

so i was standing outside neros waiting for allan to come and have a coffee with me when this cuy with a suitcase flicks his cigeret bud in my direction much to my indeignation it almost hits me and worse still could have ruined my new top on its first outing since frenzy. was about to say somthing along the lines of are you clind i am standing right here. when a police man comes up and says you know its a criminal offence to drop cigaertte buds on the streets in perth and fines the guy £50!!! feeling that me moaning about him nearly hitting me would after that be sault in the woond i leave it be. have no problem with the police mans actions there was a bin with an ash tray oh about four paces to the laft of the guy and another one about 6 paces to the right and another on the other side of the street directly oppersit and i think that it would have been less of a hardship for him to just go and put the discusting thing out properly even if the police had not spotted him.

coffee with allan was lovley

crazed times

quite an eventful weekend it has to be said.

friday night maddness totaly mad went to work and found that we had two new starts which was cool both very nice girls but of course not sure what they are doing yet!! and we had two tables of ten plus a full restraint very stressful. worked very hard but somehow managed to overlook a cupple for 45 minuits or at least thats what they said yikes. they wanted irish coffee so con made them two which they sent back because one of the coffees had mixed with the cream :-s this seemed to be the last straw for con he slamed the coffees down spilling them everywhere and ran out. so it was me and the two new starts left to man the fourt hummm hard work we managed though would not say wounderfully but we did.

frenzy was great took to of Gordons young people which was lovley they seemed abit over orred by the whole thing to start with but soon got into it saw loads of friends saw some wounderful bands old and new and just had the best time. although i thought it was a shame that we did not have a few more home grown bands up seemed to mainly be American bands but saying that they where brill.

sunday lazer tag after church took 31 young people to lazer tag great fun got very sweaty and came first in our group the first game and 3rd the second game which was a rather large supprise for me. then we got back to the church and had a bbq which perants came to and the people from the eve service had a burger to which was lovley. got the circus skills out although did not run the workshop, partly because i wanted food and partly because the young people where so spread out with the stuff it was impossible to do it. tort three how the juggle though and a few got the plate spinning, one young man was brill at the power stick was so impressed.

interveiw scaryness 2

yesterday was quite a day goodness the amount of driving i did i would have gotten half way home. first went to college to see neil which was lovley some things never change we had a nice chat about life the univers and camp.

then i went and saw linda and talked about dogs, big brother and other important topics lol bliss then got changed in her bothroom for the interveiw. and i don't think i look that much like a bank manager in my suit lol even if linda thinks i do.

went to saltcoats and ended up driving past the church sevril times before i finally found it urg. sat in the car and did my make-up and sprad on the perfum it was such a hot day i was so sweaty. one of the people in the church spoted me and brought me in to sit in a room in the church. not sure if i was ever so happy about this i was quite contant sitting in the car sorting my self out and listening to the radio i felt slightly rushed but hey.

the interveiw was sertainly not the worst i have been to and i think it is somewhere i could work quite happly. so we shall see

asta la vista

wery excited in slightly in pain this afternoon.
went to the wart clinc at my local gps this afternoon and he blasted my warts so hopefully in the next few days they will drop off and die wohoo and i will feel more beautiful. i mean one came on my nose which is just the last straw i have put up with them far to long as it is i counted 12 this morning in the bath yikes.
but anyhow he got the cold stuff that i can't remeber what its called and blasted the things yay although i almost fainted after the whole process which was a bit imbarrising since it really was not all that painful.

so the doc said give it four weeks and if they have not droped off come back and we will have another go. yikes

didn't get the north berwick job

don't totaly upset or supriesed but rejection never the best

maintance

doing amintance on my life clean flat send of application forms put away shopping and so forth. things are pritty dull at the moment working at the restrant is okay but i know its oly temporary the people are nice one of the waitress has been coming up to see me inbetween shifts because she lives outside perth and has no where else to go but i enjoy having the compony so thats good.